The Life of Bon: Hello? Allow me to introduce myself...

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Hello? Allow me to introduce myself...

It's time for a reacquaintance.  I haven't introduced myself for some time  on this blog and the masterminds of blogger tell me I've got some new friends around here.  I could pretend like I  don't notice, but I've never been one for being discreet.  So WELCOME new friends.

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BON BON



1.  I don't really ever refer to myself as Bon Bon except for, strangely enough, when I am writing on this blog.

2.  When I was in seventh grade my brother, Reed, tried to do a wrestling move and about dang near knocked my tooth out.  It was hanging by a string.  The doctor popped it back in and put a brace on it and all was well within a few weeks.  A part of me is still mad at that dentist for fixing that tooth.  If I had had to go through life as a one-toothed woman, I could have sued my brother for big bucks.

3.  I'm working hard on a goal I made a little while ago to make people feel good about themselves.  Sometimes it's easy.  Sometimes it's hard.  Mostly it's hard when the people I am dealing with are idiots.

4.  I suck at:  texting back, calling back, and emailing back.  I think I was happier pre-cell phone days.  I hate that people know that I carry a cell phone and know that they can get a hold of me whenever they want.  Some days I just leave my phone in my purse when I get home from work and don't get it out until I go to work the next morning.  SO SUE ME.

5.  Below you will see the picture of the guy I married.  His name is Greg.  But don't call him that.  From here on out we refer to him only as Hubs.  All hail Hubs!  We met when I was reading on a balcony and he was walking across the parking lot.  He told me the pink streak in my hair was looking mighty fine and I told him to come up and make me dinner with his shirt off.  Eight months later I was throwing a bouquet. 


6.  For a living I play blackjack.

7.  Just kidding about number six.  I'm a high school English teacher.  I have to teach high school instead of elementary because a) I don't have patience for little uns b) I don't want to have to pretend I like crappy drawings and c) I don't do snot/pee/poo/tears.

8.  Today in class we heard what appeared to be tribal music coming from the classroom next door.  In a moment of poor instinct I yelled, "Quick!  We need a sacrifice!  We must send over a virgin to sacrifice "  I don't know why that came to my mind, why I blurted it out, and why I thought it was appropriate.  The kids laughed anyway because they think I'm psycho and that would be reason d) why I don't teach elementary school.

9.  I was born into a family of eight kids.  This means I have learned to fight for attention.  I can put on a show with the best of them.  One of my favorite things to do as a kid was to tell acquaintances and friends not smart enough to know better that it was my birthday and soak in the attention all day long.  I'm messed up.  I know.



10.  I can be bossy.  I blame it on the 16 year olds.  I get used to bossing them around all day that I come home and think I have the right to tell everybody else what to do, too.  It's weird, but people don't like being bossed around.

11.  I have had close to 20 traffic citations.  And that's not even touching the boots, the towings, or the parking tickets.  Or the two cars I totaled.  I don't say this because I'm bragging about my bad driving record, but because I am bragging that it has been 19 months since my last ticket.  NINETEEN MONTHS.  I have been reformed.

This was the day I got two tickets 20 minutes apart.  
One was for going 26 over the speed limit- a $540 fine.  
My lead foot is was expensive!

12.  People always make fun of me for my bad driving and if we're ever going somewhere in a group they say I'm not allowed to drive.  This hurts my feelings.  I mean, come on, if you had 20 traffic tickets I wouldn't rub it in your face like that!

13.  The best part of my day is the hour at night before I have to go to bed and I cuddle up with Hubs and watch TV and giggle and flirt and drift off to sleep.  

14.  The worst part of my day is 5:40 am when my alarm clock rings.  If I had known as a college student that I would be waking up at 5:40 am when I had a full time job you better believe I never even would have considered graduating.

15.  The picture below is what my husband looks like when I leave for work in the morning.  Some kind of praying demon?  What think ye?!?


16.  A couple of days ago I was passing out copies of Les Miserables for my seniors to read.  One girl looked at the title and then exclaimed, "Ah, man!  My copy is in Spanish!"  That's been making me smile for going on six days now.

17.  I once had a friend who called me Bonahrrea.  I am warning you now if you call me that name I will hold it against you forever.  Sally I'm talking to you.

18.  Every year I invest hundreds of hours watching my favorite basketball team, the Utah Jazz disappoint me.   It's not the healthiest thing I've got going on in my life.


19.  I make Hubs late.  All the time.  Oops.

20.  I like ladybugs and roses and anything girly.  I eat bowls of cereal with the milk overflowing.  I've got a hot head and a sharp tongue that is rarely controlled.  I've been known to burst into tears for no reason.  I am passionate about reading and writing and reality TV.  Long eyelashes are my guilty pleasure.  On Saturdays I do my best to sleep until noon and when I see old couples holding hands my heart completely melts.  I think painted fingernails are the epitome of femininity and a diet coke the cure to every curve ball life throws at you.  This is me!

42 comments:

  1. Love it! I'm a list girl and I love hearing all these important dets about you! :)

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  2. I;m so glad I found you're blog. You sound like a trip...in a good way :)

    www.littlegems3.blogspot.com

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  3. ok i just have to share this since you're laughing at your 16 year old that said that about les mis,

    im a high school SPANISH teacher and one of my besties, who teaches chem (almost just wrote quimica, so sue me) was leaving my classroom one day and i said, 'adios' and she said, 'siyanara' and then she stop, turns around and goes, 'wait! what's the difference?' i said, 'what, what?' she said, 'siyanara & adios'. i was like, 'ummm, one's japanese one is spanish' i still laugh about that one!! haha

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  4. You're hilarious. I love your blog. <3

    xoxo
    Cai

    PS- I live in Texas, but was born in Utah, so the Jazz will forever be my home team. Goooo Jazz!

    www.caidailyrant.blogspot.com

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  5. Love it! Even more excited I found your blog after reading that!

