So long sweet summer.

Laid my clothes out and everything, just like when I was in third grade.

In the morning I start my first day of my fourth year teaching.

I feel more scared of the start of the school year than I have ever felt before.  I am sure I was petrified my first year, but I don't remember now. Second year I had a weird sense of false confidence because I was sure I had already learned every thing there was to know about teaching and teenagers. Third year I realized I still knew nothing, but was stoked out of my mind because over half of my students were returning students. It makes a world of difference if you know the beast before you tame the beast.

I've already been "back to school" the past week, attending every variation of meeting imaginable.  And while we're on the topic, aren't orientation/ get to know you meetings the weirdest?

For example: this week at our first official faculty meeting the principal had us all go around and say our names, what we taught, and "something interesting" about ourselves.  There are about 100 teachers at my new school so there obviously wasn't time for all the fascinating details about each one of us, just something little and interesting.

Teachers started going around, cracking jokes, some telling terrible interesting things about themselves and some telling terribly boring things about themselves.

As it got closer to me, I panicked.

What can I say about me that is interesting?  What is interesting?  Hurry Bonnie!  Think of something INTERESTING about yourself!  Isn't there one thing in this whole world about you that is interesting?!?

I play the piano?  No!  That's freaking boring.

I can stuff a ring up my nose?  Too creepy and weird for a first meeting.

I love to paint my toenails and fingernails?  Now I just sound like every girl who was ever born.

I like to travel?  Too trendy.

My husband and I are currently experiencing a mid life crisis of sorts and aren't sure where we will be living next year, what job he will be pursuing, if and when we will do grad school, if we are ready to buy a home, not to mention when we will start a family?  Too personal.

I toot in my sleep?  Too gross.

I have a blog and lots of real cool people read it every day, some total and complete strangers?  Now they will just judge me for having more online friends than real friends.

I love cheesecake and chocolate and ice cream.  Fatty.

I got scammed out of $1,100 this summer by wiring money to a total stranger in London?  In other words, I'm a total idiot.

That is how when it got to my turn I blurted out as fast as I could, "Bonnie.  I teach English," and sat down before anybody could even notice I was standing.

Nothing interesting at all.  Nada.  Zip.  Apparently, I am as uninteresting as they come because I myself can not even think of something to share with a room full of 100 strangers.

Oh, the pressure.

What do YOU say when someone makes you tell a crowd full of strangers something interesting about yourself?  I am in need of interesting facts about yourselves that I can claim my own.

Thank you and good night.

School in the moooooooooooooooooorning.

How to eat an elephant: I'm stressed.

It's the stomach ache time of the year.

I don't know why the beginning of the school year always gives me a tad bit of anxiety.  I mean, I don't know what ragamuffins are going to wander into my classroom and tell me to f off, I don't know how absolutely terrible their spelling is going to be, and I have no idea exactly why the faculty meetings have to be over four hours long.  On top of that there's the anxiety about what I'm teaching.  Teaching English is awesome because it allows you so much creativity in the classroom.  In the same breath, teaching English is awful because it allows you so much creativity in the classroom.  It is this week of school that I am begging to be a Math teacher.  Just give me a text book with units already developed, worksheets written, tests ready to go and I'll shut up and be happy. Somebody make my curriculum for me, please!

Of course this year there is added stomach ache.  I'm at a new school.  I don't know the other teachers. This English department works way differently than my old English department did, (meet once a week to go over our lesson plans, coordinate with the History department so we are teaching the same thing at the same time, teach American literature in chronological order.  Oh, the changes!) I don't know any of the kids coming in, I'm short 8 desks that won't be here for another month, and the most anxiety inducing of all is I'm teaching AP Lit this year.  I've got no clue in the world what to teach/how to teach.

When I start to think about all this I have mini inside freak out session and then start seriously considering dropping it all to follow my childhood dream of being a ballet dancer.  It usually takes about a day for me to calm down and come to my senses.  Breathe in. Breathe out.  Take it one day at a time.  I don't have to plan for the whole year. I just need to plan for Monday. Isn't there some saying about eating an elephant one bite at a time?  Yes. That.  I've already had three very fun and very successful years of teaching.  There's nothing to say that this year won't be different.  I enjoy teaching.  I'm good at it.  I get along great with 16 year olds.  I'll be okay.

Today I've got Torrie here helping me to stop freaking out.  She talks about simplifying and decluttering our lives.  When I am stressed one of the things that helps me more than anything is to clean and organize.  Isn't that weird?  It's like by wiping off a desk I suddenly feel like I have total control over my life? Torrie is a fellow English teacher except for bless her soul, she teaches seventh grade.  There is a special level in heaven for people like Torrie.  I hope you enjoy this post from her as much as I did- it is spot on.  I am going to have to start using the "One in One out" rule immediately.  Pretty sure it's going to change my life!

You're up, Torrie!

Guest posting for a bigger, much cooler blog reminds me of high school---I once went to this party for "cool kids" (having no clue how I even got an invite), and instead of chatting people up or hangin' out by the pool, I latched onto another scared soul and proceeded to go off into some deep conversation or other until my friends found me and dragged me away.

Hopefully no dragging will be necessary here--that Bonnie looks pretty tough (after all, she teaches 17-year-olds, whereas I just deal with the 13-year-old wimps).

So, fellow scared party stalker: here is what I'm all about right now.

Name: Torrie Meidell

Location: Logan, Utah

Occupation: 7th grade English teacher (a feat for which I'm apparently going straight to heaven, according to most people I meet for the first time who ask what I do)

Blog: Autodidactic Ambitions (autodidact = self-taught, autodidactic = a word I made up. so sue me.)

