The Life of Bon: Throwback Thursday: FIRST KISS

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Throwback Thursday: FIRST KISS


A SUMMER OF THROWBACK THURSDAYS
BLOG STYLE

Here's how it works:

1.  Every Thursday through August we'll be throwing it back here at thelifeofbon.com.  We want to see pictures of course, but we want the stories that go behind those pictures even more!  And because I'm a total control freak, I've even mapped out a nice little schedule for all of us.  I figure the prompts will make it easier to come up with something to write about every week.

TH  6/13  A memory of learning to drive, your first car or the early driving days.
TH  6/20  Elementary school crush
TH  6/27  Throwback birthday
TH  7/4   Throwback fourth of July
TH  7/11  First job
TH  7/18  Moving away from home
TH  7/25  Memory of one or both of your parents from childhood
TH  8/1   Favorite summer vacation
TH  8/8   Childhood friends
TH  8/15  First kiss
TH  8/22  Memory of a high school teacher or high school class
TH  8/29  Back to school memory

Well, well, well.  Looks like it is time for the best Throwback Thursday post EVER.  I can't wait to read everyone's first kiss stories.  I'm guessing that for 9 out of 10 of you your first kiss was pretty horrific and that is exactly why I am looking forward to it.  What story is better than a terrible first kiss story?

For some reason unbeknownst to me, I made it all the way to age 18 before I kissed anyone.  During junior high I was a total freak, so that it explains why I made it through those years of angst kissless.  I don't know what happened in high school though.  I don't think I was overly weird or overly ugly or overly anything.  It was pretty simple really: the boys I liked never liked me back, the boys that liked me I never liked back. That's how I ended up my first few weeks of college still a member of the good old "virgin lips" good.


Ah, look at those virgin lips.  Just waiting for their first kiss.

After a few weeks at BYU I started hanging out with this boy Jordan who I actually didn't like much at all, he was just someone to keep me occupied until the apple of my eye, Josh noticed me.  You all know how that goes, right?  I could tell the story here, but lucky for you all I have documented the story in its detailed entirety in my journal from 2004.  The journal entry is so much better than anything I could ever write now.  Enjoy!

October 3, 2004

Last night Jordan called me to hang out.  He took me out for ice cream and that we sat down and at it in a secluded area.  Jordan started telling me about how his parents are getting divorced.  He knew exactly how to butter me up and make me feel bad for him.  We were sitting there talking for awhile, and then Jordan lay down.  I lay down too.  Dumb decision.  Our faces were right next to each other.  It was quiet and all of a sudden I realized Jordan was going to try to kiss me.  It seriously didn't dawn on me until that exact moment.  As I was realizing it, Jordan moved in for the kiss.  He missed and softly bit my bottom lip.  I moved my head so that he couldn't kiss me.  He didn't say anything and it was extremely awkward.  I didn't know what to say so I just kind of giggled and said, "Jordan, I can't kiss you..."  "Why not?" "Because I don't kiss on the first date." "Why not?" "It's a rule... I don't kiss on the first date."  That really isn't a rule of mine, I just thought it was a good excuse to not kiss him.  Jordan said in a disgusting, low, seducing voice, "Rules are meant to be broken."

At this point I didn't know what to do.  I wanted to kiss Jordan because I have never kissed anyone before and I would say it is about time!  However I didn't want to kiss Jordan because I don't like him and what a stupid first kiss!  Jordan continued to try to convince me to kiss him, "Why don't you kiss on the first date?" He asked. "Because girls who kiss on the first date are sluts." I replied.  Jordan acted appalled and said in a sympathetic voice, "No! I won't think you're a slut..."  Of course YOU won't, you idiot!  Everyone else will.  He is such a moron.  As I was debating how strong my desire was to not kiss Jordan, he went in to kiss me again.  I let him.  He didn't even start slow.  He just went for it.  I had no idea what to do.  I figure I must have been the worst kisser in the whole world.  I was completely disgusted by it.  I tried to turn my head so he would stop kissing me and he would kiss my neck.  I tell you, that guy did not know when to stop.

As much as I didn't like kissing Jordan, kissing was an interesting experience.  It did get kind of boring after awhile, though.  It didn't taste very good.  I think because we had both just eaten ice cream.  I kept opening my eyes while we were kissing.  I am pretty sure that is not a good sign.  I would open my eyes and look at him kissing me and think how ugly and stupid he looked.  I also kept thinking of Josh.  I can't tell you how many time I thought about Josh.  I'm pretty sure THAT is not a good sign, either.  I would open me eyes, look at the stars, and think about Josh as Jordan kissed me.  
Finally I got sick enough of Jordan kissing me that I told him I needed to go home.  He kept kissing me.  I said it again and he ignored me.  "Jordan!  I need to go home now!"  His reply?  "Yah... so I heard."  What a jerk, huh?  He has some nerve.  I sat up, which was kind of difficult with him kissing me, and told him to take me home now.  

Jordan walked me home and I was terrified as we neared my apartment that someone would see us.  We walked right in front of Josh's apartment building.  What if he was out front and saw us?  At the doorstep, Jordan kissed me more.  I pulled away and told him to stop because I didn't want people to see us.  His reply, "They're just jealous that they don't have anyone to make out with."  I was extremely disturbed by this.  Obviously that is what I was to Jordan, just someone "to make out with." I said goodnight and walked away.

And I never saw that boy again.

Pretty wild, huh?  It's funny now to read back on it and think how disgusted and weirded out I was by Jordan.  I may have been only 18 but it was still my first kiss and geez you can't go ape like that on a girl who has never even locked lips before!

