The Life of Bon: MISSING KEY CRISIS!!!!

Thursday, March 21, 2013


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Not the face of a mentally sane individual.

I drive myself absolutely insane sometimes.

Like I want to drive a hammer through my head and that would feel real great to me.

Worried yet?

I have these habits that just drive me bonkers and I can't stop doing them and it is so absolutely maddening I can't even describe it to you!

This morning I woke up at my usual time, 5:50 (OUCH!) got ready, was totally going to be on time from my carpool, grabbed the purse and fished around for my keys.

And fished.
And fished.
And fished.

The fishing soon turned to searching which inevitably morphed into sheer panicking.  I tried to remain calm.  "Keys, oh keys, where are you?  We're good.  We're calm.  I JUST NEED THE DAMN KEYS!"

After ten minutes of looking I texted my carpool buddy, "Go without me.  Keys AWOL.  GRRRR."

I flipped on every light in the house.  (Sorry Hubs but you don't get to sleep through this!) tossed couch cushions, opened every drawer in the bedroom, you know how the whole looking for keys and turning the house upside down drill goes.

Nothing.  Greg got out of bed and joined in on the 6:24 am fun and excitement.  I went outside to see if the car was unlocked (it wasn't) to see if I could see if my keys were locked in the car (I couldn't) and to see if somehow I left them in Greg's car (I hadn't.)  Mind you it was blowing up a nasty storm the likes of Katrina this morning in my neck of the woods.  What is the deal with March?!?  I know this happens every year, but I'm still shocked!  70 degrees one day and then bitter winds and snow the next?  NOT COOL MARCH!  Needless to say my outside searching in the pitch dark and frigid wind was no freaking bueno.

At this point it was 6:30 and if I didn't get my butt out the door the bell for first period was going to ring without me.  So I did something very humbling for a 26 year old adult and went upstairs, woke up my mom, and asked if I could borrow the keys to the Subaru- my little sister's car. (Ummm... you all know that Bubs and I are still holing up in my mom's basement, right?  It's been a dream and someday I will tell you all about how we thought we had plans for one thing but then God said no and gave us different plans and how it all worked out beautifully.) (Also I feel more comfortable referring to Greg as Bubs sometimes.  I feel like Hubs is outdated and overused and getting kind of corny.  And Bubs is what I call him in real life.  So... from here on out he might be Bubs.  Or Hubs.  Or Greg.  Or Ginger.  Whatevs)

Sheesh who keeps getting me off topic?

Back to topic and the topic is my keys were missing and I had to ask my mom to borrow the car.  She said yes and it was really no big deal driving the Subaru to school except for it's a gas guzzler and I couldn't get my favorite talk show people on the radio.

Now it is 7:41 pm and I am home and once again searched high and low for said keys.  Surprise, Surprise they are nowhere to be found!  How does that happen to a person?!?

Oh, I know how to find them!  Retrace steps!

+Came home from school yesterday afternoon WITH KEYS.  I know this for sure because my car is parked in front of the house.
+ Was talking to Akasha on the phone when I turned off the car.
+Still talking to Akasha, walked inside and threw away a cup from the car.
+Still talking to Akasha laid on the bed.
+Finished conversation with Akasha and started flirting with Bubs who was at the computer.
+Went with Bubs in his car to the bank.
+Went inside the bank with Bubs to combine bank accounts (yes, we've been married two years and are JUST getting to this)
+ Got back in Bubs car.
+ Drove home and cooked rice to go with crock pot meal for dinner.
+Ate dinner. Cleaned up. Blogged.  Showered.
+Laid in bed and watch Downton Abby with Bubs until I fell asleep.
+Woke up, brushed teeth, dressed.
+Grabbed purse-- NO KEYS IN PURSE.

I have already looked in all possible places that anything yesterday could have led me.  On the bed, in the bed, under the bed, in the trash with the cup I threw away, in Bubs car, heck I even called the bank and they said, "No ma'am we don't know where your keys are and maybe you should stop acting like a sixteen year old and learn to keep track of them."  More or less.

What drives me the most crazy is this is probably the fifth or sixth time this has happened to me this year.  I go to leave for school and can't find my keys anywhere and it's enough panic and madness to make a woman hang herself.  (Whoa there Juliet!  Ease up on the dramatics!)  But seriously.  It's annoying.  How does the rest of the world keep track of their keys?  I am asking this in earnestness.  How do you keep yourself from losing your keys every darned day because apparently I can't handle it!

Also because I have now shared something totally embarrassing about me, it is now your turn.  What do you do that drives yourself absolutely crazy?  Any annoying habits you can't break?!?

OH!  And if you read this post and it dawned on you where my keys are PLEASE TELL ME!  I WILL GIVE ANYTHING!!!


  1. Been there! I have a "designated drop spot" where I put my keys, my jacket, and my purse. That's how I always know. What's annoying about me? I misplace just about everything else. The timer in my classroom, my book, and always my phone. I've left for work without my phone several times this year. Also, I am always late and therefore hurried and stressed.

  2. Oh man, I do this with my phone and keys almost every day. I need to get one of those keychains where you can track where your keys are on your phone. Good luck finding them!

  3. This is actually an almost daily occurrence for me: "Justin, do you see my car keys?" "Justin, where did I put my school keys?" "Justin, I can't find my wallet?" "Justin, will you call my phone, I don't see it."

    Poor Justin, he probably wants to duct tape all my things to me.

  4. Do you know the St. Anthony prayer? It'll work. IT WILL WORK. Do not ask how. Google that bad boy and get to saying it and promise God something and your keys will just about fall out of the sky and into your hands. Seriously, get to it. Also: get a pretty, pretty bowl. Put keys in it every single day. You will only lose them 2x a year this way (based on my stats..).

  5. This made me laugh so hard. I've done this a million times EXCEPT that they are usually in the DOOR. Which is so not cool. I might as well have said, "Hi there intruder. Don't even worry about breaking my window, here's the key. Make a copy and pass it out to all of your buddies".

    Good luck with the search!

  6. It's doesn't really solve your main problem, but you can get another set of your keys made that you keep in a totally different place. That way at least you can use those and get to work on time and resume the search in the evening.

  7. This was me in Provo all the time. Until I realized that I always left my keys in my coat pocket. Don't worry though, I found a solution. I moved to Oklahoma (ya know, the place where they don't even sell coats in the store), and now I never lose them!

  8. My keys always go in my purse if they are not actively being used, and my purse hangs on the same hook every day. Plus we each have a key to both cars on our ring AND a set of spare keys hanging in the office. We are never unable to drive our cars this way. (Oh and hubby hangs his keys on a hook by the door too.)

  9. I am terrible with losing keys so I bought myself a hook that is right next to the door, literally impossible to miss. As soon as I get in they go on the hook. Might want to try that!

  10. We have a pretty mirror and key rack RIGHT by our front door! If I don't put the keys directly on these hooks, there's no hope! It has really helped streamline a lot of mornings in our little apartment :)

  11. This happens to me ALL THE FREAKING TIME. It's ridiculous. One year in college my roommate had to give me a 3 strikes your out rule. As in... if I lost or forgot my keys more than 3 times she wasn't going to let me in anymore. It was bad. A couple weeks ago I lost my work keys for almost a week. They were in a random crevice of my car. Random.

    As cliche as it sounds, have you checked the refrigerator? Because I've definitely done that before.

  12. I have a place for everything. I ring holder for my rings, a hook for my purse, a hook for my keys, etc. Everything goes in its proper place once I get home. The keys are the biggest deal. If it weren't for that hook that I use religiously, I would have constantly missing keys. It's all about habit and consistency, my friend.

  13. Live in a small town where you can just leave the keys in your car at all times. Whoops, did I just tell the entire internet my car is outside, unlocked, with keys inside?

    Or, do what my dad always had us do- if your gas tank opens from outside, duct tape a spare to the inside of the little door. Works like a charm Until your neighbor sees you pop open the gas tank door, pull out your key, and drive away.

    OR…just higher a chauffeur to pick you up.

  14. This just happened to me like 2 days ago!! Except it was my house key, and luckily I just used my garage door opener until I found them. Mine had fallen off a shelf into my rain boots that I would never think of looking in. Maybe check in any shoes you had out? Good luck!! Also, I have a hanging spot right next to my door, really helps me keep track of those suckers.

