The Life of Bon: Who can make a relationship work nowadays?!?

Monday, October 22, 2012

Who can make a relationship work nowadays?!?

I'm one day back from our Mexican extravaganza, and I I know you are all dying to hear about our cruising shenanigans.  I'm sure you're clamming at the bit to get the juicy details on the large African American lady in the breakfast line who declared to me that she eat figs to help her bowel movements, or my six foot two inch brother who got swept onto the shore by the waves, bowling over three people as he went, or maybe you want to hear about how we went right through Hurricane Paul and I puked three times and promised myself to never step foot on another cruise ship ever again?!?  Yes, I know you want to hear those details, and I promise you, you will get the details! 

Bon will not hold out on you!

But first.  Something more important.

We got back from our vacation late last night and it was all I could do to throw a load of laundry in and crawl into bed.  And yet, somehow I found the energy to get on twitter.  And it was there that I heard the news...  Jef and Emily officially announced their break up on Tuesday. 

Sheesh!  I tell you what folks, you go on a little vacation and all of a sudden your favorite couple in the world goes breaking up on you behind your back!  The nerve

Jef and Emily realeased their statement to People magainze.  Emily's version:  "I am sorry to tell you that Jef and I have, indeed, parted ways," Maynard told the magazine. "It was a very difficult and heartbreaking decision.

Jef's version:  "Meeting Emily on The Bachelorette was an incredible experience, we've had quite the journey. I've never loved someone so much in my whole life, Emily is the best person and mom I have ever met. She opened up her world to me and I fell in love with her, [her daughter] Ricki, her family and the Hendricks."

I couldn't help but feel bummed after hearing the news.

Bummed doesn't quite cover it.  Severely bummed is more like it.

It should come to no surprise to most of you that I adore Jef.  (I have even talked about him at length on the blog here and here.)  He's from Utah so the homeboy makes me proud, plus I thought the dude was genuine as all get out on the show.  I rooted for him and may or may not have even shed a little tear of love when he proposed to Emily.

You can imagine my disappointment to hear that this couple that seemed so adorably and hopelessly in love had called it quits after a mere couple of months.  72 days perhaps?

I moped around the house a little bit and then sulked my way into bed.  Hubs kept asking me what was wrong and I told him, but you can't expect a boy to understand feeling sad about celebrity break ups.  He laughed a little at how upset I was and said, "Oh, Bon Bon..."  I looked at him and asked, "Do you think it's silly that I am so sad that they broke up?"  In sensitve Hubs fashion he replied, "No Bon... I think it's sweet.  You want people to have happy marriages.  But you have to understand that their relationships aren't built on solid foundations."

I'm not exactly sure what it was all supposed to mean because seven days on a ship, one horrific day through a hurricane, and twelve hours of driving can do that to a girl.  But I think maybe Hubs said something profound.  Maybe.

Here's the deal.  I know it's dumb to feel sad when celebrities break up/divorce.  But I do.  I always kind of take it personally. 

Recent break ups that I was extremely upset about:

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes  How could you not be sad that these guys broke up?  It seemed like just yesterday Tom was jumping up and down on Oprah's couch, proclaiming his unrestrained loved for Katie.  What happened to that love?  Was it all just an act?

Will Arnett and Amy Poehler  They're comedy geniuses and the fact that they had a strong nine year marriage under their belt made me respect them even more. They made me believe that not only did they work their butts off for TV, but that they went home and worked their butts off for their marriage too.

Heidi Klum and Seal  So what was the deal with all those yearly vow renewals?  Did they forget what they had promised a mere four months ago?

Kim Kardashian an Kris Humphries  Sure, I know this has been talked to death, but come on!  I watched the wedding on TV, doesn't that count for anything now days?  And in other news, holy big hand, Kris!  It's larger than Kim's head!

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore  I can't help it- I thought this relationship was adorable.  Everyone said it wouldn't last because she was much too old for him and they defied all odds and thrived in a playful, flirty marriage.  And then the odds were undefied as they announced their split.

I'm not exactly sure why these celebrity marriages affect me so deeply.  Maybe I feel tricked by them?  On the long drive to California last week I read in People magazine all about Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds recent wedding.  Lavish and Italian and oh so beautiful.  I couldn't help but feel, "Ah, in two years I'll be reading about the divorce."  Maybe I feel even the marriages in Hollywood are fake?

Or maybe I feel threatened by these break ups?  Intimidated?  If these people-  with beuaty and wealth and fame untold, with the entire world at their fingertips- cannot make a marriage work what hope in the world do I have?  What prayer does a high school English teacher who comes home grumpy from parent teacher conference and lashes out at her husband or forgets to buy groceries for the third day in a row have of succeeding in a marriage?  What prayer, my friends!?!?

What do you think?  Are you surprised when celebrities break up?  Or do you care at all?  What does a marriage take that the rich and famous just can't seem to master?

R.I.P. Jef and Emily.  I will always love you.


  1. there are definitely celebrity break ups that tug at my heartstrings but i can't help slapping myself a little for being shocked

    ...i think it is BECAUSE they have all of those things that it is so EASY to get divorced. We mere peasants WORK hard for our lives...we go through hell trying to pay bills and build a life together...these people work...but they do not go through the same struggles that bond most couples in the world. Thats my opinion I guess.

  2. it's pathetic how sad I was when I found out they broke up.

    on the other hand, I was delighted when Kim and Kris broke up. I hate that guy. Hated him before they got married. I was happy it was over. and now Kim is dating Kanye, and I've lost all respect for her.

