The Life of Bon: I have no right to own a blog.

Monday, March 17, 2014

I have no right to own a blog.



I really love this picture of Greg and me.  It's at my favorite beach in all the world (because I go frequent so many beaches and all).  This is the picture I show to strangers when I am trying to convince them to come visit my blog.  I figure if I show them all a pic of a ginger with his shirt off in all his white glory they will be hooked for life.  Am I right or am I right?!?

On Saturday I met up for a small blogger lunch with AubreySue, and Dani. It was my first time meeting Sue and Dani.  They both have adorable craft and diy blogs and asked me what I blog about.  I always feel incredibly vain and narcissistic when I say my blog has no real point other than to talk about myself.  The truth is, I have no business being a blogger.  I try to cook delicious, healthy food and I want desperately to have a home filled with beautiful designs and ideas that will inspire others, but I always fall short.  I am the worst blogger in history because I am totally inept at everything blogger related.  If bloggers are supposed to be good at it, you can pretty much count on me sucking at it!

FOR EXAMPLE:

1.  Home design.  I ain't got the vision.  In my head I think I can see how something will turn out and then at the end of the day all I've got is weird colored walls and a bunch of voodoo dolls and porcelain plates from junk sales.  In my first apartment after getting married I had the genius idea to paint the walls lime green.  Not just one wall, either, ALL THE WALLS.  Go big or go home, right?  My husband said he felt like he was living inside of an avocado, which I mean, hello, is my husband rude or what?  Others commented they felt like they were attending a Mexican fiesta.  Hey, I love parties and I love avocados, so no problem for me!

Ugly.

Within two months I had a splitting headache anytime I walked in the door, so I knew I had to change something in our apartment.  My remedy was to paint the bedroom walls burnt orange.  Totally logical solution, right?

Yes, it was a terrible, yes it looked awful, and no I will never be a home designer.  But can the blogging gods please still let me keep my little blog?  Pretty please?!  (For the entire lime green saga- which ended with an experiment in royal blue- wall saga check out this post and then this post and then this post.)

Uglier.

2.   Cooking.  I actually don't mind cooking so much.  BUT.  I hate grocery shopping and I hate cleaning up.  If I could figure out a way to prepare my meals without those two bad boys, then I'd be good as gold.  Well, I guess there is the other problem that I can't seem to make anything taste like it's supposed to. Sunday I made cupcakes for friends and left out the baking soda, I burn 80% of the food that finds its way into our oven, and I always eat food after the expiration date.  What can I say?  I'm a cooking catastrophe waiting to happen!  (That's not to mention the pot roast that was supposed to be so juicy and tender that turned out tough as can be.)

3.  DIY/ crafts.  I've never understand the idea of DIY.  Why do it yourself when you can have someone else do it for you?  On Saturday Dani showed me this cardigan that she had so adorably put heart shaped elbow patches on.  My first thought was not, "How can I do that?" but "How can I convince Dani to do that for me?"  Once I got real schmantzy pantzy and tried to make toilet paper wings for my dog's Halloween costume.  It was a disaster, start to finish, and ended with me crying on the floor with glue and glitter stuck to my fingers and a hyperactive dog eating the crap out of all the toilet paper rolls.  NEVER AGAIN!


There you have it folks, all the reasons why I have absolutely no right to own a blog.  I can promise you nothing in terms of recipes, design, or DIY.  I can promise you a lot of fun, constant laughs, (usually at the expense of high school students.  Such an easy target!) and the occasional post full of my infinite insight and wisdom.  Maybe?

And TOMORROW I can promise you that you will know the gender of our baby.  Our ultrasound appointment is this afternoon and we could not be more excited to know the gender.  We're 21 weeks, they better be able to tell what the little nugget is inside of me!

23 comments:

  1. I can totally relate to your list! Though I love cooking, my interpretation of comfy isn't cute knee-high socks with an equally adorable top—it's a sweatshirt with a pair of bright blue sweatpants I've had since high school. Life can't always look perfect. :)

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  2. hahah! this is so funny! I'm thinking it'll be a GIRL!