Current Goals: go meatless 3X a week, read all the books off of the "100 most recommended classics" list, train for another marathon (but maybe not run it--my first one was brutal), follow Dave Ramsey's baby steps to financial peace (currently on step 3!), and my big one: organize and de-clutter every inch of our apartment in 50 weeks, a goal which has come with a surprising twist.

It's this last goal of organizing my life that I wanted to spend some time on today.

Quick life story: I grew up in the immaculate home of my mother, who is the most organized person on the planet. From her personal appearance to her utensil drawer, nothing is out of place. I, on the other hand, naturally shy away from cleaning or anything that remotely looks like housework, preferring instead to spend my time reading or checking out the latest episode of America's Next Top Model.

The problem, though, with growing up in a house that clean? I learned to expect cleanliness and organization without actually doing it myself.

This year of organization has had some surprising twists and turns (check out my journey here), but I think the thing that's surprised me the most was that this whole organization thing has pushed me towards totally simplifying my life.

Perhaps not surprisingly, these changes have brought me enormous satisfaction, so I thought I'd go ahead and share some of the tips I've learned for increasing life satisfaction through de-cluttering with you.

1. Focus on one small section at a time, and don't let yourself meander into some other project before your previous one is finished. Victory gives you the satisfaction and confidence to move on, so don't shortchange the momentum by spreading out your focus. Also, if your area is truly disastrous (like our spare bedroom above was), breaking things into small sections is the only way you'll be able to de-clutter without exploding.

2. Set a goal of how many items you need to de-own before you start the project. Set the number high, and count all similar items as one thing (like all those old school notebooks? they only count as one item that you've tossed). My overall number for this 50-week project is 500 items total, but I would recommend having a goal for each area (15 for the bathroom, 100 for the junk room, etc.).

a purse that was handmade for me that I will never, ever use

3. If you're having trouble getting rid of items for sentimental reasons, take a picture of you with the item and let it go. If something isn't bringing you joy as it currently is, either get rid of it or change its format so you can actually enjoy it.

4. Employ the one in, one out rule: if you acquire one new thing, you have to get rid of one old thing.

5. Surround yourselves with messages and media that inspire you to be happy with what you have instead of making you feel like you need more. I used to follow a lot of fashion blogs and spend hours on Pinterest and read a ton of magazines, but I found that all of those things just made me compare my life to someone else's, and mine seemed to always come up short---my clothes weren't good enough, my apartment wasn't beautiful enough, I myself wasn't skinny/pretty/smart enough, etc. etc. But once I stopped following all that and let my main blog feed be filled with people who I found inspiring (like Bonnie) and blogs that supported my goals (like The Minimalists and Sylvia's Simple Life), my own drive for stuff drastically decreased. (And a bonus? We're saving a LOT more money now, too!)

There's a lot more I could add, but I've held you hostage long enough. Have you ever tried de-cluttering or simplifying your life? What tips would you add?

Make sure to visit Torrie here!

Throwback Thursday: FIRST KISS

A SUMMER OF THROWBACK THURSDAYS

BLOG STYLE

Here's how it works:

1.  Every Thursday through August we'll be throwing it back here at thelifeofbon.com.  We want to see pictures of course, but we want the stories that go behind those pictures even more!  And because I'm a total control freak, I've even mapped out a nice little schedule for all of us.  I figure the prompts will make it easier to come up with something to write about every week.

TH  6/13  A memory of learning to drive, your first car or the early driving days.

TH  6/20  Elementary school crush

TH  6/27  Throwback birthday

TH  7/4   Throwback fourth of July

TH  7/11  First job

TH  7/18  Moving away from home

TH  7/25  Memory of one or both of your parents from childhood

TH  8/1   Favorite summer vacation

TH  8/8   Childhood friends

TH  8/15  First kiss

TH  8/22  Memory of a high school teacher or high school class

TH  8/29  Back to school memory

Well, well, well.  Looks like it is time for the best Throwback Thursday post EVER.  I can't wait to read everyone's first kiss stories.  I'm guessing that for 9 out of 10 of you your first kiss was pretty horrific and that is exactly why I am looking forward to it.  What story is better than a terrible first kiss story?

For some reason unbeknownst to me, I made it all the way to age 18 before I kissed anyone.  During junior high I was a total freak, so that it explains why I made it through those years of angst kissless.  I don't know what happened in high school though.  I don't think I was overly weird or overly ugly or overly anything.  It was pretty simple really: the boys I liked never liked me back, the boys that liked me I never liked back. That's how I ended up my first few weeks of college still a member of the good old "virgin lips" good.

Ah, look at those virgin lips.  Just waiting for their first kiss.

After a few weeks at BYU I started hanging out with this boy Jordan who I actually didn't like much at all, he was just someone to keep me occupied until the apple of my eye, Josh noticed me.  You all know how that goes, right?  I could tell the story here, but lucky for you all I have documented the story in its detailed entirety in my journal from 2004.  The journal entry is so much better than anything I could ever write now.  Enjoy!

October 3, 2004

Last night Jordan called me to hang out.  He took me out for ice cream and that we sat down and at it in a secluded area.  Jordan started telling me about how his parents are getting divorced.  He knew exactly how to butter me up and make me feel bad for him.  We were sitting there talking for awhile, and then Jordan lay down.  I lay down too.  Dumb decision.  Our faces were right next to each other.  It was quiet and all of a sudden I realized Jordan was going to try to kiss me.  It seriously didn't dawn on me until that exact moment.  As I was realizing it, Jordan moved in for the kiss.  He missed and softly bit my bottom lip.  I moved my head so that he couldn't kiss me.  He didn't say anything and it was extremely awkward.  I didn't know what to say so I just kind of giggled and said, "Jordan, I can't kiss you..."  "Why not?" "Because I don't kiss on the first date." "Why not?" "It's a rule... I don't kiss on the first date."  That really isn't a rule of mine, I just thought it was a good excuse to not kiss him.  Jordan said in a disgusting, low, seducing voice, "Rules are meant to be broken."

At this point I didn't know what to do.  I wanted to kiss Jordan because I have never kissed anyone before and I would say it is about time!  However I didn't want to kiss Jordan because I don't like him and what a stupid first kiss!  Jordan continued to try to convince me to kiss him, "Why don't you kiss on the first date?" He asked. "Because girls who kiss on the first date are sluts." I replied.  Jordan acted appalled and said in a sympathetic voice, "No! I won't think you're a slut..."  Of course YOU won't, you idiot!  Everyone else will.  He is such a moron.  As I was debating how strong my desire was to not kiss Jordan, he went in to kiss me again.  I let him.  He didn't even start slow.  He just went for it.  I had no idea what to do.  I figure I must have been the worst kisser in the whole world.  I was completely disgusted by it.  I tried to turn my head so he would stop kissing me and he would kiss my neck.  I tell you, that guy did not know when to stop.

As much as I didn't like kissing Jordan, kissing was an interesting experience.  It did get kind of boring after awhile, though.  It didn't taste very good.  I think because we had both just eaten ice cream.  I kept opening my eyes while we were kissing.  I am pretty sure that is not a good sign.  I would open my eyes and look at him kissing me and think how ugly and stupid he looked.  I also kept thinking of Josh.  I can't tell you how many time I thought about Josh.  I'm pretty sure THAT is not a good sign, either.  I would open me eyes, look at the stars, and think about Josh as Jordan kissed me.  
Finally I got sick enough of Jordan kissing me that I told him I needed to go home.  He kept kissing me.  I said it again and he ignored me.  "Jordan!  I need to go home now!"  His reply?  "Yah... so I heard."  What a jerk, huh?  He has some nerve.  I sat up, which was kind of difficult with him kissing me, and told him to take me home now.  

Jordan walked me home and I was terrified as we neared my apartment that someone would see us.  We walked right in front of Josh's apartment building.  What if he was out front and saw us?  At the doorstep, Jordan kissed me more.  I pulled away and told him to stop because I didn't want people to see us.  His reply, "They're just jealous that they don't have anyone to make out with."  I was extremely disturbed by this.  Obviously that is what I was to Jordan, just someone "to make out with." I said goodnight and walked away.

And I never saw that boy again.

Pretty wild, huh?  It's funny now to read back on it and think how disgusted and weirded out I was by Jordan.  I may have been only 18 but it was still my first kiss and geez you can't go ape like that on a girl who has never even locked lips before!

It definitely wasn't the best first kiss, but it sure is a memorable one.  (And one I will probably never tell my children!)  Now link up your first kiss stories.  I don't care if you tell just the bare minimum or write it all out in its gory details- I just want to hear your Throwback First Kisses!

How to Become a Fashion Blogger: You really need this!

Guys, I don't know if you know this, but I am so totally nailing it on the fashion blogging thing lately.  Like seriously rocking it.  It's so easy- I'm pretty much a pro at this point.  All you gotta do is get dressed and have whoever is around snap some pictures of you, right?  I know the rest of you are really struggling in your pursuit of fashion blogging queendom so I decided to help you out.  I present to you, everything you need to know to be the next big fashion blogger!  Thank me later, gals!

12 STEPS TO BECOMING A FASHION BLOGGER

1.  Pop your elbow or your knee. Or even better, both! It might feel a bit uncomfortable and weird, but trust me everyone will think you are so legit.  Hello fab!  (Oh, and never make a face like the one I'm making below.  Never.)

2.  Find a real photographer.  A self timer will only suffice for so long until people will realize you ain't the real deal.  You can't hide the stress that comes from running to your designated spot and trying to look cool as a cucumber in the picture.  People will see right through you!

3.  Wear bright lipstick.  Duh!  If your lips aren't bright red/ hot pink/ passionate purple you are so totally doing something wrong.

4.  If your budget is small, go to an expensive, gorgeous store (think Anthropologie or J. Crew) buy something, wear it for a picture, and then just take it back.  Everyone will think you're loaded AND that you've got mad style and you don't have to spend a cent! Win win!

5.  Try to stick your head out as much as possible for your pictures.  Your head may look a little big, but it's totally worth it because the rest of your body will look so little by comparison.  Everyone will think you're a skinny mini!  Take the picture below for example- my head: freakily huge and gross, right?  But my waist?  OMG it looks so skinny and cute I don't even care about how weird my head is!

6.  If you're feeling totally lost, remember these three things: polka dots, stripes, chevron.  You can't go wrong, my friend.  Nowdays anything goes (Hello, it's called pattern mixing!) so you can wear a striped top, a chevron skirt, and polka dot shoes.  You'll be getting compliments for daaaaaaaaaays!

7.  Don't wear sandals with socks.  Ever.  This isn't just a fashion blogging rule, but an overall life rule.  Break it and die.

8.  Don't wear white socks with dress shoes.  Don't wear socks with heels.  In fact, the only time you should wear socks is with sneakers.  And don't wear sneakers with a dress.  We all clear here?

9.  Maxi Maxi Maxi.  If you don't have at least three maxis in your closet, girl you shouldn't even be in the blogging world. Oh, and please don't jump for your pictures.  You'll look like a fool!

10.  Take pictures in the middle of the city.  No one will think it's weird when you stop for photos all by yourself and pose with your dainty little hand stroking your hair oh so gently. They'll think you're a celeb or even better, a model!

11.  If your makeup ain't looking too hot or you were up way too late, just throw a pair of sunglasses on and you're good to go.  The bigger your cute sunnies, the better.  No one will ever know that your face isn't at its best!  Way to trick the world!

12.  Never look directly at the camera.  It'll totally give you away.  It doesn't matter where you look, look anywhere except for directly at the dirty little lens!  If you want to look up at the sky like a possessed demon- go for it, girl!

12.  If all else fails, hide behind a big purse, a plant, or a dog.  We'll still be able to see part of your shirt and we'll just assume that you are a fabulous dresser!  Or even better, hide behind a cute boy!  We will all think you're cuter by association.  If you need to hire a cute boy try the mall.  Tell them you work for a talent agency or something and you'll have all the cute boys you need to take pictures with you in your oh so hot clothes!

Congrats!  You are now ready to be the next big fashion blogger!  Go take on the fashion world! 

For more of my unique and very smart wisdom you can check out  my post on how to do everything or how to be the next big blogging sensation that I wrote with my friend Tay Tay.  Of course, we're kidding in these posts.  Or are we?!?

Orientations: Killing the Human spirit since the dawn of time.

Well folks.  I'm back from my first day of orientation at my new school district and it is safe to say that orientations are the biggest hoax ever invented.  I mean, who here has ever learned one single thing at an orientation?  I went for five hours and the only thing useful that happened was I found out what my school email will be.  There was also motivational clips about how children are our future, a bunch of people I will never meet again telling me "their story" about why they chose to be teachers, (duh! Summers off!) and how we can't let kids be the missing link in our puzzle of life?  I know, I didn't get it either.  The only great thing that happened was I won a dollar from the credit union.  Five hours for one dollar... freak, ya'll I'm making twenty cents an hour now!  Welcome to the big time!

Today I've got some lovely bloggers strutting their stuff for you.  This month's group of bloggers is one of the most diverse I've ever had.  We've got travel blogs, fashion blogs, women power blogs, EVERYTHING!  I hope you find a few you like because these girls are really terrific.  Skim through and click over to a few (or ALL!) , I've included a few of my favorite posts on each of their blogs.  Happy Monday chicas!

P.S.  Tomorrow is the last chance to enter this giveaway.
P.P.S.  I absolutely loved the comments on yesterday's post.  Y'all are amazing.  And no, I'm not from the South. Ok thanks.

LIVING IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE

Don't read Amanda's blog unless you are ready for a case of serious travel envy.  She lives abroad so most of her posts are dedicated to traveling on a dime and fitting 9 days' worth of clothes into one backpack.  She's basically a miracle worker.  Her pictures will make you want to travel the world a hundred times over.  I love to travel and try hard to get one good vacation in a year... in the meantime, it is blogs like Amanda's that fill my wanderlust craving.  I especially loved her post about why she is the worst traveler ever, and her satire on how to be a tourist in Asia had me laughing out loud.

Twitter// Bloglovin

BEHIND THE CAMERA AND DREAMING

Stephanie doesn't call her blog "Behind the Camera" for nothing.  The moment you click on Stephanie's blog you will notice how beautiful her pictures are.  I'm a terrible enough photographer to notice a terrific one when I see one.  My heart melted when I saw this post about little boys taking a bath on the patio- it made me want to have kids right this second just so I can bathe them outside.  I also loved her review of one of my favorite books I read this year, The Happiness Project.  Oh, and Stephanie's blog design is seriously gorgeous.  Who are you guys all getting to design your blogs?!?  I swear, they get prettier and prettier.

Blog// Facebook

AKIRAH ROBINSON

Akirah's blog is totally unique and so beautiful.  She subtitles it "Believing in Women and our Brave Hearts."  In her "About" section Akirah states that she was in an abusive relationship for four years until she realized that her "heart was brave."  I love this and I love the sense of love and empowerment that comes from her blog.  She is unafraid to talk about tough issues and stand up for women.  Some of my favorite posts are The Number One Rule on Dating (It's not what you think) and How to Talk to your Friend about her Not Awesome Relationship.  This is the type of blog I could read for hours as the writing is quality and the content is fascinating and motivating.

Blog// Twitter

KATY GOES BOOM

I love Whitney's blog because she is one of those people who is not afraid to say what is on her mind and say it proud.  I have a feeling that if we were friends I would take her everywhere just to tell people off for me.  She's sassy and blunt and makes no apologies.  I couldn't help but laugh at her post about "How to Properly Judge: A Hater's Guide"- basically about how to decide if you are going to stop reading a blog.  On a more serious note, she talks about the difficulties of moving on from a relationship and healing in this post.  Whitney, you can come hang out with me anytime- I have a feeling we'd do just fine together!

Blog// Twitter

QUIRKY PICKINGS

Jenn is one of the most sincere and heartfelt bloggers out there.  She lays it all on the table, not trying to cover up anything.  She is also extremely generous with her readers- she does constant giveaways out of her own pocket.  When I asked her why she does this, she replied she wants to do something good and she knows how much she loves opening something up in the mail, so she sends something in the mail to others.  I don't think many bloggers as this sincere in their giveaways!  (This giveaway has low entries so far so make sure to enter!)  My most recent fave of hers is her post on numbers and how certain numbers evoke certain memories and emotions.  Her writing is honest and witty.

Blog// Twitter

MY SWEET NOMSA

Ashlee creates jewelry and hair accessories for a living.  I am seriously coveting some of her earrings- she is so creative with her art.  (Shop found here.)  I'm not creative at all, so I love visiting blogs of creative, smart people like Ashlee.  She also does a lot of knitting and she posts her finished projects on her blog- I would kill for one of the beanies that she makes.  I loved this "Currently" post- it has totally motivated me to get my butt in gear.

