The Life of Bon: You know something is seriously wrong when you buy a gym pass and other matters of utmost importance

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

You know something is seriously wrong when you buy a gym pass and other matters of utmost importance

I did the weirdest thing just barely.

I bought a gym pass.

It went like this.  I saw a commercial on TV for Planet Fitness.  It said it was ten bucks a month no contract.  Lately I've been feeling antsy... like the snow and the biting weather and the dark dark nights are going to leave me feeling like some kind of caged animal.

So I stared at the commerical and I said to myself, "Yes."

Then I hopped right on the internet and bought that pass.  Talk about an effective commercial!

I've never in my life had a gym pass.  We'll see how it goes.  If you don't hear from me tomorrow by this time know that I am most likely trapped under 80 pound barbells.  You know where to find me.  Planet Fitness.  Orem Utah.  Call for help.

Also.  I look like this when I do even very mild physical activity.  Can't imagine how my face will transform at a real gym.


You people are brilliant.  Talk about the best How-To contributions on this post EVER.  I was dying!  I could not believe how funny and creative everybody is who commented.  Then I thought, "Of course they're funny and creative!  They're reading my blog aren't they?!?"  I kid, I kid.  Kind of.



How to be a stalker.
Get in car. 
Start driving.
Take notice of the life-size blue unicorn lawn ornament.
Grab photo-taking device.
Drive by 3 times, slowly, while trying to snap a photo.
Realize there were kids playing in the next yard.
Drive away quickly.


How to help your child with math homework:
1. Sit at the table
2. Read the first problem.
3. Send them to their Dad.


How to make sure you go totally insane by Thanksgiving:
-Agree to host Thanksgiving for your entire family
-Decline offers for people to help you cook because you're a such a control freak
-complain about how much cooking you have to do
-read a text from your brother requesting that you not try to "cook outside of the box" this year
-reply to your brother telling him what he can do with his beloved sweet potatoes
-invite your in-laws at the last minute
-agree to go pick up your in-laws in the event that it snows on Thanksgiving
-remember that there's an 85% chance of it snowing on Thanksgiving where you live and your in-laws live 60 miles away
-Tell your mom she can stay with you and doesn't need to get a hotel
-remember you no longer have a guest room cause it is filled with toys and your kids' stinky pet turtle
-remember that spending
more than 3 hours with your mother and mother-in-law at the same time makes you completely insane

I'm seriously loving up hardcore on everybody who commented.  Y'all are geniuses.  You complete me.  Going too far?

Speaking of completing me, today you all are going to meet one awesome blogger. I would like to think that when I become a mama in the some day far distant very long ways away future I will be a mother like Megan.  She's got adorable perfect skinned babies and Megan herself is a tall dark and beautiful model.  So yah.  I guess that's what I want from motherhood.  For me and my babies to be beautiful.  I always have had my priorities straight.

But seriously... Megan is one of my daily reads.  She brings blogging down to earth, where it should be.  I've never met her but she's the type of person you know you could meet for lunch one rainy afternoon and four hours later realize you forgot to pick up your kids from soccer practice.  


Hello friends of Bon, I'm Megan from AbsoluteMommy.  I love to blog about my life, my kids, some DIY, and Pinterest.  I'm really excited to be here at Bon's place today.  She sure surprised me when she sponsored my blog last month.  I'm so glad she did, I just love her little space on the Internet.  I will admit though, I'm super nervous.  Bon is an English teacher, and I feel like this is my first assignment.  So wish me luck, as I'm trying to get an "A".  Also let me add that I can be very sarcastic.  Just a warning.  (Bon here... so far you're at a B+)
I've been getting in the spirit that is Thanksgiving.  It's about that time, so I was thinking about all the reasons I'm thankful for blogging.  All the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I had a few, heartfelt reasons, but I didn't want to bore you with some sappy post.  Instead, I'm going to try and make you laugh...
Here are my reasons for being thankful for blogging:
I would have never known that this was a thing:

Not only the headband, but the self portrait thing as well.
Here are a few of the dorky attempts.
And my dirty bathroom that is a constant in my selfies.
I made the headband as part of the challenge, too.
So thank you blogging for dorky self pictures, weirdly placed headbands,
and DIY fabric flowers I now put on everything.
Including my daughters.
How else would I know what to wear or what others are wearing?

Yes, I blog, and yes, I do these posts.
My hubbs thinks they are ridiculous.
I told him he just doesn't understand.
Thank you blogging world for understanding that
Wednesdays are made for a Fashion post.

