The Life of Bon: High School and Blogging: One and the same?

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

High School and Blogging: One and the same?



As some of you might know, I spend the waking hours of 7-3 crammed in a classroom with forty pubescent hormonal seventeen year olds.

High school.

Strangely enough, I quite like it. It is fun to be in high school, but not be in high school at the same time. To be closely involved with all the excitement of youth, but to still be an outsider, not involved in the drama, the tears, the endless switching up of boyfriends.

The other day I received an email about something that had happened in the blogging world and as I read it I thought, "Oh my goodness, this sounds just like the crap I have to deal with all day at high school."

Bing.  The light bulb went off.  A post was born.
And so, I present to you:

HOW BLOGGING IS LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
by The Life of Bon
October 2, 2012
4th period

1.  Everybody rambles on and on about how great their boyfriends are.  Only now those boyfriends have converted themselves into husbands.  I get real sick of hearing my 16 year old students go on and on about how fabulous their boyfriends are.  I also get sick of bloggers talking about how great their husbands are.  Before you all jump all over me I will say that I have also been guilty of doing this.  Heck, I love Hubs as much as the next woman loves her husband.  I guess what starts to bother me is when I feel like bloggers are being competitive in their love for their husbands, almost as if they are saying, "I love my husband more than you love your husband."  Can we all just admit that yes, our husbands are great, but they can also be real stinkers sometimes!

2.  You better look cute, darn it!  The clothes conscious/ fashion conscious/ everybody is lookin at me mentality of high school also exists in the blogging world.  Never since high school have I cared so much about what I wore as when I started blogging prolificly.  All of a sudden I felt like I had to have more clothes, cuter jewelry, and the most expensive of everything.  Since when did I even care about this stuff as long as my hair was combed and I didn't smell.  Sheesh!  I was joking with my friend Jennie about a blogger meet up that we are going to this week and we joked about how we must be wearing skinny jeans or colored tights or thrifted shirts or surely we'd get thrown out on our butts.  Image is everything in high school.  Image is everything in blogging.  Oh, how the worlds collide!

3.  It is a popularity contest.

If you don't know this girl, then congratulations, you have not yet been fully sucked into the popularity contest that is blogging.  Blogging is all about getting lots of people to know who you are, even if you don't actually know those people back.  You don't even have to really be nice to them,(Yes, I am harboring a grudge for those "popular" bloggers who don't think they have to respond to my emails) you just have to get them to know that you are a big shot.  Oh... blogging.

4.  People think they can super rude things they would never get away with anywhere else in the world.  I always like to tease about the reader who called me "bean paste" when I admitted I had parked in a handicapped stall.  But all kidding aside, seriously?  SERIOUSLY?  Where do you get the nerve thinking you can say that to another human being?  I had one person comment a couple of months ago that she loved reading my blog every day so she could sit behind her computer screen and laugh at my ignorance.  Um.. okay?  What is the point of telling me that?  When I wrote my post on risky writing I received this comment from Lauren:

I grew up in a family where you didn't talk religion, politics, money, etc...so it has always been very hard for me to address those controversial subjects. Heck we even kept our private lives private when anything wasn't going our way. Blogging has opened a whole new world to me of being able to be open about my life. I still haven't written about my wedding (because as great as it was there are some secrets there) but I have written about my sister's cancer.

But the worst thing so far for me was that I was begged by a blogger to do a guest post about how God has shown me something. It was a hard post for me to write (because I am just learning to talk about those hard things) and I wrote it and gave it to her. She said it was great...but forgot to post it for 2 weeks in favor of link ups to gain more followers.

When she finally posted it, people commented saying that I was the scum of the earth and ungodly. So she said she had to take it down.  It hurt so much because I was proud of the post. I am hoping one day I have the bravery to post that post on my own blog, but I love how you are free from risks here on your blog and will continue to be an avid reader of your blog everyday


These kinds of comments break my heart.  What is with people saying mean things?  Sometimes blogging reminds me of the movie Mean Girls all grown up.  We are all adults here and the online blogging bullying has honestly has got to stop and now I feel like I am giving a lecture to my 16 years old, but seriously, stop!  No more hate comments! 

Wow, I got a little carried away with that one.  My bad!

5.  There are cliques.  Lots of cliques.  In my high school there are the jocks, the cheerleaders, the studious Mormons, the band geeks, the drama club, the gothics.  Everyone has got their little clique and they don't like to venture out much.  Thus it is with bloggging.  Have you noticed that there are certain bloggers who are always giving shout outs to each other, linking up with each other, and constantly tweeting each other.  I think that's great.  Interestingly enough I've met some really cool friends from blogging.  But I also think you gotta reach outside your comfort zone.  Don't exclude others in your love for some.  Like my mama always told me in high school, "Bonnie!  Don't be cliquey!"

