Somebody tell me how it is possible for a mom to watch her children grow up without it completely breaking her heart. Yesterday I was having my first baby, and today that first baby is one year old, and tomorrow that baby will be moving out of the house, and the next day she will be having her own baby. How is it possible to watch your babies grow and not just be crying buckets every night of the week?
It's June's birthday, and if you haven't caught on, I'm an emotional wreck.
June has been the biggest surprise. I know I've said that on here before and I'll say it again. And again. And again. She surpassed our wildest dreams of what having a baby would be like. She is the perfect child for us and brings us joy and more joy and then a little more joy.
Before I had June I think I was afraid that my heart would have to stop loving other things so that I could love a baby. I thought this due to things people told me and my not totally understanding of what they what were saying. Some people told me having a baby put a strain on their relationship. Some people told me they didn't want to work anymore, even though they once loved their job. Others told me they didn't have time for friends or to hang out with their sisters anymore. I listened to all of these experiences and I subconsciously told myself that in order to love a baby I must stop loving some of the other things that occupied my life. I would have to divide my love to make room.
That has not been my experience. My experience is that my love is added upon. Every good thing that I loved before I had June, I still love. In fact, I love those things even more. I love Greg more. I love teaching more. I love hanging out with my friends more. I love reading more. I love my siblings and my mom more. June didn't take away any of that love at all- she added upon all of it.
I remember when I was in college and in a new relationship, a friend said something to me about, "It's so fun to be in a relationship. It makes everything about life a little more fun and a little more exciting." I didn't agree at the time because the guy I was dating was a real idiot, but I agree now, ten years later about June. Every experience is a little more fun with June. Everything about life is just a little more exciting. Going to the store is more fun. Watching movies is more fun. Vacations are about twelve times as awesome. Every aspect of my life is enhanced thanks to our little crawling slobbering blubbering bug in a rug.
So Happy Birthday, Junebug. You can never imagine how you have changed your mama's life- never guess the depths of my love for you.
And now, a ridiculous amount of pictures. Because I have no self control. CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP.
One year with June: