The Life of Bon: In defense of Juan Pablo

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

In defense of Juan Pablo

Can we talk about Bachelor?   I know this is so old news by now, but I still haven't talked about it with hardly anyone!  And I just have to!  I didn't even watch the finale until Tuesday and then yesterday was our anniversary so obviously I couldn't just ditch out on an anniversary post and instead write Bachelor gossip instead.  It wouldn't be fair to Greg!

But I did think about it.

There has been a lot said here there and everywhere about the finale and mostly about the after the final rose ceremony.  A lot of people said things but not me and now I feel left out!  I want to say something too!  I agree that Juan Pablo is not the best Bachelor ABC has ever chosen, but sheesh, that man is getting way more flack than he deserves.  People are hating like crazy!  So I present to you...


THE WOMEN TELL ALL:  I think the whole "let's jump on the hating on Juan Pablo bandwagon" began with the women tell all.  All of those girls were worshiping the ground he walked on during the show.  Then they all got dumped, all got together, and collectively decided that their ex boyfriend sucked.  Sorry, but it holds no credibility.  Just because he dumped you doesn't mean you can pretend you never liked him in the first place.  YOU DID.  Sharleen was the only one who stuck up for him and Andi is the only one who legitimately has the right to diss on him because she actually called him out ON THE SHOW.

You hate Juan Pablo?  Oh em gee, I hate Juan Pablo too!

THE FINALE:  Clare followed the exact same pattern of all the rejected before her.  Her whole "You're not the man I thought you were" was way too dramatic and over the top and really just a cover up so she didn't look like an idiot.  Had she said that to him after his dirty comment in the helicopter, I would have given her mad props.  But she didn't.  She let it go, didn't stick up for herself, and then stayed, hoping he would choose her.  Only when he didn't choose her did she "lose respect" for him.  Why had she suddenly lost respect for him?  Because she lost.  Pretty weak argument, there Clairey.  And the whole, "I would never want you to be the father to my child."  Freaking uncalled for.  I'm sorry, but that was low and unnecessary.

What? You don't wanna marry me and have my babies?  I just lost all respect for you!

AFTER THE FINAL ROSE: As far as the after the final rose ceremony goes... that whole thing was so awkward to watch and I do not blame it on JP entirely.  I admit that I really couldn't have cared less who won.  I don't really like JP and I don't like Nikki or Claire, so it was all the same to me.  When you don't really like someone, it's usually not too interesting to you if they start dating another person you don't really like.  

That being said, I don't think that their relationship was as bad as Chris Harrison made it out to be.  Chris made it so so awkward by repeatedly asking JP if he was in love with Nikki.  I mean once is fine, he got paid to fall in love on tv, but over and over again?  I felt like I was watching a complete train wreck that Chris was driving and with JP as his passenger.  They were both involved, yes, but Chris was responsible.  I know that JP acting like a total jerk and his whole "before Chris interrupted me" remark was obviously a little much, but Chris' job is to be the mature host and smooth over the situation, not to keep inciting him.  Also, after JP and Nikki were off the show Chris made two very snide, uncalled for remarks.  I was embarrassed for the network because of Chris' remarks moreso than JP's.  Chris first said something along the lines of "The Bachelor season is now over and I for one, am totally ready to move on" and the second one something like,  "Do you feel like you need to wash up after that?"  Really, Chris?  Wash up?  Come on, don't use the guy who just made you a ridiculous amount of money as some kind of meat to throw to the dogs.

I will again make it clear that I don't think JP is a quality guy and I don't think the relationship will last, but why is everyone so hung up over the fact that he hasn't said I love you yet?  They've been dating what, 4-6 months?  Two of those months on national television where he saw her maybe once a week and after that they have been dating in hiding, long distance, and over skype.  Realistically they probably haven't spent that many hours together.  And so, naturally, he probably isn't ready to say I love you yet.  Just because she is ready before he is doesn't make him a douche. (There are other things that made him a douche).  I just don't think it's fair to come at JP for not saying the L word.  I had a really good friend who dated a boy who moved incredibly slow.  He took almost a year to say I love you and more than that to know if he wanted to marry her.  I remember how painful it was for her- in our world of insta everything it was so hard to have everyone pressuring her and asking her if he had said I love you yet or if they had talked wedding yet.  It made her feel like there was something wrong with her because he moved slowly.  Now they are happily married and life is good and dandy for them and who in the world cares that he took three times as long to say the L word?  There is no certain amount of time that a man has to say it within to qualify as a "good boyfriend."