  15. Anonymous10:39 AM

    I am THE worst at locking my door! I lock it all the time even if I'm just sitting in the room. It's not a problem for me, but I managed to always lock my roommate out... Whoops. At least no one can break in!

  16. Are they in the trash with the cup you threw away? I've done that more than once, unfortunately.

  17. Did you throw them away when you tossed your cup?

  18. Might want to try the trash can before you throw that bag away! May have gone in with the cup? Or try the Hubs Car? Or under the bed during the flirting? haha I'm so sorry, I really hope they turn up soon! :)

  19. Oh gosh I hate that feeling!

    A few weeks ago I was putting something in my back seat and set my keys on the roof of my car. Then I LEFT them there and drove 5 miles down the road! (I have a push button start) I got out to lock my car upon my arrival and couldn't find the keys. There they were....just sitting on the roof of my car. I was utterly shocked that they didn't fly off while I was driving!


  20. I don't lose my keys because I have remote ignition and I never have to take them out of my purse. (greatest thing ever) however, I have "lost" my credit card in our house a few times. I think I retrace my steps, don't find it, cancel it, then the next day randomly find it somewhere I had forgot that I'd been (like dresser in guest bedroom). So annoying!

  21. Let's see have you tried the washer? My husband keeps leaving my keys in his pants pocket and they get washed. My keys have been washed twice now. Oh and I leave my house keys in the front door. You know, at night when I lock the door so I can go to bed. Thank God for watching out for me or someone would come in and harm us or rob us blind.

  22. We have a key hook thank goodness! Plus Kyle and I each keep the other persons spare car key with our own.
    However I absolutely NEVER know where my phone is, it's bad! Kyle went so far a to try and buy some kind of alarm I could attach to it so I would be able to find it. At least I've never thrown mine in the dumpster like Kyle did once!

  23. As soon as I walk in the house I hang my keys near the door but if I forget I will run around going off my head looking for them like a crazy person

  24. I would either get a hook where the moment you come in the door you hang the keys on it, or get a key chain that makes a sound when you clap.

  25. I personally don't lose my keys. I have another problem. I ALWAYS lock my keys in my car. It happens on the sad.

  26. Bon, have you checked the cemetery???

    I have a key holder by the front door. Every time I walk in, keys go on hook. Every time I walk out the door, I know where to find the keys. In theory. Sometimes I forget to put them on the hook, but mostly I can remember. And that was a very funny/frustrating entry.

    For what it's worth, I like "Hubs" I think it's cute.

    And no, there's nothing about me that annoys me or embarrasses me.

  27. Oh, and multiple sets of spare keys... very good idea.

    Maybe you could ask Beck. She seems to be the expert at keeping track of things ;)

    I know once that she posted an entry about all the different bright colored big plastic coily key chains she got, she bought like five of them and made a bunch of spare keys. But then she lost the bag from the store she brought them home in.

  28. Oh man does this happen to me ALL THE TIME!!!!! I always tell myself that I will ONLY put them in ONE spot EVER.

    And that never happens...

  29. I bought a cheap little key hook from IKEA and mounted it by the front door. I'm in the habit of putting them there EVERY time I walk into the house. No problems-EXCEPT when my husband takes my keys and doesn't return them to said IKEA wall mount. Good luck!

  30. Pinterest search: "Key Phone Locator" because honestly, how many times do you lose your keys? (My answer: all the time) and how many times do you lose your phone when your husband isn't home to call it so it will make noise to be found? (My answer: All the time) Now, how many times do you lose both your phone and your keys? Not very often! At least for me. This is in my future.

  31. Pinterest search: "Key Phone Locator" because honestly, how many times do you lose your keys? (My answer: all the time) and how many times do you lose your phone when your husband isn't home to call it so it will make noise to be found? (My answer: All the time) Now, how many times do you lose both your phone and your keys? Not very often! At least for me. This is in my future.

  32. Have you been facing difficulties with your habit of forgetfulness? Well, I did, because I usually forgot to carry the keys of my rental home in the neighbouring city, Johannesburg, where I can spend a night, if I miss the last bus to my home town. However, I have saved the contact details of the Johannesburg based locksmith company, so that I can call them at the time of need. It’s the most recommended site for the people like me, who need to hire the local locksmiths at the affordable cost.