It definitely wasn't the best first kiss, but it sure is a memorable one.  (And one I will probably never tell my children!)  Now link up your first kiss stories.  I don't care if you tell just the bare minimum or write it all out in its gory details- I just want to hear your Throwback First Kisses!


24 comments:

  1. lol, I love that you thought he looked ugly AND stupid! this is an amazing 1st kiss story!
    Lauren

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  2. OMG this is hilarious! Pretty much my experience with my first kiss, though! I was in 9th grade and the guy just kind of shoved his tongue in my mouth and I was like man, if this is how kissing is then I don't want to do it ever again. Thank goodness that's not true! The first time a guy tried to kiss me I put my head down and he kissed my forehead.. awkward!

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  3. OMG LOL. I am laughing so hard right now! "That's probably not a good sign" hahahaha

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  4. 18? That's young compared to me. I was 32 by the time I had my first kiss. :-/

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  5. I cannot BELIEVE I have never heard this story! That boy sounds like a rapist. My favorite line, "Of course YOU won't, you idiot!" Haha...My first kiss was my junior year of high school. I was madly in love (because that's the only kind of love you can be in in high school) with this boy and he smelled good and had long curly hair and was so utterly delicious. We were at a party and he was walking me to my car (I will not leave out that my car was a minivan) and I went to hug him goodbye and he just laid one on me. Mmm his lips were so soft and did I mention he smelled so good? I was in love with him for at least three months after that. I mean, it was the real deal - you know, long-term and stuff.

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  6. That is hilarious! Your journal entry says it so well. Mine was exceptionally awkward and uncomfortable!

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  7. You had me at "disgusting, low, seducing voice". I quite literally cracked up and then decided the vast majority of people have a rotten first kiss.

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  8. I made it to 18 until my first kiss too! It didn't turn out how I anticipated, it wasn't romantic... it was more of a makeout sesh... and awkward... and we weren't even dating, we had been best friends, but obviously liked each other lol. We started dating 2 weeks later and are still together. I'm 24 now. My parents read my blog and probably wouldn't enjoy that story too much lol, they're super conservative, so I'm sorry I'm not linking up! What a terrible first experience for you though! I hate that!

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  9. haha! This is hilarious. I am convinced that no ones first kiss is amazing.

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  10. haha this is hilarious! ahh first kiss stories are quite entertaining

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  11. Wow, the man was pushy and so determined to kiss that night :) I understand you about that rule of yours - not to kiss on a first date. I did that after my fist kiss - I just couldn`t kiss a guy on a first day for years. Maybe it was because I didn` like them?

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  12. D.Y.I.N.G!!!! I am dying laughing!! You are hilarious.

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  13. Haha teenage guys are such creeps! I remember a guy I "dated" in high school, who I didn't even like but I just thought it was cool to have a boyfriend, would always try to Kiss me during passing period and it took everything in me not to scream. First of all I was horrified of being caught by a teacher and second of all he tried to eat my face every time. It was awful.

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  14. Love this! And I love that you have it documented!

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  15. Hilarious---your attention to detail in your journals never ceases to amaze me. I love to write, but my journals are usually pretty bland. Good on you for recording this all down!

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  16. Just discovered your blog from my friend and i'm dying now from laughter! ha! Love your writing and i'll definitely be tuning in to future posts. :)

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  17. That sounds like a horrible first kiss. Hope your second one was better :)

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  18. OMG how awful! Jordan was clearly a jerk, but I love 18 year old you! Too funny!

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  19. hahaha, love this! I remember my first kiss perfectly...I was 17 years old, with the most strict parents on the planet: no boys, not even as friends, period. well, of course that didn't sit well with me. i got my first job and met this cute boy a grade above me who went to my high school. we started hanging out at work and after school a lot. then one warm May day after walking around the high school campus twice, we sat down side by side on this hill overlooking the school, and he said "there is something I've been wanting to do." then he leaned in and kissed me. I remember it being sticky...hahaha. i was hot and out of breath from the trek up the hill and my mouth felt dry, and i just thought i was horrible at it. it was such a weird sensation, not anything like what i thought it would be...aka The Notebook. It's funny b/c after that first kiss, I always carried around bottled water, just in case i got "dry mouth" again.
    xoxo

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  20. I don't know that I'll blog about my first kiss, but I'll share it here:

    He's the son of my g-d parents dear friends and I've known him my whole life. We've never been close though we knew each other well enough from family functions. It was at one of these functions when we were in 7th and 8th grades. All the parents got together for something or other and there was a crew of us in the basement. I went upstairs to get some refills on drinks and snacks. He came up with me to help.

    He got close, looked at me, told me I was pretty and kissed me. It was sweet, there was a tiny bit of tongue and we heard the sliding door open so we quickly separated.

    We never really spoke of it again. I'd have to guess that it was because every time we saw each other from then on out (when schedules coordinated and such) one of us was always hanging out with someone else.

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  21. Love this! My favorite is that the whole time you knew he was a sleaze. You can only go up after that one! My first kiss was in a showing of 13 Going on 30 when I was 16. It was wet and sloppy and gross. I broke up with the guy soon after. Thankfully my opinion of that delightful chick-flick wasn't ruined by a nasty kiss!

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  22. aww cant believe that the Thursday throwbacks are coming to an end really enjoyed it :D

    Leyla xx
    mythoughtsandboredom.blogspot.co.uk

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  23. Oh no!! What a ridiculous story. Some boys. I've got to believe there are some who did it right though. I think you should have Greg write about his first kiss. Not when you get to another thousand viewers, just out of the goodness of his heart and to stick up for mankind after this story :)

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  24. Ugh, sorry your first kiss aw so awful! :(

    I really like your hair in the picture! I have a short a-line bob and have been wanting to change it up/shorten it a bit. What did the back of this style look like??

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