I would never know that Starbucks is serving Pumpkin Spice Lattes.
Or that they are serving them in a red cup.
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
Thank you bloggers for alerting me to the magic of the season.
I would have never discovered Instagram.
favorite Instagram of the moment.
Which I love almost as much as my iPhone.
How else would I take my WIW photos, or pictures of my kids eating at Panera Bread.
Thank you Instagram, you make my everyday life look like art,
and my unwashed hair look terrific.
 (Bon here- you see what I'm talking about?  They all look like models!)
I would have never known the genius that is Passion Fruit Ads or Rafflecopter.
Oh, you're not a blogger?
Sorry, but this is like when sliced bread was invented.
Thank you PF Ads and Rafflecopter for changing my blogging life.
I can now spend the time I would on sponsors and giveways over at Pinterest.
I would have never known the difference between"mint" and "teal".
In regards to skinny jeans.
Because there is a difference.
Thanks to some serious fashion bloggers I know what too look for.
Also thank you for clearing up "oxblood" and "maroon".
(Bon here... I feel left out... can we talk about this oxblood/maroon thing?!?)
I would have never known how to do anything.

Fabric flower poof?  Check.
T-shirt Infinity Scar?  Check.
Cake mix cookies?  Check.
The list goes on and one.
While I should thank Pinterest, why should Miz Pin get all the credit.
I would have never been able to make these things if it weren't for
the awesome blogs that provide the tutorials.
I would have never "linked" up.
Hi, I'm Megan, and I'm addicted to Link ups.
I have yet to meet one I don't like.
I've done a vlog.
I love lists.
I have even posted a craft or two.
If you give a blogger a link party...
Which I'm so thankful you do, it's how I've met some amazing bloggers.
All sarcasm aside, I'm thankful for the blogging world. Little did I know when I started my blog almost two years ago that there was an entire community of friendship to be had. I found amazing blogs sharing ideas on parenting, faith, community, photography, and life. I'm sure if you are reading this today you have an idea.  I'm thankful for this blogging community who likes to laugh with me, share with me and pray with me.  Want to give some bloggy thanks??
You can start by helping me thank Bon for letting me hang out today!
Have a happy holiday and enjoy your Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

Alright girls, go to!  Go give Megan some love Life of Bon style.




  1. I'm in love with this post! :D Megan sounds like an awesome gal. Thanks for introducing her and her blog to me!

  2. What an awesome post!! I just dint want it to get over!!!! :) :)


  3. I'll be checking out Megan, she's got some good points on we bloggers love blogging!
    But back to you...go to the gym, stick with it. I'm excited for you! And if you ever have a day you think the gym may bite or just plain my post, 10 reasons to not fear the gym!

  4. Jeesh you are freaking hilarious bon bon! I love your blog!
    Makes my day!

  5. no you can workout with meeee :)

  6. I just found your blog and I love it! It makes me smile :) Thanks for your humor and zeal for life.


  7. Bahhh! I am famous! LOL. Thanks for the shout out.

    Love this blog!!!

    And like Megan, I would never know Instagram without blogging either! haha!

  8. Haha my favorite convo with my other half goes like this:
    "Hun take my picture Here!"
    Is this for a blog post?
    "Yes of Course!"
    Make sure I'm left out of it.

    But thanks to those pics I make the most of every day! Thanks for the Megan Intro!

  9. if my gym membership pass were a child, i would have been imprisoned for a bone chilling amount of neglect. fortunately, it was just a gym pass and the only thing bone chilling were the saddlebags forming on my already thunderous thighs. didn't make me pretty. which is probably why i dropped out.

    Megan sounds like a gem! thanks for the introduction. i'll get to stalking now.

  10. Your posts are so awesome! I swear they encourage me to be a better blogger and just tell stories. Something has been happening to me at yum yum donuts I think Im going to share about. Thanks for the encouragment. Reading your blog does that. Ps 10 bucks a month is a great deal. Especially with no contract. Ballys sucked me in once for 33.95 a month for 2 years. It was the worse time ever!

  11. I am a new follower to your blog, because how could I not? You are hilarious! And you remind me of my sister-in-law. She is also hilarious, teaches high school English, and lives in Orem. I am going to spend the next several hours stalking your blog, and then I'll totally deny it so that I don't frighten you!

  12. Yes...I'm going to need to know how this gym thing went. Because I have access to two free ones...and they NEVER get used......

  13. I joined a gym purely because they had a daycare and I could drop the baby off for a bit of free time. That's not bad, right?

    I read AbsoluteMommy!

  14. i can't believe i was just in your blog post. this just made my week. or my year.

    also, megan: one of the best guest posts i ever read. i hate guest posts. but this one rocked.

    amanda @

  15. I LOVED Planet Fitness last winter (the one in Orem too, how funny is that?) I'll probably end up back there this winter. I just can't handle the cold! Good choice in gym though :) It's the best.

    New Follower :)

  16. Gym? Whats that? ;) Love Megan and this guest post!! You both rock my face off! Xoxoxo

  17. we go to the same gym! ....when i go to the gym, that is....