Even if he HAD said I love you to Nikki.  What would it have mattered in the long run?  The show has got like an 8% success rate, let's all be honest with ourselves.  Everyone is aware that the marriage proposal and declarations of love are basically all for show anyway, so I feel like we're all up in arms at JP for essentially not putting on a show for us.  All of the other ones delivered the show and we LOVED it, JP!  Now do the show!  And then after the others were done with their live marriage proposals and ceremonies and yada yada yada THEY STILL BROKE UP.  Emily Maynard broke up twice.  She played that show for a fool, getting the highest pay of any Bachelorette in history and a $250,000 wardrobe budget.  She ended up breaking up with BOTH men who proposed to her and basically has used the show to springboard her career and jewelry business.  And we love her for it, don't we?  No one's coming at Emily, I can tell you that.

Lastly, I think there is something that our American culture doesn't understand about Juan Pablo.  The man is a LATINO.  If ABC wanted a born and raised white American to do everything the way they thought it should be done in America, (Sean) then they should have gotten a born and raised white American to be bacheltheir or.  I spent 18 months in Argentina teaching the good word and one thing I learned very clearly is that latin men are... let's see... how do I say this... hot blooded.  In other words, they're horny.  Straight up.  All the time.  I don't know why.  They just have a lot of testosterone or something.  Yes, JP was a horndog with the women, but what did ABC expect?  Secondly, Latins say whatever the freak they want to and they don't care one bit if you take offense.  Their culture is not into all of the social niceties that ours is.  They call each other "gorda" (fatty) as a nickname!  Argentines would tell me all the time how bad my accent sucked, that I looked tired, that my dress needed ironing, that I obviously hadn't had time to do my hair that morning, etc, etc, etc.  You get used to it after awhile.  They don't sugar coat and dance on egg shells like we do here.  I'm not saying one way is right and one way is wrong, I'm just saying that that is part of JP's culture so the world can stop freaking out when they get a Latin who does exactly what is common in Latin culture.

End Rant.  

Juan Pablo, I did my best.


  1. sooo...... J stands for Juan Pablo? lol not Jemima

  2. I didn't watch it, but I've sure learned enough about it through the radio and social media, and I kind of have to agree with you. You pointed out several things that were unlikeable about him, but I'm with you-I'm not sure why not saying 'I love you' is such a great offense. Sometimes I can't really tell whether or not these people actually believe they will have a meaningful relationship (does Niki really think they're going to wind up married?), but if she is truly invested, isn't it better that he didn't lie? I'd be so ticked if a man told me he loved me when he really didn't. It's so difficult for me to comment, though, because I really don't know if any of these people truly think they can have a healthy relationship stemming from a tv show. If they do, I really don't understand that. Everything surrounding this show boggles my mind which is probably why I stopped watching about 5 seasons ago. ;)

  3. Right on! These women were DROOLING all over him, and the only reason was because he was The Bachelor. If they met him on the street they wouldn't give a crap. But all the women sound like whiny sore losers. If JP had said he's madly in love with Nikki and he's going to spend the rest of his life with her, people would be calling BS and say it will never last. If he doesn't say 'I love you,' then he's a jerk.
    I wonder how these women feel months later when they look back. How do they feel about themselves? You're crying over a man who dumped you, and 23 other women, over a 3 month period on TV? Really?

