This week in blog land, a popular male blogger admitted to the blogging community and to the world that he is gay. I have following Dan of Single Dad Laughing for awhile, mostly because it's kind of impossible not to. Anytime he writes a brilliant post it's all over my facebook wall. Yes, Dan I hear you laughing- laughing all the way to the bank, in fact. You may have seen his "I'm Christian, unless your gay" post as well as his "16 ways I blew my marriage." They run rampant on these interwebs of ours.
I was really surprised to hear that Dan is gay because he has been married twice (to women) and has stated repeatedly on his blog that he is straight. He has always stood up for gays, but made sure to label himself a straight alliance.
Growing up in a culture that is so conservative, it has taken me awhile to figure out where I stand in the gay issue. I was born and raised in the Mormon church- a church I still actively participate in and love with all my heart. Mormons believe in marriage in the traditional sense- one man one woman.
Sometimes with the whole gay issue I wanna just put my head on the table, bang it repeatedly until someone takes notice and scream out, "Who even cares?!? Why does it matter if someone is gay or straight? What difference does it make in my personal life? Why is it my business if Jack chooses to marry a man or a woman? And why are we wasting so much energy and thought and passion on something that is totally innocuous when you look at the big picture? With all the damages, the evils, the suffering in the world, we are choosing to focus so much of our energy on this issue? THIS one?!? How about prostitution or poverty or world hunger or pornography or child abuse or nuclear warfare or alcoholism?!? These are the real dangers our country is facing. The real harm!"
One of my very very favorite gospel teaching is the concept of agency. Because God loves us so much he lets us make our own choices. He didn't have to give us agency, but He did. I am so thankful to God for letting me make my choices- for letting me decide to become a teacher, for letting me say "Yes!" to Hubs' marriage proposal, for letting me pursue my love of writing. How could I, as someone who values her agency so much, tell someone else that can't have agency because they would choose differently than I do?
Sometimes I wonder about the man upstairs. He certainly has an interesting way of doing things. There are a lot of questions I have for Him when I see Him (Why can't I carry a tune? Why did you let me fail my 9th grade biology class? Why couldn't I have been born 6 inches taller?) but I think my first question will be why He commanded his children to marry someone of the opposite sex but then only gave that desire to some. It doesn't seem too fair that some people are automatically attracted to the opposite sex and some are not.
But then I just tell myself to stop worrying so much about it and just leave it up to God. He knows what He's doing. This was never about me, it's not supposed to me about me. So I'll just leave it in God's hand and trust that He has it all figured out. Because He does.
One of my favorite quotes the last time I posted about this issue was from my college roommate and bestie, Sally. She stated:
The New Testament is rife with stories that try to explain that God doesn't judge us all the same. The story about the talents - he gives some 10, some 5, and some 1...the story about the workers in the field that are called at different hours of the day...
I think the most important thing that we need to do is just show love and kindness. God does not ask us to be judgmental or cruel. He asks us to love one another. If we all had Christ-like love, I believe that God would bless us with the knowledge of why some things are.
Couldn't have said it better myself, Sal Sal. I totally agree with Sally that if we were all more loving and accepting, God would give us more knowledge about why some things are.
I guess I find it interesting that we sort of pick and choose the commandments we want to obey. A couple of popular commandments, for example... #1: God told man to marry woman. #2: He also told man to show charity, kindness, compassion. To not judge, to love openly. To be patient and forgiving and to do as to others as he would have them do unto him.
Somewhere in our quest for keeping #1 and making sure that every other person in the country is in keeping with #1, did we forget about #2 completely? Is there some kind of totem pole of commandments? Some that are more important to keep than others? Is #2 on the bottom of the pole, only to be followed if all the others are kept? It's funny the emphasis we seem to be putting on #1, when #2 was the crux of all the Savior's teachings. Not #1.
I often think about what kind of a world my children will grow up. In many ways, I think it will be much worse than this world. But in some ways, I hope it can be better. I hope for a world of more acceptance. More love. More patience. More understanding. More compassion.
No matter who you are.
And no matter who you are attracted to.
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Ya'll are the best.