The Life of Bon: So long sweet summer.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

So long sweet summer.

Laid my clothes out and everything, just like when I was in third grade.

In the morning I start my first day of my fourth year teaching.

I feel more scared of the start of the school year than I have ever felt before.  I am sure I was petrified my first year, but I don't remember now. Second year I had a weird sense of false confidence because I was sure I had already learned every thing there was to know about teaching and teenagers. Third year I realized I still knew nothing, but was stoked out of my mind because over half of my students were returning students. It makes a world of difference if you know the beast before you tame the beast.

I've already been "back to school" the past week, attending every variation of meeting imaginable.  And while we're on the topic, aren't orientation/ get to know you meetings the weirdest?

For example: this week at our first official faculty meeting the principal had us all go around and say our names, what we taught, and "something interesting" about ourselves.  There are about 100 teachers at my new school so there obviously wasn't time for all the fascinating details about each one of us, just something little and interesting.

Teachers started going around, cracking jokes, some telling terrible interesting things about themselves and some telling terribly boring things about themselves.

As it got closer to me, I panicked.

What can I say about me that is interesting?  What is interesting?  Hurry Bonnie!  Think of something INTERESTING about yourself!  Isn't there one thing in this whole world about you that is interesting?!?

I play the piano?  No!  That's freaking boring.

I can stuff a ring up my nose?  Too creepy and weird for a first meeting.

I love to paint my toenails and fingernails?  Now I just sound like every girl who was ever born.

I like to travel?  Too trendy.

My husband and I are currently experiencing a mid life crisis of sorts and aren't sure where we will be living next year, what job he will be pursuing, if and when we will do grad school, if we are ready to buy a home, not to mention when we will start a family?  Too personal.

I toot in my sleep?  Too gross.

I have a blog and lots of real cool people read it every day, some total and complete strangers?  Now they will just judge me for having more online friends than real friends.

I love cheesecake and chocolate and ice cream.  Fatty.

I got scammed out of $1,100 this summer by wiring money to a total stranger in London?  In other words, I'm a total idiot.

That is how when it got to my turn I blurted out as fast as I could, "Bonnie.  I teach English," and sat down before anybody could even notice I was standing.

Nothing interesting at all.  Nada.  Zip.  Apparently, I am as uninteresting as they come because I myself can not even think of something to share with a room full of 100 strangers.

Oh, the pressure.

What do YOU say when someone makes you tell a crowd full of strangers something interesting about yourself?  I am in need of interesting facts about yourselves that I can claim my own.

Thank you and good night.

School in the moooooooooooooooooorning.


  1. Anonymous9:52 PM

    Depends on the crowd. I've gone with:

    - "I'm functionally fluent in sign language"
    - "I used to sit around the pool with your boyfriend"
    - "I believe that Mighty Ducks is one of the top three trilogy movies."
    - "I spent 3 years sending people to Israel"
    - "I got my current job submitting two term papers from college: Harry Potter - The Empire and Billy Joel: American's Greatest Folk Singer"

    I can usually come up with something relevant to the situation.

    1. "I used to sit around the pool with your boyfriend" ???

    2. Anonymous6:44 PM

      He and I worked at a campground as the only two lifeguards there. She was being nasty to me so I tossed her some back.

    3. Ahh, I see. I bet she didn't like that! Haha ;)

  2. Anonymous9:53 PM

    Also, you'll do great!

  3. I always say I'm terrified of roller coasters, which is true, just not sure what it says about me! Good luck!

  4. I pretty much do what you did. If I can avoid the "interesting facts" about myself, I will! I am sure you will do great this year!

  5. I am the victim of this all the time. I work in my college's orientation program, meaning that the "name, major, and Interesting Thing" game is played all.the.time. Definitely need to pull some weird things out of my hat on a regular basis. However, I am EXCELLENT at two truths and a lie - it's also one of my favorite games. Best of luck on your first day!

  6. You are hilarious! You are so very interesting and I think you just became more intriguing to your school! :) I love that you set out your clothes for the first day of school, I do it too!! :) Good luck at your new school! You will be fantastic and they will love you! :)

  7. I like to pull out the fact that I hit a pedestrian with my car when I was in high school, but my husband thinks I'm too flippant with that one. (She was totally fine btw.) Without that I'm at a loss. I like to sew, I like to read, I like TV, blah blah blah. Those games are the worst.

  8. I go with one of three:

    1) I go out of my way to make sure my socks don't match.
    2) I can hear dog whistles.
    and ESPECIALLY if there's one in the room
    3) I have an unnatural and unhealthy obsession with gingers.

    And then I make sure to make eye contact with said ginger to let them know that yes, I spotted their glorious head of hair the moment I arrived, and yes, I'm doing everything in my power to not run my fingers through it... Because that's just creepy, and I try really hard to not be a creeper.

  9. Ooh, here are my 3 go-to's:
    1. I once rode in the Oscar Meyer Wiener mobile.
    2. My grandparents used to own an ostrich farm, so I have ridden an ostrich.
    3. I cannot comfortably eat a meal without a napkin on my lap.