Blog// Facebook

P.S. MY NAME IS MADELINE

I feel like Madeline's blog is a representation of blogging in its purest form.  There are no tutorials, no giveaways, no free clothing, just her writing and being honest with herself and her readers.  Reading her blog is almost like picking up the journal of a total stranger and realizing two pages in, "Hey!  I really like this girl!".  I found myself totally immersed in her post about her trip to England and I loved this post where she just rambles but still manages to be totally entertaining.

Blog// Instagram

THE WILDFLOWER WAY

Lesleigh has got a little bit of everything in her blog.  From hair product reviews to snazzing up a fancy dress to contemplations on what it means to have a soul mate, she's got it all.  I found myself very engaged in her post about what it means to be a woman.  The word obviously is very weighted, and I loved Lesleigh's take on it.  She doesn't post every day, but when she does it is always something worth reading and she'll definitely make your mind start ticking.

Blog// Facebook

If you accept sponsors on your blog: The customer is always right?

About a year ago I wrote this post on sponsoring blogs.  I had been sponsoring for about six months and I had figured out a thing or two.  Now, with another year of sponsoring under my belt I have learned even more.  Unfortunately, a lot that I have learned about how to be a good blog to sponsor I have learned through negative experiences sponsoring other blogs.  I figure now would be a good time to share it with y'all so that A. it doesn't happen to you and B. you yourself don't do these things.  Ready?

A GOOD BLOG TO SPONSOR DOES THE FOLLOWING:

1.  A good blog to sponsor treats their blog like a business.  This means if they say they are going to post five times a week, they have to post five times a week.  If they tell you a post is going up on a certain day, it needs to go up on that day.  If there are changes, they need to let sponsors know.  I map out the beginning of my month all my sponsored post.  I know what days are the guest posts, what days are the giveaways and what days are the group posts.  Then I email all my sponsors and let them know.  If I have to make changes to the calendar, I email all sponsors before the change happens.  It's a business and the people sponsoring my blogs are my customers.

2. A good blog to sponsor offers refunds.  Some may disagree with me on this one and I'm interested to hear what you think.  If you are extremely disappointed with a blog sponsorship would you ask for a refund?  What if you weren't given everything in the package that you were promised?  If your button wasn't put up on time, if the post wasn't put up the day it was promised, if you felt you had been lied to about numbers?  What constitutes for asking for a refund?

To me, asking for a refund is nothing.  I take lots of things back to the store.  The watermelon wasn't ripe, the toy broke after two days, the hemline on the skirt was shoddy.  Take it back!  Exchange it.  If the whole store is pot, just get my money back and be done with it! I think this should be the same with sponsorships.  If you are going to offer ad space and accept money for it on your blog, than you need to accept responsibility if people are unhappy and be accountable when you mess up.

Out of the 30+ blogs I have sponsored, there have been two times when I have asked for a refund.  One time I felt that I was purposely lied to about the numbers.  The day my guest post went up I got 26 hits from that blog even though I had been told that the blogger's traffic was up to 100,000 pageviews a month.  I felt that the blogger had been dishonest about pageviews so I asked for a 50% refund.  She said no. I dropped it.

Another time the giveaway I was participating in didn't go up the day the blogged had said.  I was counting on the giveaway for traffic and posted something special that day to catch new traffic.  The post didn't go up and no word from the blogger.  A few days later, when I had a guest post on my blog, the giveaway randomly went up.  I felt that I couldn't take full advantage of the giveaway because I didn't know the day it went up.  In addition to this, traffic from the blogger's site was extremely low as the blogger didn't post as frequently as normal because it was a very busy that month and there were many stressful things going on with her family.  While I certainly am sympathetic to the situation, I didn't believe I should have to pay full price if she wasn't able to give the sponsorship her full attention.  I told her my concerns and asked for a 50% refund.  She complied, but followed it up with a rude email saying that I had walked all over her.

Both experiences with these bloggers bothered me a bit.  They both replied to me that low traffic was not their fault, and that I take a "risk" when I sponsor a blog and basically I need to deal with the consequences.  While I certainly agree that what traffic comes to my site isn't completely their responsibility, they have made it partly their responsibility by accepting my money.  The blog is now a business, and part of that should be keeping me happy, right?

I suppose this is where I have a bit of a problem doing business with bloggers and small business owners (i.e. Etsy).  You ask for a refund and the way they react you'd think you threatened to kill their whole family.  They can get so defensive and mean.  I feel like yelling to them, "Hey!  It's not that big of a deal, girl.  I still like you!  It's just you sold me a product, I was not satisfied with the product, and now I would like some of the money back that I gave you.  No biggie!"  Businesses understand this.  Wal-mart certainly doesn't get all up in arms when I take back their pants that don't fit.  Neither should a blogger.

I have had a handful of times when sponsors have told me they weren't happy with sponsorship.  In July, I completely spaced putting Jenn's name down as my feature sponsor.  Consequently, I didn't put her ad up.  Halfway into the month she asked me where her sidebar ad was.  When I realized what I had done, I apologized and said I would put it right up.  She said she wanted a refund and I should take better care of her money. I agreed and said I would be happy to give her 100% refund or two months of free ad space, whichever she preferred.  She was much kinder to me in the next email, we worked out a compromise that made us both happy, and we are on great "blogging terms" now.  Anytime a sponsor has complained to me I have offered a refund or free ads.  To me that's just good business.  No need to get offended or defensive, just admit wrong and try to fix the situation.