6.  Some awkward standing around at parties is involved.   Remember high school when you would go to parties and try to look really cool and hip and do your darndest to fit in and make everyone believe you are having a rip roaring good time?  Totally reminds me awkward blogger meetups I have attended.  Not because the meetups were crummy, but because I am an awkward person.  In the picture below I do, in fact, look like I am having a blast.  I am, in fact, feeling quite awkward.



Well chicas, that wraps up my ever so informative comparison essay of blogging and high school.  I realize that, like high school, it is probably nothing more than a bunch of fluff mingled with very little education.

50 comments:

  1. The thing that bothered me the most about high school girls wasn't bragging about their boyfriends (that was probably second) it was girls whining about not having a boyfriend. No matter how many times I pointed out that I was single for EVERY Valentine's Day until I was 25 they still cried to me about it.

    Okay that doesn't relate to blogging at all. . .

    But I totally get the clicky thing with blogging. There are so many bloggers I'd like to get to know better but its like I'm not cool enough or something! Oh well, if I've learned anything about life from teaching high school its to not take these things too seriously. :)

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  2. As always, love your posts! Even when you're being real and straightforward, you manage to insert some humor into your writing.

    P.S. I think you meant to write cliques...

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  3. You are spot on. Great post!

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  4. All of these are so true! And somehow, I still find myself seeking the approval of my husband's high school students. Between blogging and real life, sometimes it's too much.

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  5. Oh my goodness. I absolutely love this post. Everything you said is so true. I have a small (but SLOWLY growing) blog, but sometimes I feel like it will never be a huge success because I don't "fit" in with the popular blogs. I do know, that I would never get "so big" as to not respond to emails or to stay "clicky" with certain bloggers once I made it to the top. I hated high school for all these reasons. But I love blogging! THANK YOU for this post! I don't feel alone! :)

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  6. I totally and completely agree with everything you have said. I have actually been thinking the same thing for a bit. I have also found-as far as cliques- that some bloggers who have many followers only want to befriend and promote other bloggers who have 164165123 followers. It is so crazy to me because we all started out having zero.

    AND AH about the husbands! I actually laughed out lous about how true it is!! If i click on one more blog and see 'our love story' page i might actually vomit! I love love don't get me wrong but literally it's all some people talk about and it is literally like who can be cuter/more romantic blah blah. Sick.

    Anywhoos LOVED the post today
    and to sum up this comment all i can say is

    AMEN SISTER, AMEN

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  7. How true this is!

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  8. Lol! As both a high school teacher and awkward blogger I totally appreciate this post! It's so true! Although I do appreciate outfit posts (which I never do) bc I feel like it gives me an idea of how to dress like a grownup and some ppl consider these things important. Lol.

    Now it's bed time! Too late for a school night!

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  9. This is so true!! Great post! I agree with it all!!! I don't believe in being mean in comments, if you don't agree, stop reading and move to the next post.

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  10. Thank you, Bonnie! You have expressed what I feel. My blog is small and not a lot of followers. I remind myself constantly that is ok, I am blogging for me, to document my kids, and my life right now. Sure, I love hearing from others, thinking that they like me, but I need to remember that it is only what God and my family thinks about me that counts. :)

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  11. This is fantastic! I'm sure all bloggers can relate to this one. I've seen a lot of articles online lately about people being awful to each other on Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. It's sad to see people be so awful to someone over the Internet when they would probably never treat someone like that face to face. Anyway, great post. Thanks for sharing.

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  12. I began realizing how uncomfortable it was to blog last year when I tried making friends to hang out with via blogging (most of my college friends had moved away). I realized people only wanted to hang out with me if I would take photos of them for their blog and do things...to put on a blog. I'm fine with doing things worthy of being on a blog, but it felt really superficial to me.

    I'm with you on the rude/cyber bully thing. Granted, I think it is different to disagree kindly someone. I've had people disagree with things on my blog, but they've done it in a tactful way and I have respected that.

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  13. This is great and completely true. I love how you pointed out all the negative sides of blogging and made it finny. It makes the not-so happy parts of highschool funny.

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  14. I could write for days about how much I love you post. It does feel like a popularity contest for use. All the pretty bloggers with the super cool life and hot outfits. Everyone has the picture perfect marriage and family life. No one ever write about wanting to suffocate their husbands or such, which is one reason I started blogging. I wanted to be raw and honest and trust me those posts are going to come at some point lol

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  15. I absolutely love this post. I've been feeling down about blogging lately, for all of the reasons you listed... the cliques, the negativity, etc. I'm glad I'm not the only person feeling that way!! Thanks for sharing this with us.