  3. gosh it made me so sad too.

    i wish we could know so much more about the details. i loved them. but seriously. loved them

  4. I was super sad when I found out! I even convinced myself it wasn't true! how could jef and emily break up, they are perfect. I think your hubs is right. Strong foundation is essential. Loved this post!

  5. That breakup I saw from a mile away, I am surprised that they lasted as long as they did

    Out of everyone on your list the only one I am surprised with is Will Arnett and Amy Poehler - the rest of them had an expiration date from the get go, maybe that's horrible to say but still - I call it like I see it

  6. oh wow HAND! that is such a large hand...

    anyway, i was sad when seal and heidi klum broke up - i always thought they looked so in love!
    i didn't watch the bachelorette but i understand your feelings!

  7. I was waiting patiently for this post. I started following you because of your adoration of Jef. Something we have in common. I couldn't believe it. I feel as if I was broken up with because I invested so much time and energy into their relationship. I followed them both on Twitter and Instagram! I think what upsets me the most is that poor little Ricki could have had such an awesome extended family and such a cool step-dad and now she has to say goodbye to yet another guy. That poor girl!

    As for the rest of celebrity relationships. . .Will Arnett and Amy Poehler was the one that really got to me. They were the funny couple! Maybe the expectations were just too high? It has to be rough when you are both trying to be so darn funny all of the time. Still though. I can't even imagine breaking up with someone after such a long time. That's practically a decade! Maybe they started out with their best jokes and then the laughter went away.

    One breakup I am happy about? Courtney and Ben from the Bachelor. Called it!

  8. Yeah, there have been a couple celebrity break-ups I was upset about. Maybe I just find their over the top weddings and lifestyles so stupid when you realize it's never going to last.

    I think being NOT famous bodes well for a marriage. I'm glad I don't have any paparazzi clamoring for footage of the fights I have with my husband or for gossip about our relationship. I think marriage is tough enough without being under the microscope.

  9. I feel like I'm an expert on this subject! Since I've been living in California and work in "hollywood" I've gotten to see these celebrities up close. My husband knows even better since he actually interacts with celebrities everyday and gets to know them personally. I believe that if you are a celebrity you shouldn't get married. They really don't live in the real world. They are so used to getting EVERYTHING that they want and are never told no. There is no compromise which is why I don't think they can make a marriage work. Plus, there are just too many temptations in their line of work. I guess celebrity break ups don't bother me because I KNOW they won't last....haha.

  10. I totally agree with you! And I am such a big Bachelor/ette fan! And bachelor pad of course!
    And get so sad for the celeb couples that do break up/divorce, I mean they are also just human!
    Let's hope Kim K and West never break up, I like them together!
    WTF is up with Kris's huge ass hands! That's just scary!

  11. Just like Hubs said, they don't have the right foundation. If God isn't in the middle, truly present, it won't work. Marriage is hard. It takes only what God can give to make it work. :)

  12. I would have to agree that people breaking up as of late really disappoints me also. I mean really, Danny DeVito and his wife, Emily and Jef, then Blakely and Tony who proposed on the final show. Its just sad!

  13. Heidi and Seal broke up?!!!

  14. I'M SO SAD THEY BROKE UP TOO!!!! I love Jef. I thought they were wonderful together. UGH. Thanks for ruining my Tuesday...

  15. I'm sad when couples break up, but I'm not surprised. I think what your hubs said is true. These relationships are not built on solid foundations. You look at the marriages in Hollywood that have lasted years and years. Denzel Washington and his wife, Paul Newman and his wife. I know I NEVER see those couples in the tabloids or at hollywood parties and I've seen Denzel Washington speak many times about his faith in God. I think the lifestyle and community of Hollywood sets people up for failure. These people are constantly idolized and have access to everything. They are worshiped my many and therefore a marriage that requires unselfishness and commitment just doesn't work.

  16. I was sad but not surprised too. I hate seeing people break up too though. Lately, it seems like I've seen more of my real friends breaking up and divorcing. It makes you realize that marriage is seriously hard when you see so many people splitting.

  17. I don't watch the Bachelor/ette, but I do know what you mean when celebrities get divorced/split up. I was so, so upset when Katy Perry and Russell Brand divorced. Her pain was my pain. I kind of felt the same way when Tom and Katie split, but not quite as deeply. I think if Kate and William ever divorced, a la Charles and Diana, I will just die.

    Geez I need a life.

  18. Anonymous10:24 AM

    New follower. Saw your blog over at AunieSauce. Love it! I am a high school Spanish teacher, so I get to teach Spanish grammar! I find myself having to teach a lot of English grammar, though, in the midst.

  19. I get really sad about celebrity break ups too...totally get it. I also get completely depressed over certain celebrity marriages but that's another story. My theory is that marriage is incredibly hard no matter who you are but if you happen to be someone for whom money is no object getting a divorce is just so much easier. It sounds horrible but I think a lot more people would throw in the towel instead of working on their marriage if their financial stability and the lifestyle of their children wouldn't be totally compromised by getting a divorce.

  20. I didn't even hear about this until now. Wow. My day is ruined. I loved Jef and Emily. Are we being taken advantage of by these shows? I'm starting to wonder if anything is true????

  21. I get sad too when I hear of break ups in marriage. It does make me sad that there are so many. I guess I want everyone to have a great marriage like mine, when it doesn't turn out to be that way its heart breaking..

    By that way I'm a new follower.. Love this blog!


  22. I was SO depressed about Amy Poehler and Will Arnett!! They were my favorite couple ever!

  23. I'm glad you're pathetic about this stuff like me :) I LOVE JEM!