This month I had one of the best sponsoring experiences with Heather from Just Love.ly.  She has a huge readership, but I wasn't getting views from her site.  She told me straight up how many people were clicking over to my blog versus how many people normally click over on the blogs.  My number was very low.  She explained to me that she didn't think our styles match up. She focuses on DIY and beautiful homes and recipes.  I focus mainly on making fun of seventeen year old hoodlums.  We didn't match.

I was floored when she apologized for the traffic and told me she would offer me a 75% refund.  I didn't even ask her, she just offered it.  To me, this is excellent business.  Not only was I happy, but now I am eager to recommend her blog to others and will certainly recommend sponsoring her to those who have similar blogs to hers.  This is a woman you want to do business with.

3.  A good blog to sponsor tells you their monthly pageviews.  When it all comes down to it, this is the only number that matters.  Twitter followers, GFC followers, Bloglovin, etc is all useful only in that it should contribute to your monthly pageviews.  Some tell you their pageviews right out on their sponsor page,  but some don't.  If they don't, I ask them straight up.  You'd be surprised how many bloggers have 4,000+ GFC followers but aren't even getting 20,000 monthly pageviews. The big giveaways that took over our blogosphere there for a minute greatly inflated "follower" numbers and quite frankly, now they can't be trusted.  Ask monthly pageviews to really get a good idea of how many eyes will see your post.

4.  A good blog to sponsor tells you the day your post is going to go up.  As soon as I have paid my money, I want to know what date the guest post or giveaway will be.  I have had sponsors tell me before just to send the post and then they'll fit it in whenever works for them.  Nope.  Give me a date and I will send the post before the deadline.  I like to know when the post will go up and know that that day has been set aside for me.

5.  A good blog to sponsor is not shady.  I suppose this could go a lot of different ways.  I get that the term "shady" is totally vague, but I can't think of a better word.  Just be upfront.  Don't lie.  Return emails on time.  Explain exactly what a sponsor is getting.  If you say "social media love" then what does that mean?  Do you #ff them with a group of a bunch of other bloggers?  Or do you link to a specific post of theirs three times a month?  Because those are very different things.  I feel like with sponsorship, the vaguer a blogger is, the shadier a blogger is.  What time will the post go up?  Don't post a guest post at 3 in the afternoon.  Post it early in the morning.  I was pretty frustrated this spring when I paid for a guest post and waited all morning to see traffic coming from that blog.  It didn't come and it didn't come and it didn't come.  Finally, at noon, the blogger put my guest post up.  At 2:00, there was another sponsored post up.  She gave me two measly hours and I paid for a full priced sponsorship.

I would say that most people when they are doing a guest post on your blog expect the post to be up for 24 hours or close to that.  This month I have been emailing Jenni about doing a guest post.  She said she would be happy to let me BUT there would be a high possibility that there would be two posts that day.  She couldn't guarantee me 24 hours.  I respect this so much.  Instead of just taking my money and then posting two or three sponsored posts that day without letting me know, Jenni was upfront about it and told me exactly what the jig would be.

As I'm finishing this post, I realize it sounds a bit more bitter and negative than I meant it to. I'm sorry. This wasn't my intention. I just think that bloggers who operate this way with their sponsorship need to stop.  I think they need to be called out on it.  Sadly, there are  bloggers out there who are just all about making a buck.  They have discovered the wonderful fact that their "little corner of the web" can bring them in a pretty penny and their minds start racing.  I don't think they're evil in their intentions, I just think they get a bit carried away when they realize how much money they can make and I think us, as fellow bloggers, need to tell them to cut it out and treat the customer right!

And wow.  What a rant!  Excuse me, it's my grumpy time of month.

Peace.  Love.  Sleep.

It's the end of the summer as we know it!

It's Saturday, folks!  Time to just write whatever I want to write and you can't stop me!

Today marks my last official day of summer as I go back to work on Monday.  I am trying to think of something super fun and crazy to do today so I can go out with a bang.  But nothing is coming.  I suppose I'll write a post and go to the gym and fold some laundry and buy a few groceries.  You know, normal Saturday stuff.  Maybe I'll get real wild and try to sell some books to the used book store, now that's spicy!  Greg and I are going out to dinner and a movie tonight so that will be good enough for me.  Maybe I'll talk my sister into playing some tennis with me.

End of summer means time to look at the goals I made at the beginning of summer.  The original goals posted at the end of April are in black, and then the italic red is my assessment of them.  Anything that is crossed out is what I actually did.  It may be a bit painful...

READ.  Read a book a week.  That means 16 books from May to August.  On the list are:

1.  Silver Linings Playbook (May's blog book club selection)
2.  Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian (Reread. Young Adult- Banned Book club selection for May)
3.  Seriously, I'm Kidding (June's blog book club)
4.  The Help (Reread. July's blog book club)
5.  Life of Pi (August's blog book club) Currently reading
6.  Speak (Re read. Young Adult fiction- my seniors are reading this in May)
7.  The Happiness Project (Memoir/ Self Help- so interested in this book!)
8.  Autobiography of Malcolm X.  I've heard it's fascinating.
9.  Fast Food Nation (Non fiction.)
10.  Bird by Bird (Anne Lamott book on writing)  Started, but then had to return it to the library before I finished.  Will finish as soon as I get through the line at the library again.
11.  Z (Book about Zelda Fitzgerald- wife of The Great Gatsby author.  I just finished The Paris Wife about Ernest Hemingway's first wife and absolutely loved it.)  Checked out from the library, never got around to reading it.  Will read once I get through the library line again.
12.  Lolita (Heard it's weird, but feel like I need to read it.)
13.  Slaughterhouse Five. (Reread)
14.  Something by Hemingway... Possibly The Sun Also Rises.
15.  ???
16.  ???