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  16. Such a great post! I have to totally agree with you, blogging and high school are eerily similar.

    My heart broke for Lauren! I am so sad to hear that someone would ask her to guest post and then take it down.

    Lauren, if you're reading this. I would love to put your guest post up on my blog! I wouldn't take it down just because others disagree. (Email me if you are interested! MrsN09@yahoo.com)

    I sparkly heart your blog and all of its content! Way to always remain true to yourself!


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  17. This post is brilliant!

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  18. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this! As a relatively new blogger I thought I was the only one who felt these things or that maybe I just "didn't get it" yet. Especially the husband loving competition thing..what the heck IS that? I was feeling so bad that I posted something a few posts back about wanting to punch him in the face sometimes....but I was just being honest and I'm glad I was. This is such a great reminder to stay true to who you are in your posts and try not to fall into the trap of posting just to attract followers. I needed that. Word.

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  19. I agree with the popularity contest stuff. One other thing to add is that people can be really nasty and judgemental to "mom bloggers" i haven't experienced this myself as I dont have any kids, but knowing how hard it is for my cousins/friends to get through a day without going crazy I think "why would you be so judgemental about someone who is openning up their life and thoughts for you"? Obviously everyone parents differently. If you don't like how they do it, stop reading!

    To be fair though I disagree about Sydney Poulton. I find her really funny. Sometimes I catch myself having negative thoughts about myself when reading "cute/trendy" blogs (including hers) but I have to remind myself that they are real people who have hang ups too. I would appreciate if those bloggers wrote a bit more about the tough times though- just to make it a bit more balanced.

    I really appreciate that you write about risky subjects. Keep it up! I'll still be here reading!

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  20. well i will choose not to be offended that the only two blogger meetups i have ever planned are the two you mention here (one pictured and one linked :P) haha :)

    love the comparison though :)
    i've concluded i have no drama in my married life and so i get ti through blogging - there always seems to be some story about someone doign something mean or bad or crazy.

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  21. I love everything about this post! It's everything I've ever thought about in my head but never said out loud...or typed on my blog! Hah!

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  22. So true. I hate the 'I'll follow you if you follow me...'- it's like they're the freaking Pied Piper! How about 'I'll follow you because I find some value in the stuff you're writing'. I wonder with the 'uber bloggers' how many would feel empty if the blogging world crashed and burned tomorrow? Where for many of us, we blog about life and don't just live to blog. Phew. Rant over.Rx

    http://sandersonsmithstory.blogspot.co.uk/

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  23. Jennie is totally my cousin! I feel famous for knowing someone that was posted about.

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  24. Useful information ..I am very happy to read this article..thanks for giving us this useful information. Fantastic walk-through. I appreciate this post. human growth hormone

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  25. Love this post. Especially the husband one. Sometimes I feel like I'm a freak because I'm not married yet and don't have one of those love stories pages on my blog. Blogging is just like high school. I have this theory that no where in your life do you bet escape high school, which is sad because I was not a fan of high school!
    Keep up the awesome writing. You are hilarious!

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  26. Well, I don't know who the girl is you pictured as the "popular" blogger, so I guess I'm still more on the outside than I thought. I have definitely noticed proliferation of really nice material goods in the blog world...something that prompted me to write recently about how my husband and I choose to live on one income and just not have much stuff--I was feeling like, maybe there was someone out there like me who needed to know that not everyone has iphones and goes on disney cruises.

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  27. Haha, I always love reading your posts. :)

    So... this one. Yeeeeah. I started blogging about 10 years ago, hopping around various sites like DiaryLand & LiveJournal before purchasing my own domain/hosting where I used Greymatter. You know what? Those were the good old days of blogging. You linked who you liked, end of story. People were less about posting all that was right in their world, not as concerned about painting a pretty picture for the internet. Rather, they used it as an actual online platform on which they would share their real stories. Ranting about a crappy day with all of the profanities they could muster were just as common as their life's triumphs, and I loved reading about those people whose stories were real life.

    Maybe I'm just finding myself in the wrong mix here lately because I sometimes find myself holding back when I blog. So many delicate girls in the blog world writing about their day at church functions and their fluffy bunny DIY projects, and here I am, jeans & t-shirt girl, seemingly in some dark corner of the intarwebs laughing about some off color joke while feeling guilty (not really) about how drunk I got and other shenanigans. Oh well, I've got no regrets. To each her own.

    Thanks for keeping it real, Bon. :)

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  28. I love this post. I still get the same annoying feelings when I browse through twitter and see that people have responded to what seems like every "cool person's" tweet and left mine unnoticed lol Clearly we all have some issues!!

