The Life of Bon: Five ways to STAY in Love

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Five ways to STAY in Love

This is a guest post I did a couple of weeks ago.  I was rereading it today and realized, Hey!  I actually had a lot of good old fashioned intelligence in that post, and yet I never shared it with my very own readers.  They need to learn from me!  They must partake of my wisdom! 

Hence.  Here is it is.  Partake.

Hi.  I'm Bonnie.  I am a marriage and family scholar and counselor so naturally, I know everything about marriage.

Oh, I'm sorry, did I say I'm a marriage scholar?  Because I'm not.  That was a lie. 

Oh, and did I say I am a family counselor?  Yah... I'm not that either. 

Actually, if you're going to start hounding me for the truth, I might as well fess up. I know nothing about marriage or family except for the fact that I am in a marriage and I'm in a family.  But that counts for something right?

You see, I've been married barely over a year, and we have hiccups in our marriage all the time.  Every day even.  Roadblocks, problems, trials, things we gotta work through together.  I don't know everything, that's for sure, but I guess I know one or two things that I could share with you.  Or even three.  Or maybe five.  Yah.  Let's go with five.

Five Ways to Fall Stay in Love
(Because it's easy to fall.
But how easy is to stay falling forever?)
This is me and my husby. Some call him Greg.  I call him whatever I want.
This picture is proof that I am actually in a relationship
and not just some bum living in a trash can telling you how to live your life.

1.  EAT TOGETHER.  I think we often undervalue the importance of meal times.  It's easy to let other things get in the way, and dinner becomes something that often falls by the wayside.  Greg and I make it a priority to eat dinner together as often as we can.  This means sitting down at the table to eat without the TV, computer, and cell phones.  It is our time to talk, to catch up, to joke, and just to communicate.  Without dinner together, I wonder if we would ever have time to just talk.

2.  PLAY TOGETHER.   I'm a huge supporter of couples having their own identities and their own hobbies within a relationship.  However, I also strongly believe that there needs to be at least one or two recreational activities that a couple greatly enjoys doing together.  Greg and I both love volleyball, and we have a group of friends who we play with often.  For some it's rock climbing, for some it's biking, heck, even if it's a favorite TV show that you enjoy watching together, as long as it is something you both enjoy and that you enjoy doing WITH EACHOTHER.

(Parents, siblings, aunts and uncles.  Please skip number three.  Also students.)
3.  SHOWER TOGETHER.  Ow-ow, it's about to get steamy in here!  There is a powerful physical bond between married couples and it shouldn't be ignored or forgotten.  It needs to be given time and effort, just like any other part of a relationship.  In the beginning it comes oh-so-easily, but as soon as life and job and babies come along it gets harder and harder.  Make it a priority and make time to connect physically.

4.  CRY TOGETHER.  Some of mine and Greg's closest and most sacred bonding moments have been over great sorrow, disappointment, or heartache.  I know that when I am upset I can go to my husband.  I don't have to keep it in.  I share with him my struggles, and he shares with me his.  When I didn't get the job I wanted, we shared it together.  When Greg stressed over a relationship with a friend, we both stressed.  Someone else carries the weight with you, and suddenly it becomes much less of a burden.  

5.  PRAY TOGETHER.  Marriage is going to be hard no matter what.  It was never supposed to be easy to merge two completely lifestyles.  Everybody needs help in their marriage and everybody needs divine inspiration and guidance.  Of all the ways to bond with my husband- physcially, emotionally, intelligently- I think my favorite is spiritually.   I love hearing Greg pray for me and for struggles I'm going through, to know that he cares enough to take it up with God.  It's an incredible experience to pray with my husband, to feel close to him and closer to a higher power that is guiding your marriage.  

For more complete and utter wisdom on the topic of marriage you might want to check out Lessons at the Gyno, When Kim gets Divorced, and How to Not Kill Each Other the First Year of Marriage.

Also, because I know you care, here you can read about how I was affected by my favorite basketball team getting swept in the first round of the playoffs.


  1. Personally I wish #3 would happen more in this household so maybe one day it'll pick up.

    However I totally agree with everything you wrote, esp the dinner one. We do that nightly :)

  2. The first few years of being married are the hardest. It gets easier as you go along.

  3. I think you SHOULD do a Five Ways to Fall in Love ... I am 30, LDS and single. Eek. Clearly ain't that easy for some of us. ;) And yes, I did just type ain't and NO Google Chrome did not underline it, which teaches us all a valuable lesson: it IS word. :)

  4. Very cute post. I <3 it!

  5. Awesome post! I agree that all these are so important. Thanks for sharing :)

  6. I love this. I absolutely love this. It makes me even more excited to start a life together with my love :)

  7. number two is my favourite. Playing is key.

  8. You so so wise. I love this and agree with them all. I make it a priority to do all these things with my hubs too!

    Happy Weekend!!

  9. I love this list and I totally agree with the crying together one. I didn't realize it until I read that, but it is so true!

  10. Anonymous10:31 AM

    What a lovely list :)