  4. I totally agree! I'm on spring break this week so I've obviously been watching the bachelor from the start bc I dont normally watch it and I wanted to see what all the fuss is about. I think I have about 5 episodes left. The two things that have stuck out to me is that everyone is mad he didn't say he loved her /// why are we mad if we know they always say it and they always don't mean it? And two the language "barrier" / Latino thing. I studied abroad in Costa Rica and panama, dated a Costa Rican for 6 months, and have been to 5 other countries in central/ South America and sorry but They are just not politically correct like we are jn the US... For that matter most other countries I've traveled to are not PC like we are but whatevs. I'm gonna withhold judgment on him until I watch the whole thing but so far I can't are what everyone is getting riled up about! I think it's gross that he used his daughter to make Claire feel bad but that's the only thing so far

  5. I agree with you. Here are my thoughts:

    Juan - Douche. why? He talked this big talk about being honest and while I felt he was good at accepting honesty, he wasn’t good about delivering it himself. He knows Nikki is in love with him and its clear he doesn’t love her. Let the girl go. I think most of us have been Nikki before, where you are head over heels for someone who simply does not reciprocate those feelings on the same level. poor girl. I don't judge her because by in my Nikki days, people tried to tell me the same thing but did I listen? No. She will see for herself one day.

    Women tell all – Bitter women. (except for Andi and Sharleen. Love them!)

    Claire – Girl please. She does not have a leg to stand on with this issue. She said it herself, JP told her that he doesn’t know her. If he doesn’t know her, what made her think he was going to pick her? If what he said was that offensive then she should have “peaced out” like my girl Andi. So for her to get that upset at the rose ceremony with fake and silly.

  6. I agree with you that many of the issues here are cultural - number one, there was obviously a language barrier issue at some points and number two, just as you said, he's LATIN. He's going to do a lot of things in his relationships that are different than us Americans would do, and everyone should understand that and take some his comments with a grain of salt.

    However, in Chris Harrison's defense (for his comments), Juan Pablo signed up to be the center of attention on an American television show. The least he could do was answer Chris' questions and not talk in circles forever and ever. I think Chris was just repeatedly asking the questions that us viewers really wanted the answers to. I would have been more satisifed with an "I'm not ready to say I love you yet" than a "we're keeping our relationship private." You're on the freakin' BACHELOR! Privacy is not a luxury you have on television!

    Also, TOTALLY agree with you about Claire! Umm, if a man says something dirty to you and also adds in there that he doesn't really know you (the week before you want him to propose), you should probably cut and run. Just sayin...

    Love your blog, Bonnie!!

  7. I never liked JP from the beginning, I had a feeling he would be a womanizer and he proved it right. I do respect that he wouldn't say I love you though. If he's not ready, they have no right to push him into saying it! He could have at least professed his feelings for Nikki though. Acted like he liked her a bit more....

    I heard that JP told them he was going to propose on the show (which was the big "surprise" CH kept talking about) but then didn't end up doing it which made the interviews even more awkward because Harrison had nothing to say.

  8. well said Bonnie. Well said.

  9. Alright I agree with you on the culture thing. I know that people were upset and saying he used the language barrier as an excuse but I know that maybe sometimes he did but I am sure other times it was a legitimate misunderstanding on both parts.

    Also I was not upset with him for not proposing or not saying he loved her but for the way he responded and acting like his had a right to privacy when he didn't. When he signed onto that show he knew what was coming and that his life would be an open book for anyone who wanted to watch. I don't think it is right to do the show and then not finish it out properly but refusing to answer simple questions like about where they might live or something.

  10. Anonymous2:23 PM

    Exactly what I was thinking! Well said girl

  11. I didn't care for him in the beginning either. I also heard that JP told the Producers that he was going to propose to Nikki on the ATFR show. That's why Chris kept pressing him. Not sure why he changed his mind. Supposedly, the Producers didn't care for him all through the show either.

  12. YES. Just... yes. I understand why people don't like him and their points, that's totally fine. But... how many of these have lasted? Hardly any! My only red flags for JP is 1) his family warned the girls. I feel like that's a big one. 2) I didn't like how Chris Harrison was acting, but part of me wonders why he was because it was so unusual. Either he just wanted to please the crowd, or maybe he saw and heard things we didn't off the air. However, everyone just lay off of JP.

  13. Oh my gosh, I literally posted a blog on Monday with this exact title. My niece left a link to this one because I'm pretty sure we are the only two people on the planet defending him.

  14. I'll admit that this post made me think. Your points were right on and made me wonder why it is that I dislike him so much. I totally agree with you, but I'll add that I'm certain that JP had absolutely no intention of proposing to a woman or even falling in love during the show. And that annoys me. But shame on ABC for casting him because he was handsome and popular. I knew that this season would be a bust a long time ago.