    I definitely think you should have said "I'm married to a fine ginger with whom one day I will have fine ginger children." ;)

  10. I hate hate hate these games! But as a fellow teacher, I 1- also just had to go through an awkward orientation at a brand new school. It was also my fourth year, and I was far more nervous than any of my other first days! You will be amazing! 2- I always make my students play these games, even though I personally hate them. Guess it's part of why I love the blog world- I'm super nosy haha!

  11. i'm sure you'll do great this year, such a funny post! :)

    Leyla xx

  12. Good luck taming the beast!! I am a teacher in my second year and I will be teaching Kindergarten for the first time...I'm terrified of my beast!!

    I usually say this, "Hi, I'm Kristina and I train and show cows for fun." Nobody knows what to say to that!

  13. Good luck, you'll do great and I'm jealous :)

  14. Ha! I always get nervous when they make you say something "interesting" about yourself! What if you think it is interesting, but it's actually weird?! Hope you have a great first year! :)

  15. I always freeze when asked to do this too! I hate defaulting to the "I'm short and breakable" thing... if I think of it sometimes I mention how I grew up above a funeral home. But that's much more fun for just randomly dropping it into conversations because the looks on people's faces are HIGHLY entertaining.

  16. I HATE ice breakers!!! I'd have prob done the same.

  17. Ice breakers TOTALLY give me anxiety! Happy first day of school, I am sure you will do wonderfully!

  18. I've gone with some fun ones...
    'I'm Jewish thanks to my birthmother..' - a two-fer because now they know I'm adopted.
    'Yes this IS all my hair' - because someone always asks
    'How did I get into this industry? I basically stalked the recruiter.'
    Maybe don't tell them you stalked anyone.

  19. My go to lately has been: "my brother in law and I have the same first and last name." That one makes people think a little bit. I have also gone with "My birthday is on Christmas day."

    Hope you had a great first day with the kiddos!

    1. Husband's brother or sister's husband? :)

  20. OMG! My job just went through a restructuring and we are having a meeting with the same group of people that I have been working with for the past three years. I have to write three separate things that people might now know about me. HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO DO THAT?! Good luck with school.

  21. I am a certified scuba diver and am training for a triathlon :)

  22. Oh mylanta..I hate those awkward introduction games. I struggle with finding something that is interesting about me that others won't find 1. incredibly stupid or 2. creepy. I feel your pain! Happy first day of school!

  23. Ohhhh those are always the worst! I never know what to say... one time I said something about how much I loved red grapes. What?

  24. I hate those moments. Especially hate it when they ask me what I like to do! Duh! I like to do the same thing as everyone else! You'll do amazing! I would have loved having you as my English teacher!

  25. My interesting fact is I have a long tongue. I say this every time I am in a situation like yours. It works every time. In college my roommates and I measured it and it is over 2 inches. So weird! The leader singer of Kiss and I are cool like that.

  26. In college, We had to do the interesting fact in my first studio class of four years...I was panicked too. Someone said they were afraid of Octopi so I said I used to work with Saltwater Aquariums. Also, BORING.

  27. Ugh - I hate the tell something interesting about yourself one. I always panic too. Good luck with your new school year!! :)

  28. Ugh, hate that "game"! I can never come up with anything either. I'm so boring. I was recently tagged on Instagram by 6 different people for that "list 20 interesting things about yourself" thing that's going around... I just keep avoiding it because I can't come up with anything!

  29. I have a great go to now... my husband and I have the same birthday. It gets a great WOW reaction every year. Prior to that it was I was an ice cream maker in college.

    This year my principal put a spin on it and decided to make us state our goal for this yea. That was rough.

    Good luck this year!

  30. I never know what to stay and often the worse silliest thing would come out because well that is what happens..........

  31. We've been doing our trainings all week (since our first day of school isn't until next week), and our first faculty meeting was all about poker and gambling, with the yearly theme being, "Play the hand you're dealt well."

    We're apparently getting the worst group known to the school next year, and I think they're trying to build us up before we're torn down in a week by a bunch of twelve-year-olds.

    Also, the vice principal put a bunch of the incoming students' faces on cards (like an ace card, or a joker) and then tried to explain how we shouldn't always decide which "card" a student is right off the bat.

    All the "jokers" and "low card" kids are on my rolls.

    I am not kidding about any of this.

  32. Anonymous4:12 PM

    I hope you had a great first day! I'm really bad at coming up with interesting stuff about myself, too. At least you didn't have to play two truths and a lie - I hate when that's an icebreaker.

  33. I hate being put on the spot like that and just out of anxiety wouldnt been able to come up with anything. Your post was hilarious btw and goodluck with your new school term!

    Dee of Ms Dee Kay

  34. Anonymous11:37 AM

    I might play off of this post. It's awesome. You're right, it's so hard to decide about interesting facts.