This is my first year celebrating Mother's Day as a mom.
I have said it before on this blog and I'll say it again. Becoming a mom is the coolest, most fun, and happiest thing I have ever done with my life. This surprises me. I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would like being a mom on the level that I do. I give June baths and I dress her and I feed her and I hold her in my arms and over and over the thought comes to my mind, Being your mom is such a privilege.
It's a privilege to be the one who she lights up to see. It's a privilege to know exactly when she needs to eat and what she should eat. It's a privilege to be able to pick her up when she's crying and frantic and to feel her immediately relax in my arms. It's a privilege to know that she trusts me, that she needs me, that she is comforted when she sees me. It's a privilege to protect her, to make her feel safe, to teach her.
I can think back to a hundred times in my life when all I have wanted was my mom. When I was little and my stomach hurt I remember how my mom would sit on the couch and rub my bare tummy to make it feel better. Only she could do it in the exact right way; only she knew how. When I moved to college, I sobbed uncontrollably after my mom dropped me off at my dorm. On my mission, my mom was my comfort, the ultimate symbol of home and love. Even as an adult, I constantly want my mom. When things don't go right, when I'm scared, when I'm overwhelmed the first person I call is mom. She can fix any situation.
My mom and my June bug, my two favorite ladies on this earth.
I've thought a lot about why I like being a mom so much and why it surprised me. How did something that I was not looking forward to in the least become my favorite thing in the whole world? What was I not expecting?
And I think I figured it out. I think it's the reason why all moms like their kids so darn much, and why being a mother is so awesome in the first place. Simply put, I like who I am when I'm with June. And I don't always like who I am. I don't like when I'm short tempered, when I'm stressed, when I'm sassy, when I'm unkind, when I'm frantic, when I'm lazy, when I'm unmotivated. I don't like it when I'm impatient with students, I don't like it when I snap at Greg, I don't like it when I say something unkind behind someone's back. I hate those versions of myself.
But mom Bonnie is the best Bonnie there is. With her, I'm my best self. I'm patient. I'm unhurried. I can't stop smiling at her. I don't care about trivial little things- I'm no longer bothered by the person who cut me off on traffic or stressed about the money we're spending on our credit card . I am so much more calm and happy when I'm with June. All of my good traits come out and the things about myself that drive me crazy go and hide for awhile.
I am the best version of myself when I am being June's mom.
Lucky me, I get to be June's mom forever.