S@$% Bloggers Say. (And Quit Yer Cursing!)

I am over my case of the grumps.

Because I know you've been really concerned at all.
Snow cones, swimming pools, cuddling on the couch, and The Bachelorette will do that to you- all things that have filled my life in the past 24 hours.  Oh yah, and I got some free windex today.  SCORE!

Unfortunately for me I've got 120 short stories, 240 portfolios and 240 notebooks to grade before I peace out for Memorial Day weekend.  That's right.  You read correctly.  That's a lot of grading and it's time like these that I hate my job and I hate myself for trying to be a good teacher.

Repeat after me: I do not want to be an English teacher.  I do not want to be an English teacher.  I do not want to be an English teacher

ANYWAY... I've got to go.  Those portfolios don't grade themselves.  To entertain you while I'm gone I have found the second funniest girl on the world wide web.  I think we all know who the first funniest girl is.  Ellen Degeneres obviously.  Anyway, this Taylor chick and her website are pretty bomb.  She's sarcastic, witty, and snarky- everything I look for in a woman.  Visit her blog.  You ain't gonna regret it peeps.

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Hello Life of Bon readers!
My name is Taylor and I blog over at The Daily Tay
(original blog name, I know.)

 

I'm the one in the apron.
And in case you were wondering the answer is
Yes, I do often walk around the house in a polka dot apron with a martini in hand.
You should try it sometime.

I live in Chicago with that handsome fellow you see smoking the cigar
and our insanely needy dog, Harlow.
I like to eat at restaurants I can't afford,
go to happy hours when I probably shouldn't,
and spend too much time watching Saturday Night Live wishing it was me
performing the "Gilllly" skit.

Over at the Daily Tay I blog about all sorts of shenanigans like the fact I (like Bonnie) have intense road/parking rage and sometimes find myself leaving angry post-its on stranger's cars, the movement I'm trying to start called WWED (What Would Emily Do), and the book I just published called "A Bottle For You. A Bottle For Me."

It's a children's book that probably shouldn't be read to children.

Oh yeah, I also like to blog about blogging.
Like this one for instance:

S@*% Bloggers Say:

So how do I get more followers?
Html is like really complicated.
I'll google the code.
I need sponsors.
Do you think I have enough followers for sponsors yet?
Do you have a button?
You totally need a button.
Button swap?
I got over 1,000 views today!
I hardly got any views today.
Do you think if I leave a comment she'll follow me back?
Omg ____ just followed me! That's like a big deal!
Why didn't ____ follow me back? I don't get it.
I just really have to write a post tonight.
I have nothinggggg to write about.
For real, what should I write about?
My post was such a force today.
I have a feeling this post is going to get a lot of hits.
Blogging is actually a lot of work.
That's totally going on the blog.
I just really want to get more followers.
Should I pay someone to design my blog?
Have you noticed a lot of the popular bloggers are Mormon?
Maybe blogger Gods just like Mormons more. (Or maybe I just say this.)
Why won't this format right?
Why is the text being so weird?
Why won't this center?
It's like frozen.
I am going to freak out on blogger right now.
Blogging is actually pretty hard.
She has like so many followers.
Will you take a photo of me real quick?
Hold on, I need to get a photo for the blog.
Yeah, it's for the blog.
I just wish my blog was prettier.
Blogging is like my full time job.
I wish blogging was my full time job.
I'll just do a giveaway.
Did you sign up for her giveaway?
I really thought I was going to win that giveaway.
I just really wish blogging was like my job.
I got three new followers today! That's like a lot in blog world.
I need more followers.
I think I might write a book...
If you liked this, also check out S%*$ Bloggers Don't Say
Okay, that's it.
Thanks for reading,
and don't be afraid to stop by sometime!

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Check her out.  She's hot.  And she's funny.  And she has a polka dotted apron.  You ain't gonna find that anywhere else on the world wide web, believe me guys, I've looked.

P.S.  Don't forget to enter the giveaway before Saturday. Shhh... A little secret between you and me... not too many have entered yet so your chances of winning are good.  GOOD I TELL YOU!