The Life of Bon: S@$% Bloggers Say. (And Quit Yer Cursing!)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

S@$% Bloggers Say. (And Quit Yer Cursing!)

I am over my case of the grumps.

Because I know you've been really concerned at all.
Snow cones, swimming pools, cuddling on the couch, and The Bachelorette will do that to you- all things that have filled my life in the past 24 hours.  Oh yah, and I got some free windex today.  SCORE!

Unfortunately for me I've got 120 short stories, 240 portfolios and 240 notebooks to grade before I peace out for Memorial Day weekend.  That's right.  You read correctly.  That's a lot of grading and it's time like these that I hate my job and I hate myself for trying to be a good teacher.

Repeat after me: I do not want to be an English teacher.  I do not want to be an English teacher.  I do not want to be an English teacher

ANYWAY... I've got to go.  Those portfolios don't grade themselves.  To entertain you while I'm gone I have found the second funniest girl on the world wide web.  I think we all know who the first funniest girl is.  Ellen Degeneres obviously.  Anyway, this Taylor chick and her website are pretty bomb.  She's sarcastic, witty, and snarky- everything I look for in a woman.  Visit her blog.  You ain't gonna regret it peeps.

Hello Life of Bon readers!
My name is Taylor and I blog over at The Daily Tay
(original blog name, I know.)

I'm the one in the apron.
And in case you were wondering the answer is
Yes, I do often walk around the house in a polka dot apron with a martini in hand.
You should try it sometime.

I live in Chicago with that handsome fellow you see smoking the cigar
and our insanely needy dog, Harlow.
I like to eat at restaurants I can't afford,
go to happy hours when I probably shouldn't,
and spend too much time watching Saturday Night Live wishing it was me
performing the "Gilllly" skit.

Over at the Daily Tay I blog about all sorts of shenanigans like the fact I (like Bonnie) have intense road/parking rage and sometimes find myself leaving angry post-its on stranger's cars, the movement I'm trying to start called WWED (What Would Emily Do), and the book I just published called "A Bottle For You. A Bottle For Me."

It's a children's book that probably shouldn't be read to children.

Oh yeah, I also like to blog about blogging.
Like this one for instance:

S@*% Bloggers Say:

So how do I get more followers?
Html is like really complicated.
I'll google the code.
I need sponsors.
Do you think I have enough followers for sponsors yet?
Do you have a button?
You totally need a button.
Button swap?
I got over 1,000 views today!
I hardly got any views today.
Do you think if I leave a comment she'll follow me back?
Omg ____ just followed me! That's like a big deal!
Why didn't ____ follow me back? I don't get it.
I just really have to write a post tonight.
I have nothinggggg to write about.
For real, what should I write about?
My post was such a force today.
I have a feeling this post is going to get a lot of hits.
Blogging is actually a lot of work.
That's totally going on the blog.
I just really want to get more followers.
Should I pay someone to design my blog?
Have you noticed a lot of the popular bloggers are Mormon?
Maybe blogger Gods just like Mormons more. (Or maybe I just say this.)
Why won't this format right?
Why is the text being so weird?
Why won't this center?
It's like frozen.
I am going to freak out on blogger right now.
Blogging is actually pretty hard.
She has like so many followers.
Will you take a photo of me real quick?
Hold on, I need to get a photo for the blog.
Yeah, it's for the blog.
I just wish my blog was prettier.
Blogging is like my full time job.
I wish blogging was my full time job.
I'll just do a giveaway.
Did you sign up for her giveaway?
I really thought I was going to win that giveaway.
I just really wish blogging was like my job.
I got three new followers today! That's like a lot in blog world.
I need more followers.
I think I might write a book...
If you liked this, also check out S%*$ Bloggers Don't Say
Okay, that's it.
Thanks for reading,
and don't be afraid to stop by sometime!


Check her out.  She's hot.  And she's funny.  And she has a polka dotted apron.  You ain't gonna find that anywhere else on the world wide web, believe me guys, I've looked.

P.S.  Don't forget to enter the giveaway before Saturday. Shhh... A little secret between you and me... not too many have entered yet so your chances of winning are good.  GOOD I TELL YOU!


  1. I feel your grading pain! Hang in there :).

  2. Oh goodness ... Taylor. so freaking hilarious, as always. And yes, hot. Definitely hot. Awesome guest post.

  3. That was awesome! I hope your grading goes by quickly!

  4. I keep throwing around the idea of getting my English Cert. (I have a BA in English), but you make it sound awful daunting! I hope that you get it all done fairly quickly!

  5. ugh grading papers doesn't sound fun and i'm running over to say hi

  6. This is hilarious!!

  7. Well, hello there. I'm a new reader from Taylor's blog. Love love loving you already. You, my friend, are a hoot. And anyone who deals with teenage punks EACH AND EVERY DAY is a goddess in my book. You rock and I cannot wait to see what you've got in store.

    xox, Dana