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  29. I knew I was about to read this entire post when I read the title. It's weird that blogging is like high school in a way. Considering I'm pretty new to this, I haven't really experienced it that much. But with some blogs, I catch myself "palm to forehead and shaking my head and asking Really?" I just don't get it sometimes.

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  30. I love this post. Honesty is indeed refreshing in the blogging world. Another thing I hate (although it doesn't relate to high school) is that I sometimes legitimately feel guilty or stressed about not getting a post up. Which is utterly ridiculous - hello, I have a real life that gets in the way sometimes. And when blogging becomes stressful (for any of the above reasons), it's not fun.

    And yes, rudeness for no reason is never okay. Ever. I have often wondered why people feel the need to say something negative instead of just clicking away from the page, never to return.

    There have been bloggers that I genuinely used to enjoy reading...and then they became "popular," and I swear, it's like the posts aren't even be written by the same person anymore.

    Anywho, this post is awesome. Makes me want to go visit the blogs of all the ladies who commented and said they agreed with you :)

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  31. Haha! Funny post! I don't think I've quite made it to the "cool" group in the blogging world ;)

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  32. it's all so true! competition kills contentment, too. I remind myself of that daily! thanks for sharing, Bonnie :)

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  33. So true, all your observations. And something "I" observed????? We are both "Blackburns" :)

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  34. Awesome post! It's really true! And by the way I have no idea who that blogger is in the picture. Haha don't worry I don't look cute all the time. Not even close.

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  35. Bahahaha. I am guilty of all of the above. No wonder I have been so grumpy about blogging. I HATED that stuff in high school. And by hated I mean, was usually somewhere right in the middle of it. What am I turning into!? a 17 year old again? Probably. I mean. I still feel like a child. So it works.

    I NEED MORE CLOTHES.
    But seriously. I do want more clothes.
    Stupid fashion bloggers.

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  36. totally agree with trying to dress better! i swear its blogging!! i see all these fashion posts and i look at the get-up im in and cringe! LOL
    and the whole popularity thing.... i couldn't agree more with it.

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  37. I feel the same way about blogging cliques and wish I knew how to break into some of the groups of higher up bloggers. You seem to be doing a great job though so keep it up :)

    P.S. Umm who is the chick in the picture. I have no idea who she is and now that's nagging me ROFL.

    ~Cassie~
    www.southeastbymidwest.com

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  38. Bonnie, as a blogger just starting out, I have to say: I love your blog and this post. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    kate
    latelierbykate.com

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  39. AAAAAAAANNNDDD this is why I love reading your blog! Preach it sister, preach it.

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  40. not only did i read your post--and love it-- but i read through every single comment as well. i LOVE that all of us are different.

    some are into fashion. some aren't. some read The Daybook, and obviously some don't. (I do). some are forever going to feel awkward... and others find their stride. but we ALL feel like blogging is just like high school.

    i just love this. i actually have had this thought so many times. it's crazy. high school gave me so much anxiety, and it's amazing to look back and think about how often that anxiety keeps popping back up when i think about my blog.

    what a voice you have. thanks for being a blogging soldier, bon!

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    Replies
    1. Great comment. Bonnie pretend we said this together at the same time. ;) Haha. seriously though, these are my thoughts exactly. Great post girl!

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  41. I love this post and agree with everything you've said. I think I'm going to share it on my FB page!

    Keep being a blogging superhero!

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  42. I very much enjoyed this post and can totally see how these things transpire in the blogging world!

    ps I don't know who that blogger is!

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  43. All of this is oh so so (sadly) true.
    Great post!

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  44. You're speaking right to my heart, Bon. In fact, I shared this on Twitter. I also Tweeted this morning, after a failed attempt at my first link-up, "No one wants to sit next to my blog at lunch. Does it need deodorant?!" Seriously, this post is perfect and from the heart.

    www.theopinionatedgirl.com

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  45. Great post! So much truth!

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  46. So can I be in your clique?

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  47. I am just absolutely loving your honesty! Its so true! Thanks for stopping by a gray rainbow. I also wanted to thank you because I just read your mormon post and was educated in about 10 minutes. I hope everyone reads it!!

    -Sonya
    a new follower!

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  48. So, so, so true on all these counts. I feel pretty good about the popularity contest piece - my blog is still pretty tiny so I don't really think about it but I can totally see how it's out there. I could not agree more about rudeness, too! But the clique one (which to me can go hand in hand with the awkward parties one) is the one that gets me the most. There's a style blogger group here in Atlanta, and I've been to two events, and only ONE person has reached out to talk to me at either of these events. It definitely is awkward and it's definitely cliquey, because everyone else seems to already know each other and I'm the nerdy kid in the corner!

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  49. this is a brilliant post- it is so true!!!

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