Assessment:  I only completed 5 of the books on the list.  I did also read, however Sarah's Quilt, House on Mango Street, The Bean Tree, and Confessions of a Shopaholic, bringing my total of completed books up to nine.  I am about halfway through Life of Pi and Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter so I am hoping by the end of August to have finished at least 11 books, possibly 12.  Not quite the anticipated 16, but not terribly either.

WRITE.  I want to keep up with my schedule now of blogging five times a week.  I need to do more than just post on this blog, though.  I need to submit articles and guest posts to some of the big sites.  I would absolutely love to write for Babble, but first I would need to pitch some kind of amazing article idea to them. I'm drawing blanks.  I know there are plenty of places that pay for articles- I need to start submitting mine.  I am hoping summer will be a good time to really get my writing into gear.

Assessment:  I blogged five to six times this summer, but I didn't exactly put the petal to the metal like I had hoped to.  The problem is most people blog less in the summer, not more.  Readership was down, post ideas were down, and I just felt in an overall slump.  I thought I would be spending four or five hours every day on my blog and the reality was it was often all I could do to get the minimum post up.  I didn't pitch to Babble like I had wanted to, but I still plan to do this.  I did pitch guest posts about dealing with the loss of a parent to a couple of really big blogs that don't normally accept sponsorships.  I heard nothing back. Boo.  I did start a Summer link up (Throwback Thursdays) and organized a $1000 giveaway that has helped increase traffic and numbers.  Not a complete fail, but not a complete win either.

CAMP.  Go on at least one old school camping trip.  Tent and all.

Assessment:  This one is still on my to do list.  Don't know if it will happen as I told Greg I really want to go camping before the weather turns cool and he replied he kinda hates camping in tents. Boo.

GO ON A VACATION.  We've got tickets booked to Hawaii for the last week of June with Greg's family.  It'll cost us a couple of pennies, but what's the point of working every day if you don't have stuff like this to look forward to?

Finally!  Something I can check off!  Sure, we lost $1,100 on the way, but we still enjoyed a great vacation as seen here and here.

GET A TEACHING JOB IN CALIFORNIA   or...  ACCEPT THAT GOD MAY HAVE OTHER PLANS FOR ME AND BE OK IF I DON'T FIND A JOB.  The truth is that the job search for teaching positions in California is getting oh, so frustrating.  I have applied for 17 jobs (I'm a nerd and I write down every job I apply for) and haven't heard back from one of them.  It's a lesson in humility, a lesson in patience, a lesson in all sorts of things I don't have that God wants me to have.  I am trying my best to have faith and understand that God will watch and protect if I am doing everything I'm supposed to be doing.  He has a plan for us, even if I can't see it or understand it right now.

I sure didn't find a job in California, but I did comply with the "Accept that God may have other plans for me" part of this deal.  Greg I are certainly didn't see ourselves sticking around Utah, but for right now it feels like a perfect fit to us.  We're still not totally sure what the future holds for us but we're young and in love and the rest is just details.  In the meantime, I found a job at a high school that is closer to us and Greg is working with people with disabilities.  We're happy.

SERVE.  I used to be more giving of my time.  Now I am so selfish with it.  So utterly possessive of every minute I have.  I would like to start giving more time to others.  I used to volunteer with special needs kids for an hour a week, and although it certainly wasn't much, I felt like that one hour kept my life a little more balanced.  I need that in my life.

I feel like I totally failed on this one.  I did watch my brother's kid (the girl in the pictures at the top) a few days this summer and I gave the guys that fixed my tires some cheesecake bites.  Does that count?

GET GOOD AT TENNIS.  Last year I took beginning tennis lessons.  This summer I'm moving on to intermediate.  Greg beats me every time we play.  By the end of the summer it will be different.

This week I finally finally beat Greg in tennis.  Given, it was 6-5, but still, I'll take it!  I took intermediate lessons in June but had to miss about half of the lessons due to Hawaii and other things that got in the way.  I tried to sign up again in both July and August but the classes were cancelled.  Boo Orem Rec!  I try to play at least twice a week, but it can be hard to find people to play with me.

SAVE.   I don't want to work at a crappy restaurant or paint hot apartments all day like I did in summers' past, but I do want to pick up extra money and save for our big move.  The fact that I don't have a job secured yet has me a bit stressed about our financial situation.  We have saved and been smart with our money, but I am still hoping to pick up some extra work and put extra money away.  Anybody got any ideas of enjoyable part time summer work?

This one I can only half check off.  Or maybe quarter check off? I did get a job, was totally misled about what it would be, and quit after the first day.  With our scam situation we definitely didn't manage to put away as much money as I hoped, but we still saved a bit and are in a pretty comfortable position for the coming year, especially with both of us working and saving money this year.

SLEEP OUT ON THE TRAMPOLINE.  At least once.  It's summer!

Boom.  Done.  Picture to prove it.

Don't mind Greg, he just looks like a possessed demon is all.


LAUGH.  I guess the absolute truth is I am a little bit scared of summer.  Last summer was the most trying time of mine and Greg's marriage, and I am dreading a repeat.  The extra time in the summer makes me stir crazy.  Not having to go to work is awesome for about three weeks, but then I start to feel unproductive and grouchy and lazy.  I get cranky when I don't go to work.  Ain't that weird?  I am hoping to stay busy and productive this summer, but also to have fun and let myself relax too.  I want to go to the water park and watch movies late at night and play on the lawn with my nieces and nephews and just have a carefree summer like back in the day.  Is it possible?

