Tonight I grabbed dinner with a few friends I have met through blogging. Trust me, it is as weird to me as anyone else out there in this universe that I have met girls online and now hang out with those girls in a real setting. It feels like I am online dating these people only even more strange because we are the same gender and there are so many of us. Every time I go to a blogger hang out I feel like the world is going to explode at any minute because it's just! too! weird.! But then I stop thinking so hard and just enjoy the night.
It all started when Sierra texted me last night and asked if I wanted to get dinner with a couple of friends. I said yes as long as she is paying. She said fine. We were supposed to meet at 5:00 but I showed up at 5:30 because that's kind of my M.O. 30 minutes late at all times and in all places and in all things. I hate this about myself but am trying to fix it. Today I was late on purpose, though because I had to take my dog for a walk, and freak these dogs are hard work. Everyone always says how hard it is to be married or how hard it is to have kids but not once has anyone ever ever told me it would be hard work to have a dog. Sheesh. I got duped.
(I feel like now would be a good time to clarify that I still really like my dog. When he's not pooing on the carpet.)
It was a perfect "blogger" get together- not the kinds that are incredibly intimidating because there are 30 gorgeous women in stillettos and skinny jeans. Those get togethers scare the living crap out of me. This was more like "Hey. I'm going to get dinner. Come or don't come. Whatever." I showed up with my disheveled hair and my "I've been teaching for nine straight hours" makeup and a big puffy coat and didn't feel a bit bad about it. We all just sunk into a booth and jabbed away who cares what you look like anyway?
Naturally if you are eating with a bunch of bloggers the talk will turn to, well, blogging. We talked about a lot of the blog friends we share and bloggers we know but have never met and how weird it is that we read people's daily accounts whom we have never met. Blogging really is just the weirdest.
We made a few conclusions (although none too firmly) about blogging and why we read some blogs and mostly why we stop reading some blogs. Our main conclusion was that we stop reading certain blogs because we have lost "touch" with that person. That we no longer connect to them. All four of us agreed that our favorite blogs were the real blogs.
I think real blogging is incredibly tough. To start with, no one wants to look vulnerable or weak, and being real means showing vulnerability and showing weakness. No one wants to say that they are intimidated or that their feelings are hurt or that they are having a tough time in their marriage or that they have any faults at all. The catch 22 to it all is that the more we try to get people to like us by pretending that everything is perfect the less people like us. Ironic, isn't it? The perfect outfits. The flawless marriage. The well behaved kids. The adorable parties. The spotless home. It is beautiful yes, but is it real? And is this really the message we want other women to receive, that happiness comes from having it all under control? That happiness is about perfection?
Hmmmm. I suppose I'll get off my soap box now. All I wanted to say is that I appreciate the blog posts that are open and honest and real and vulnerable. Those are the blogs I will always read. And also that I appreciate girls who will grab soup at 5:00 on a Tuesday and sit and chat for hours and just be real with me.
Thank the heavens for girlfriends.