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  3. I'm the same! Cooking-if I never have to do it again I'd be thrilled! I post recipes very rarely and I'm trying to cook just to be fair to my husband but i don't enjoy it like he does. DIY-why? I haven't got a crafty bone in my body!

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  4. I'm the same way! I used to have a blog called read, eat, create except I always ate the food before I could photograph it and I never created anything except excuses about why there was never DIY projects on the blog. That one didn't last too long!!

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  5. Girl, what were you thinking with those walls lol! I admit i think i have great vision, but my vision rarely translates well into real life when dealing with paint colors so i feel you. I agree with you on the DIY thing, unless its really saving me money i dont do it.

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  6. Wow those walls are really unique! I mean, I love my bright colors but that is BRIGHT! Ha, but don't worry, I still so very much love your blog, and you have every right to be chatting us up!

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  7. You know I think what you have to offer is personality and humor. People like following along because what you write always has a comical spin to it. Even if its about nothing I love reading posts that are sarcastic and humorous. Probably why I keep coming back.

    Also gender guess (since you asked and all)...boy.

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  8. I think part of why you're such a great blogger is that your stories are so entertaining. You don't have to be the best at any of those, and honestly it makes for better content when you're the opposite of that! Its life quirks and the fails we make while trying to do things that make other bloggers feel like they can relate!

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  9. I have crazy bright walls too. Only after I painted them did I realize that most people do an accent wall not the whole room orange or red. I don't live up to others ideas of design though so I'm good with my fiesta house. Such a brilliant idea about finding someone else to DIY for you. Forget the hassle and just pay someone else. I like.

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  10. Ooh how exciting!! Good luck tomorrow!

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  11. Well, then thank you for creating the blog niche of nothing writers. Count me in ;)

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  12. Those walls are bright... but at least you took a risk! My idea of being stylish is to have black and white stripes... on everything.

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  13. Dani's cardigan is so adorable huh?!?! Jana and I raved about it at BYBC this year. And it sounded so simple to make, and then I just don't know if I have that motivation haha

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  14. OH I AM SO GLAD I MET YOU! You crack me up, lady. What's hilarious is that I was reading your blog Saturday (in the bathroom of the Barnes & Noble we apparently were both in after lunch - yep, I read on the toilet - don't we all?!), and I totally thought, "Oh my heck, I wish I could blog about my life and be as adorable as Bonnie!" So I think we all think we are bad at DIY and crafts and lifestyle and sewing and all of it. The awesome thing is to just be REAL and be YOU. I want to come to one of your round tables sometime!

    (also, I LOL'd at the "living inside an avocado" part. Sounds like something my husband would say! Rude husbands are the best.)

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  15. You offer humor, light, love, and usually one heck of an entertaining story. There's so much more to blogging than crafts, DIY, food, and styled homes. We've got Pinterest for that. Blogland is for people.

    Love your blog, girl. Keep being you.

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  16. haaaa! sometimes i feel this way too but that's the beauty of the internet-we get to put whatever we want out there AND we can even paint our walls whatever color we want (that has nothing to do with the internet). just stumbled across your blog and i'm loving it!

    but since i use wordpress-it doesn't love that i have multiple websites on my account so i cannot sign into blogger. my site is www.thenewwifestyle.com :)

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  17. Hahaha the first picture made me laugh so much. 'I like parties and I like avocados'

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  18. We have the same favorite beach!!!! I love your blog because it either makes me laugh or it makes me think--both things I love doing. :) Hmmm....I think baby is a girl!

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  19. This post made me laugh so hard, I love it! I had a friend, growing up, who painted her walls hot pink and bright orange. I got a headache every time I stayed the night there.

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  20. I am none of those things either! I am happy when I make something edible and my house doesn't look like a college apartment.

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  21. i like the wall colors, you just needed to add a TON of art and stuff on top. Those kinds of colors only work in a really um ... eclectic ... house

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  22. That living room is hideous.

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  23. This made me laugh: My first thought was not, "How can I do that?" but "How can I convince Dani to do that for me?"

    Same. Even hauling the sewing machine up from the basement (to then reconstruct the wheel every time to figure out how to use the damn thing because I go months (years) in between using it) is too much work.

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