The Life of Bon: How to have a kick butt marriage

Monday, January 30, 2012

How to have a kick butt marriage

First off, I am sorry, mom for saying that word in the title.  I know you hate it.  I just didn't think "kick bum" had quite the same "oomph".  Please forgive me.

I don't mean to toot my own horn or anything, guys, but I've got something pretty freaking sweet lined up for you today.  I recently met my blogger friend, Eryka, and you want to know the gosh darn craziest thing that we discovered?  We got married on the exact same day!  At the exact same time!  In the exact same room!

HA!  Obviously that's impossible, but I had you going for a second, didn't I?  But we DID get married on the same day and that is pretty cool.  So to celebrate the extraordinary coincidence  it is that we tied the knot on the same day, we decided to post on each other's blogs what we have learned about marriage.  Eryka and I are approaching our one year anniversary (Er... to our husbands... not to each other...) so obviously, we think we have got it all figured out by now!

So, without further ado... here is ERYKA!!!  (And because I couldn't resist, you will see my own comments interspersed in the article.  They will be in parathensis.  And in italics.  And blue.)

Ah, ain't she the cutest?  What I want to know, though, is
WHO is that man texting in the background?
Hey everyone my name is Eryka I blog over at ABCDE. I am so excited to be over here on Bonnie's awesome blog. (ahem… why, thank you, Eryka.  I didn’t want to say it myself, but now that you’ve admitted it…) 

My husband and I were married on March 12th, 2011 in the Sacramento, California Temple. (In case you missed it the first time, also the day I got married!) If you wanna learn more about what we believe click here. This year has been one of the best years; I have learned so much about myself and my husband. (I inserted that semi-colon myself.  I just couldn't let it go with a comma.  I'd be ashamed to stand in front of my students...) I could go on and on about things I have learned this first year, but instead I have decided to limit it to five tips for an awesome marriage! 

1. Communication: You can't expect your spouse to read your mind and know what you are feeling. I tend to bottle things up and let me sit until they explode. Since I have gotten married, I have learned that I can't do that. I have to let my husband know what I am feeling. (Especially important for us girls.  Boys don’t know what we’re thinking, no matter how much we think they should.  If you want your hubby to buy you flowers, just TELL HIM TO)

2. Date nights: Sometimes the best date nights are the ones where you don't do something super fancy or extravagant. Those date nights in with take out or a nice home cooked meal and a movie are the best. I have learned to really love them. They are some of my favorite moments. It doesn't matter what you do for a date night as long as you make time for them. Once a week make room in your schedules for a date night!  It can even be a group date, those are super fun, too! 

3. A good sense of humor: I can't even tell you guys how many times we have been "bickering" about something and then we both just start laughing because we realize how ridiculous the thing is that we are "bickering" about. So, make sure you laugh together and really understand your spouse’s sense of humor. 

4. Make time for snuggles: whether it be on the weekend before you get up for the day, or at night on the couch while watching a movie. Snuggles are one my favorite thing in the entire world. (Amen to that, sister!)

5. Make Christ the center of your marriage. It's so important to pray and read your scriptures together daily. I'll be honest with you guys, it is something we struggle with. We do say our nightly prayers together, and I'll tell you, it has made such a difference in our marriage. I can tell a huge difference in our days when we don't say our prayers. Also, I love that after we finish our prayers Dan always leans over and kisses me goodnight. Love it! (Nothing better than a little good night smoochy smoochy)

I really love being married. It is one of the greatest blessings in my life to have someone who loves me and who I will be with forever!

I loved being over here on Bonnie's blog today. Hope you guys enjoyed it! Don't be shy, stop by my blog and say hi! Hope you guys have a wonderful week! 

See, I told you it was going to be good.  That girl's a smarty, you can tell.  I hope you'll go visit her blog and when you do, make sure to tell her you came from Bon Bon!

Now, I'd love to stay and chat longer about how great marriage is and all, but there's a Jazz game on.  You understand.


  1. I totally agree with this, esp with the date nights. My husband and I make sure to have one once a week and we eat out or something and sometimes people laugh at us about it but then you'll slowly see them start to be interested and ask you each week what you are going to do.

    Keep it up ladies - I'm going to hit a year of marriage in July! We got a lot in common :)

  2. haha. i love it! your's is up on my blog now!!

  3. Thank you for the great post and advice! It really hit the most important things in relationships.
    Oh, and snuggle time is seriously the best!

  4. These are some really great tips!

    You get one entry(comment) on my giveaway for following, and you get another entry for each if you share it on your blog, facebook, or twitter. :) Good luck!!

  5. wow date night what is that hubby and i haven't had a date since my younger brothers stated having kids we are the resident babysitters.

  6. I think this is awesome "ladies". Date nights are wonderful but sometimes hard when the kiddies join the mix but keep them up. The Hubby and I have been married 36 years this month. It has not been a bed of roses but pretty darn close. Sometimes people ask me what I still find to love about my guy and I quickly say laughter. He still makes me smile and laugh. I never tire of his stories, and I'm smiling now just thinking of him. Good luck, you are well on your way to 36+ years! Carla

  7. I'm a new follower! Nice to meet you. Love your blog. Mamarrazzi sent me over. She is very cool, so I knew you would be too!

  8. First off, your blog is super cute - totally a new follower : ) And second, I appreciate this post so much! And agree with all of it, especially the last little tip. Love your lime green room changes as well below : ) Keep up the awesome blogging!


  9. This is such a great blog swap! Can't wait to head over to her blog and check it out- plus your story!

    And I couldn't agree more about communication and making time for each other. Without these two things, no relationship could ever work!

    Hope you're having a great week!


  10. I've been married for 22 years and I can attest to the fact that all of her tips WORK!

  11. Anonymous1:26 PM

    It's awesome that you've made a blogger friend. It's so amazing to find people online that have the same interests no?

  12. Date nights are amazing! My sister-in-law recently bought me a magnetic calender with special magnets for important events e.g. Mum's birthday; she said she bought it for me because it had special magnets for date nights! We love arranging that special time plus, if I just say we're going to the cinema it's a normal (ish) night, if I say it's 'date night' we both dress up in our fancy clothes! R x