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  6. I'm a new friend and it's nice to meet you!

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  7. I've been around for a little bit BUT this just makes me love you more! :)

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  8. Loved the bit about the kid thinking that was Spanish!

    Great post.


    Bisous
    Suzanne
    http://bisous.typepad.com/bisous/

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  9. Ahhh this was a good one! There's nothing else I'll never need to know about ya- you covered all the important things!

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  10. Sometimes I wish I taught high school so I could hear gems like that Les Mis one. But, I'm stuck pretending to like crappy drawings.

    I love this post!

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  11. Love this list and nice to meet ya! I'm a new follower so thanks for the introduction!

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  12. this is such an adorable post!!!!
    thanks for sharing with us :)

    xo. c & v
    cake & valley

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  13. New follower here! So glad you did this post. Now I feel like I know all the important things about you and I can relate. I never return calls and I always say inappropriate things. And I do find it hard to be nice to people who are idiots- same thing to people who are lazy.

    You're too funny!

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  14. Your praying demon-Hubs is cracking me up! But I'm not sure if demons can pray like that, so I think he's safe and not actually a demon. Also, #8 had me cracking up!

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  15. So glad to get to know you. :)

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  16. I'm so glad you were part of the give away contest, otherwise I wouldn't have stumbled onto your blog. I love it! Looking forward to reading more.

    Allison

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  17. ahh i love your posts Bon! they always make me smile

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  18. Praying Demon Hubs. That is fantastic. That man should do another guest post in response to the picture. Or he could share with us a few times you've made him late!

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  19. Love this post! I'm going to have to do one myself in the near future!

    LOVE the pic of sleeping hubs, boys do weird things while they sleep... I hope he doesn't sleep-talk as much as my boyfriend does! haha

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  20. This is an awesome "About Me" post. Should definitely use it. Kind of inspires me to make one for my blog because, well, I love your blog!

    Analilia {Ride the spiral}

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  21. Great post! Im new so its nice to see these posts :)

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  22. So glad I know you that much more now!
    http://johced-ourjourneytoeverywhere.blogspot.com/
    xxx

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  23. I'm still laughing from reading this post! Love it!!! I'm a terrible driver, too. Well, I don't like to admit it, but the 4 wrecks and 3 tickets I've had prove otherwise.

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  24. I'm the same way with my cell phone! Glad to know I'm not the only one who hates to be available at the push of a button.

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  25. Love this! So happy I found your blog!

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  26. i just love ya. you are awesome.

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  27. my hubs and i also invest hours of our life watching the Jazz disappoint us too ;) it's a sickness, really.

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  28. I'm new here! I'm glad you did this post! I dig your sense of humor, and that'll keep me coming back! :)

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  29. I'm one of your "newbies" and I have to tell ya that I've been enjoying reading you! Thanks for sharing a piece of YOU with all of US!

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  30. And we like you just the way you are, bad driving, bossiness, and all. :)

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  31. He might actually *be* a praying demon...which is a tad more scary than just a regular demon...

    However, I totally enjoyed this list. Such great things you've informed us about :)

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  32. The best..."I'm working hard on a goal I made a little while ago to make people feel good about themselves. Sometimes it's easy. Sometimes it's hard. Mostly it's hard when the people I am dealing with are idiots." Happy Friday! :)

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  33. New follower :) Nice to meet you!

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  34. Ha! Can totally relate to not wanting to teach little kids. I'm a middle school Social Studies teacher and often say the same about the pee and poop stuff. Plus I often say totally inappropriate things as well that would be bad for little kids to hear. Ooops!

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  35. Loved this post! I have a bunch of speeding tickets, but not as many as you! I hate how people make fun of me for it :(

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  36. OMG it's been way too long since I dropped by!! It's nice to get to know you better and thanks for making me miss teaching high school...I am not at all comfortable at the middle school and hope to go back to high school soon!! I definitely could not deal with the elementary kids either and LOL about pretending to like crappy drawings!!and holy cow that's a lot of traffic tickets...glad you're 19 months free of traffic tickets keep it up :)

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  37. New follower, you're hilarious! esp the part how you met the Hubs!

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  38. omg. i love everything about this post - it just made me laugh and smile. i LOVE how you met hubs and I LOVE that you said you need a virgin sacrifice to a bunch of high schools and I LOVE your horrible driving skills!!!

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  39. I started following you about a week ago and can't get enough of your posts. I am literally cracking up at number 16 and the -how you met your husband story-. I love it!!! Can't wait to enjoy more of your wonderful blogging.

    Xo-L

    simplylowcountry.blogspot.com

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  40. Love learning more about you. I think your blog is great. It sounds as though you and I would get along well. :)

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  41. I love that your a Jazz fan. I went to college with Gordon and his twin sister and was in classes (computer engineering, I know) with him. Anyone okay with Hayward is okay with me.

    -a

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  42. I loved this introduction. I enjoy how you can be inappropriate at times - it makes me feel better knowing that other people do that at unopportune moments as well. And I don't think you sound crazy - I think we could be friends. Which in itself might be crazy. Happy Friday :)

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