The Life of Bon: 5:00 on Tuesday

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

5:00 on Tuesday


Tonight I grabbed dinner with a few friends I have met through blogging.  Trust me, it is as weird to me as anyone else out there in this universe that I have met girls online and now hang out with those girls in a real setting.  It feels like I am online dating these people only even more strange because we are the same gender and there are so many of us. Every time I go to a blogger hang out I feel like the world is going to explode at any minute because it's just! too! weird.!  But then I stop thinking so hard and just enjoy the night.

It all started when Sierra texted me last night and asked if I wanted to get dinner with a couple of friends.  I said yes as long as she is paying.  She said fine.  We were supposed to meet at 5:00 but I showed up at 5:30 because that's kind of my M.O.  30 minutes late at all times and in all places and in all things.  I hate this about myself but am trying to fix it.  Today I was late on purpose, though because I had to take my dog for a walk, and freak these dogs are hard work.  Everyone always says how hard it is to be married or how hard it is to have kids but not once has anyone ever ever told me it would be hard work to have a dog.  Sheesh.  I got duped.

(I feel like now would be a good time to clarify that I still really like my dog. When he's not pooing on the carpet.)

It was a perfect "blogger" get together- not the kinds that are incredibly intimidating because there are 30 gorgeous women in stillettos and skinny jeans.  Those get togethers scare the living crap out of me.  This was more like "Hey. I'm going to get dinner.  Come or don't come.  Whatever."  I showed up with my disheveled hair and my "I've been teaching for nine straight hours" makeup and a big puffy coat and didn't feel a bit bad about it.  We all just sunk into a booth and jabbed away who cares what you look like anyway?

Naturally if you are eating with a bunch of bloggers the talk will turn to, well, blogging.  We talked about a lot of the blog friends we share and bloggers we know but have never met and how weird it is that we read people's daily accounts whom we have never met.  Blogging really is just the weirdest.

We made a few conclusions (although none too firmly) about blogging and why we read some blogs and mostly why we stop reading some blogs. Our main conclusion was that we stop reading certain blogs because we have lost "touch" with that person.  That we no longer connect to them.  All four of us agreed that our favorite blogs were the real blogs.

I think real blogging is incredibly tough.  To start with, no one wants to look vulnerable or weak, and being real means showing vulnerability and showing weakness.  No one wants to say that they are intimidated or that their feelings are hurt or that they are having a tough time in their marriage or that they have any faults at all.  The catch 22 to it all is that the more we try to get people to like us by pretending that everything is perfect the less people like us.  Ironic, isn't it?  The perfect outfits. The flawless marriage. The well behaved kids. The adorable parties. The spotless home. It is beautiful yes, but is it real?  And is this really the message we want other women to receive, that happiness comes from having it all under control?  That happiness is about perfection?

Hmmmm.  I suppose I'll get off my soap box now.  All I wanted to say is that I appreciate the blog posts that are open and honest and real and vulnerable.  Those are the blogs I will always read.  And also that I appreciate girls who will grab soup at 5:00 on a Tuesday and sit and chat for hours and just be real with me.

Thank the heavens for girlfriends.

21 comments:

  1. You've captured the essence of the blogging dilemma so well. And not only are those "perfect" blogs not real, I think sometimes they are not even interesting. Being flawed is essentially being human, and it's just inherently more interesting to read about humans than about perfect fictional characters. What is literature without conflict anyway? A really really boring story.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate the honesty of your writing and your blog. I stumbled upon it recently and have related so much to your many of your posts. You rock!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You've captured the essence of the blogging dilemma so well. And not only are those "perfect" blogs not real, I think sometimes they are not even interesting. Being flawed is essentially being human, and it's just inherently more interesting to read about humans than about perfect fictional characters. What is literature without conflict anyway? A really really boring story.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate the honesty of your writing and your blog. I stumbled upon it recently and have related so much to your many of your posts. You rock!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dogs are hard work, but they're the best of friends for real.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree 100% with you. My favorite blogs are those where they are vulnerable and REAL. Because that's how I know who they really are!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Its great to have girlfriends who you can just hang with xXx

    ReplyDelete
  6. The whole "perfect" blogger thing is why I don't read many lifestyle blogs. I read beauty blogs which are mostly make-up reviews with a few real-life stories thrown in. I read travel/expat blogs which are mostly about cool trips or readjusting to a new country, which is real-life with a cool theme. And then I mostly read other Christian feminist blogs because they're writing about the stuff that interests me the most: an intersection between their personal lives and scriptural interpretation. SOOO good. You're one of the only lifestyle blogs I read, and your honesty is what keeps me coming back!

    ReplyDelete
  7. It's so true about the bloggers you continue to follow. My favorites are the people who are real and I actually connect with. I have some blogs that I will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS read because they're my friends and we've made a connection. Sometimes we've met in real life, sometimes we haven't. The ones who I don't make that connection with - a lot of the time I stop reading their blog. At least regularly.

    ReplyDelete
  8. After the huge event we had last month (was it? I can't remember) in Provo, I had dinner with just three blogger friends a few weeks ago and I have to say I like the small groups so much more! It was hard to really talk or get to know anyone with a group that big, ya know?

    Also, I'm not a super happy everything is great blog, but my "real" side is more snarky and funny than emotional. I just don't do emotional. I hope that doesn't bother people, but then I guess that's just me being real!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Such a sweet post! I never know what's "appropriate" for blogging. I don't want people to think I'm a whiny little girl or think that I complain too much or anything. But damn it, it's my blog! Your blog date sounds wonderful!

    ReplyDelete
  10. That's what blogging should be - the blogger being who they truly are, not something another blogger wants them to be.

    ReplyDelete
  11. So true! I struggle with writing vulnerable posts because I AM vulnerable. We have to remember that there is always going to be at least one other person out there that feels similar to how we do. It's so easy to get overwhelmed at looking perfect that you even lose touch with yourself. Your post was such a perfect reminder to be true.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Woah! You and Amanda, two of my favorite bloggers, together! Mindblown.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love this...it's so true and something I really hope I do in my blog. It's one of the reasons I come to yours everyday! :)

    Laura @ Mice In The Kitchen

    ReplyDelete
  14. So true! I struggle with walking the line between "real" and "complaining/whining" but sometimes, life is hard and you just need to vent! Thanks for always being real with your readers! What a great post!

    ReplyDelete
  15. You are so great Bon! What a fun night! Such a happy day.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Perfection in a blog post. One reason I continue to read yours!

    ReplyDelete
  17. This is so great, Bon!
    How do you recommend getting more in touch personally with other bloggers to eventually GET to that point of meeting up and becoming reallifefriends? It's such an awesome way to connect to people.

    Erica
    ericaligenza.wordpress.com
    http://ericaligenza.wordpress.com/2013/10/30/october-links-i-love/

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hahaha... it DOES feel like online dating, doesn't it? I'm new to blogging but my sister has been doing it for years and has met some of the nest friends she's ever had through it. Amazing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm coming next time! Smaller, casual meetups are my thing. Especially if people have things besides sock buns and chevron shirts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha Brooke you crack me up.

      Delete
  20. I think honesty in blogging can go both ways---I've let myself become a little more vulnerable lately in my blogging, and I've actually LOST about five readers (which--I hate to admit it--has actually been really hard for me). It's silly that I care so much about pleasing these people I've never met and that I care that they care what kind of content I put out---blogging really IS the weirdest.

    ReplyDelete