The Life of Bon: You oughta know

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

You oughta know

1.  I did my first "You oughta know" post a couple of months ago, back when the days were still long and my students were still bringing their pencils to class.  I liked it.  It was fun.  And strangely enough, it released a lot of crazy thoughts that are constantly flying around in my head and finally allowed them to rest on paper.

2.  Oughta is still not a word.  I think that's dumb.  

3.  Hubs is gone tonight (and will be pretty much every night until New Years.  Hello, rehearsals!) so I didn't have to worry about impressing anyone with dinner.  I am eating mini carrots, frozen pepperoni and an Eggo waffle.  Try not to clap too loud, okay?

4.  I am seriously starting to worry about my students.  My juniors just finished reading "The Crucible".  As part of their test they were to write an essay answering the question, "What commentary is Miller making about the role of women in the 1600s."  Easy enough, right?

The following is a thesis statement from one of my students:

"Along with women being stay at home mothers who cook and clean, women also minipulate you, and make shit up."

Word for word.  I kid you not.  And mom, I'm sorry about the S word. I just couldn't edit it out.  

And his conclusion.  Oh my goodness, his conclusion.
"So women?  they are very good at being a stay at home mom, cooking and cleaning.  They are also careless minipulating and lie for their benefit even if hurts others.  I think women now and then should be stay at home moms and cook and clean."

Now I've gotten a lot of weird things in essays before.  I have laughed and laughed at the things my students say.  I have posts and posts and posts dedicated to the hilarity that comes out of their mouths.  But this one takes the cake.  Well done, my friend.

5.  Getting a gym membership was the worst idea I ever had.  I feel guilty all the time.  Instead of just coming home and relaxing, I have to torture myself because I'm not going to the gym.  THEN when I do go to the gym I feel good for about 20 minutes the dread for the next day's workout begins.  It's a lose lose situation I tell you.  LOSE LOSE!

6.  I'm still trying to figure out Hubs.  He is so great at taking out the trash.  He always does it without me even having to ask, WOWZERS!  But he never replaces the liner.  Does he not know where the liners are?  Does he not know the garbage needs a liner?  Does he have a secret fear of the danger of plastic bags!?!?  Don't fear you guys, Private Bon is on the case.  I'll crack this one.

7.  I am convinced that the best thing that ever happened to fast food is sweet potato fries.  Thank you, Arctic Circle.

8.  Christmas music is awesome.  Seriously, we all know it is.  It makes me happy and festive and gets me feeling downright cheery.  But what is with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?  Do we really have to listen to that as a legitimate Christmas song?  Can't we all just realize that it was some dumb joke by a bored song writer and stop playing it forever?  PLEASE?!?

9.  A student wrote in his journal today that he was excited to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a physical therapist/ professional golfer.  Am I the only one who thinks that slash is slightly out of place?  Since when did physical therapy get paired up with professional golf?  And how in the world could you ever manage them both?!?

10.  I realized the only two pictures I have on here so far are of food.  And that is depressing.

11.  So freaking proud of Hubs and his friends in his comedy club.  They had probably the funniest show I have ever seen them put on on Monday night.  Highlights included Hubs acting like a woman going into labor.  Strangely satisfying.  Hubs is all the way on the right.  I know what you're thinking.  Hubbidy freaking hubba!

12.  I ran two red lights today.  How many red lights did YOU run?

13.  My laptop totally crashed.  It got attacked by a virus disguised as an anti virus program.  Wow, those viruses are tricky!  I asked the tech guy at my school to take a look at it.  He didn't act too excited as he told me he charges $50 an hour to fix computers in his spare time.  I told him not to worry, we could trade services and I would help him write thesis statements.  He didn't seem too stoked about that. RUDE.  Listen guy, my skills are just as valuable as yours!

14.  Somehow I have rebelled against every anti animal fiber in my being and fallen helplessly in love with my mom's toy poodle, Buddy.  I have always prided myself in hating dogs, and yet I let this little dude follow me around everywhere.  I even taught him some tricks.  Ah, what is the world coming to?!?  Everything I once knew is lost.

15.  If you are visiting from Jenni's or Taylor's blog, WELCOME!  So happy you stopped in.  Please leave a comment, get cozy, and stick around.  I won't mind a bit.  Buddy might.  But I won't.