This one I can check off a hundred times over.  This was the most fun summer I can remember for years.  Not having a job allowed me to be completely free with my time.  I was able to see lots of friends, go on vacation, play tennis to my heart's content, and even stay on top of stuff like keeping the house clean, blogging, and reading books.  I feel like Greg and I got so much closer this summer.  We have learned a lot in our 2 1/2 years of marriage, one thing being how to not kill each other when we have lots of time together.  Bring on Summer 2014!

And last but not least....

MOVE TO CALIFORNIA.  Boom, baby.

How about move to Lehi?  That we can do.

It's fun to look back over the goals for summer and see the anticipated summer versus the real summer.  It certainly didn't turn out totally like I planned, and God had a few lessons for us to learn along the way, but I love it as it is.  This summer will hold sweet memories for me, from tromping the beaches of Hawaii with my beau to playing Ticket to Ride with my mom on Sunday nights to finally learning how to pick out a decent watermelon.  It has been one for the books, no doubt.  I'm so grateful for the beauty and freedom of summer, but am ready for the next adventure in my life.  Ready for a new school, a new home, and who knows what other surprises are in store for us.

Interestingly enough, one of my favorite things this summer has been to be able to come to this space on Saturdays and just write whatever is on my heart.  It has felt so liberating and genuine and has made me fall in love again with blogging.  It occurred to me that this might not just be good for me, but all bloggers.  So I'm turning this into a link up.  A day to just write whatever you want.  You don't have to do it on Saturdays either, you can do it whenever you want.  After I created this button I realized it was a play on words and then I felt like a freaking genius.

So link up!  If you'd be so kind to include the button on your post when you link that would be awesome.  If not, it's all good.

For your weekend reading:

+ I got in some hot water a year ago for admitting I don't always put my shopping cart back in the corral.  Commenters ate me up!
+ I had a reader ask me if I had ever written anything about how to balance a full time job and a blog.  Why, yes, I have!
+ Examining why people cheat on their significant others.
+ If you haven't entered this $1000 giveaway yet, DO!  Anyone can win and it's so easy to enter.  Winner will be announced Wednesday.

Four days

Doing what I do best- scaring little children.

It's 9:02 and almost completely dark outside.  A sure sign that fall is on its way.  August is in full swing- gone are the days of June when it was dark until almost 10:00.  We're losing a little bit of daylight each day and slowly but surely, summer is coming to a close.

The weather has been high 80s and low 90s, a ten degree difference to what it was a month ago.  Only ten degrees, but ten degrees that certainly speaks of approaching fall.

I go back to work on Monday. What was once ten weeks of vacation has dwindled down to four days in the blink of an eye.  I thought I went back to school on Tuesday and I just found out it's Monday and somehow that one extra day out of my summer feels monstrous.  What was once four more days of freedom is only three and it's all ending so very soon.  All next week is orientation, meetings and classroom set up and then BAM, Monday the 19th rolls around and I'll have students flooding into my classroom with their new sneakers and backpacks, writing horny love notes to each other, and wondering who in the world am I to teach them jack squat about literature?

In some ways I'm ready.  Ready to wake up at 6 am and have long, productive mornings. Ready to meet new kids and and grade papers and watch as The Great Gatsby comes alive in front of my students.

In other ways I'm not ready.  Not ready to go to bed early, not ready to be done with vacations, not ready for the snow that always certainly inevitably comes.

I suppose now I'm going to go lie in bed with Greg and eat popcorn and diet coke while we watch movies on Netflix to our heart's content.  I'll stay up as late as I can so I can sleep in as late as I want because in three days there won't be any such freedom.  I wonder if this is how it feels days before you deliver your first baby?

In case any of you haven't gone on your summer vacation yet, here's a couple of words of advice- especially terrific if you are traveling in Europe.  I'm definitely not.  Not this summer at least.

P.S.  Make sure to enter the $1,000 giveaway if you haven't yet.  It's super easy to enter and you don't even have to have a blog.

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Holiday checklist: top things to think about before you go away

Holidays are supposed to offer a well-deserved rest, but the stress of arranging one can make a break more necessary than ever. To make your life easier, here are some key tasks that are best remembered before heading off for a break

Insurance

It might be tempting to join the 1.5m Brits who travel without insurance, but skipping this additional cost may be more expensive in the long run. Shop around and find a policy that will provide sufficient cover without charging you for inessentials. Money expert Martin Lewis recommends a policy with a minimum cover of £2m for medical expenses, £750 for baggage (unless yours is worth more) and cancellation cover for the cost of your holiday. This might seem like unnecessary hassle, but the stress and money you could save are priceless.

Money

It can be easy to overlook something we use without thinking, but don’t leave this to the last minute. Shop around for the best rates, and remember to check what you can get for your money in your holiday destination: is food going to be cheaper, or will you have to factor in more than you would at home? This extra research will make it easier to stick to a budget while you’re away.

Pets

If you can’t find a pet-loving friend to look after your animals, ask your vet to recommend a good kennel. Make sure you visit beforehand, and inquire about their experience and facilities. If you’re going away for a while, check your pet in for a weekend before you leave. This will get you and them used to the idea that they will be safe while staying away. The thought of a stranger looking after your pet might seem unsettling, but kennel staff are professionals who love animals, so who better to care for them if you can’t?

Holiday wardrobe

With everything else on your mind, it can be easy to forget the fun part of packing: your holiday wardrobe! If you’re busy running from the travel agents to the kennels, you can still make sure you’ll have the latest looks by home shopping with isme. You’ve got everything else covered, so don your kaftan, add a pair of shades and enjoy your well-deserved rest.