Lately Greg and I have been making a lot of big decisions. Huge decisions, actually. Decisions that will alter the rest of our lives- that will carry effects and ramifications not only for a year or two, but for decades and lifetimes.
For the most part, we've made these decisions quickly. Rashly, even. Stupidly?
Last May we decided to NOT move to California to pursue acting for Greg. We had been planning on this since we got married. We decided in a period of about 36 hours that we weren't going to do it.
In June Greg told me he wanted to go off of birth control. He told me that on a Friday, and by Sunday I had agreed. A week later we were officially "off", and by November we were pregnant.
One day in October I saw a random listing for a red toy poodle. I showed the picture to Greg. Two hours later I was on my way to pick the little guy up.
Four weeks ago there was an opening at my school for a theater teaching position. There was a whirlwind, a crazy tumult, screening interviews and second interviews, and before we dared even tell anyone about the interview, Greg had the job. We said yes before we could even think twice.
This week we decided to add another quick decision on to the mix.
We made an offer on a house.
Our lease is up on our apartment on July 31. We knew that with both of us with steady jobs close by there was no reason to keep renting. Might as well throw some money down and make an investment, dig our heels in for the long haul, and start paying mortgage on a house. You know, something bigger than one bedroom. A garage perhaps? I mean, those kinds of digs still exist, right...
A fellow English teacher at my school does real estate, and she pulled a bunch of listings for us. On Wednesday we looked at three townhomes. We hated two and loved one. And when I say loved, I mean loved. Head over heels, madly, crazily in love. Couldn't take our eyes off of, wanted it bad kind of love.
The one we love was actually a model. BUT. The exact same town home is being built literally a block from where we live now. We could stay in our neighborhood, stay within our same church community, and basically hand pick the features that we wanted for the townhome- countertops, tile,cabinets, etc. There are four townhomes going up, two have already been sold before even being listed. The two remaining townhomes would be listed on Friday.
I was leaving town Thursday and Friday- we couldn't afford to wait for the weekend to pass us by. It was the exact location we wanted, we could get all the features we wanted, and it was the perfect size and price range for our little family. If we waited until after the weekend, chances were good that the town home would be gone, gone, gone.
Greg and I looked at the property. We thought about it for about an hour. And then we made an offer. Because. I mean. Why not?
There's a line from John Green's The Fault in our Stars that I really love. Hazel describes how she falls in love with Gus, "I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once." In a way I feel this way about mine and Greg's decision making. In many ways it feels so sudden- so "all at once". But really, it's not. Really they've been decisions that have been in the making for months and even years. Things that have been stirring around in the back of our minds, decisions that have been forming, emerging, developing. And then when the time comes to make the decisions, we have made them the way you fall asleep- quickly and all at once.
There's something about this method of decision making that in some way is terrifying. It is also incredibly liberating. When you feel something is right, you just go with it. You don't second guess yourself around every corner. You don't worry and fret and stay up late at night wondering if you've made the wrong choice. My mom likes to exhaust every possibility before she commits to anything. I remember when I was engaged, my mom and I had found a reception hall that I really liked. But we found it pretty early on, and it didn't seem like we had quite looked hard enough. My mom insisted we see several more reception centers, just to make sure we had found the right one. Even though she liked our choice, she couldn't commit until she had seen everything that was out there and had determined that she was making the very very best choice.
Sometimes I wonder if I should be more like this. Should we have looked at more than three townhomes? Should we have scoured the valley for the best deal, the best square footage, the very best location possible? With enough work and time we maybe could have found something equal to what we were getting but $10,000 cheaper. Or with a bigger backyard. Or more bedrooms.
But we didn't keep looking, we made an offer on what we liked, and now we sit and wait for the whole thing to be final.
And it feels great. And very grown up.
I guess that just about rounds up the year as far as big events for the Larsen clan.
Full time career.
Now. If someone can just teach me how in the world a car seat works....