  1. that kids essay is too much! I ate waffles for dinner. but just waffles, so at least you got some protein and veggies in there. :)

  2. I always LOVE your posts about your students.They make me and the hubs crack up! :)


  3. Sweet potato fries and marshmallow sauce changed my life!

    Love this post idea! I may try one too (and of course link to you :)) if that's okay!!

  4. can you introduce me to that kid please i think i need a new friend

  5. My boyfriend does the same thing with the trash can liner! He takes out the trashbag then starts throwing more garbage in the can with no liner! It's not rocket science men! :)

  6. Yes. I did laugh while reading this post BUT some of the things that your students do scare me a little bit!

    Ana I totally agree about the Christmas music!

    XO Lourdes

  7. My jaw dropped at number fourteen. You hate dogs?!?!? I don't even understand the statement. Are you anti-animals generally, or is it just dogs? What about sweet dachshunds named Gatsby (which is obviously the greatest dog name ever)?

    Or... are you a CAT person? Gross. :)

  8. Those comedy club photos are HILARIOUS. Man, that has to be so fun to watch! And sweet potato fries...could eat them every day, if my love handles would let me. My gym membership makes me feel guilty, too. Lets just go eat fries and be done with it. WIN WIN. ;)

  9. My parents have teacup poodle. We always had dogs as pets, but they were the typical 'living in the country, outside dogs'.

    Now they have become those crazy dog people who put sweaters on him when it's cold. I don't like to go over there anymore.

  10. On the brightside, your student did use "their" correctly :)

  11. I don't even know what to say about the essay... so I'll let that slide!
    Don't worry about "oughta" still not being a word. I figure if "bootylicious" can make its way into the Oxford English Dictionary, everything has a shot.

  12. LOVE YOUR DINNER! hahaa so something I would do!

  13. At least you made some attempt at eating for dinner - if I don't make something my hubby doesn't eat then I feel bad.

  14. So far, your blog is the coolest blog I have ever read. Nice work! ha ha

    P.S. Dogs are the shiz. That toy poodle is so cute!

  15. lol, i love your blog. 1 red light for me!

  16. That essay has me torn between laughing and being worried about that particular student haha. How do you even comment on or grade that essay? Incredible haha

  17. Haha love your post. Oh, and my husband has the same problem as yours...stll trying to figure that one out :)

  18. I'm stopping by from Jenni's blog!

    #6 is HILARIOUS! Maybe you could put the liners right beside the trash can and see if he gets the hint!! LOL!

    I read some of your other stories too. The teaching ones are great!!

  19. Okay, so a)That writing from your student...just, wow. I can't even imagine what they are seeing at home. Yikes! b) My husband cleans the kitchen and does the dishes, but never wipes down the table or counters...dude, your job is NOT finished. Men!

  20. Bon,I just found you from Jenni's blog, and I just spent WAY too much time on your little blog! I look forward to reading more soon!

  21. Stopping in from Jenni's blog!

    That essay is amazingly alarming, my boyfriend has the same fear of replacing the stupid garbage bag (and I always throw food remains or coffee grounds in there without realizing and then have to clean out the dumb thing), and when I am alone for dinner I just usually have Goldfish crackers and wine so you are a step ahead of me.

    Looking forward to continue reading! :)

  22. I flippin' love sweet potato fries!

  23. I'm visiting from Jenni's blog and am your newest follower. LOVE your momma's sweet baby. He looks just like my maltipoo, Bentley. :)

  24. Me and the BF recently had a heart to heart about the trash can liner because it was making me crazy. He did it like 3 times, we then moved and apparently we need a heart to heart for every residence because all of a sudden he forgot that I will not be a nice person when my hands are full of garbage and I have nowhere to PUT IT!

  25. #4 is the funniest shit ever-pun intended. I was crying from laughing so much. Thanks for making my day:)

  26. holy snow balls. i used to teach 8th grade math, and was BLOWN AWAYYYYYYY by crap those kids said and believed to be real. Good stuff.
    Also, I am drooling over the Zaxby's sauce in that pic.
    Annnnnnd, it's awesome that you call it a 'liner'. Just awesome.
    Found you from Tay's.
    New follower.

  27. I just discovered you! If this were The Voice, I'd be Cee-lo. Irrelevant. Thanks to Taylor at The Daily Tay for providing me with a double dose of ha!

  28. my husband doesn't ever put the liner back in either. ugh.

  29. I'm over here from Jenni's blog - I've really enjoyed getting lost in the pages. I'm excited to stick around for a while. :)