The Life of Bon: How I know I'm not sexy

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

How I know I'm not sexy

The realization came to me hard and quick yesterday.  

Like a ton of bricks being dropped from the sky.

I am smart, I am funny, I am good at conversations.

But.

I am not sexy.

Oh there were clues along the way.  Believe you me.  There were clues.  

Like when my dad used to tell me "Don't smile so big."

Or when I would have a crush on a cute boy and then he'd ask me if my best friend was dating anyone.

Or when I didn't kiss a boy all through high school.

Or when my brothers would introduce me to their friends by saying "this is my funny sister" but never "this is my cute sister."

Yes.  There were always clues.  But like any person who can't handle the truth about themselves, I for 25 years chose to ignore these clues and instead lodged them somewhere in the deep, dark abyss of my brain never to be retrieved.

Yesterday I could ignore the clues no longer.

The situation went like this.  I was lying on the couch in what I thought was a sexy pose.  Hubs was in the kitchen making a sandwich.  And because I was feeling particulary sexy for some reason, I made a sexy face to Hubs.  You know the face.  The "I love you, I want you, come here now!" face.

Hubs looked at me.

And then, in complete seriousness said to me,

"Are you trying to sneeze?"

And that was when I finally, absolutely, sincerely, genuinely, one hundred percent, without a doubt knew.

I am not sexy.


What this doesn't do it for you, Hubs?  HUBS?!?

(originally published November 8, 2011.  Still applies.)

23 comments:

  1. i'm with the commenter above here: funny is totes sexy. so is totally being yourself, which, well, you have got down to a t, sister. own it!

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  2. Haha! I try sexy faces to boyfriend all the time to which he says "stop wrinkling your chin it's weird" you're not alone!

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  3. Bahahhaaa .. what a fun read!!

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  4. Wait, is this a post in which you just re-posted yourself?

    Bc that you means you've officially made it.

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  5. Bahahha this cracks me up! Like Kerry said, own your sexy face! It's probably just as good (if not better than) as all of ours, we just don't admit it to ourselves. ;)

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  6. Lol I am SO not sexy either! I'm way too awkward and weird to be sexy!

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  7. Lmao! Are you trying to sneeze? Oh my! Love it! Also sounds like my hubby!

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  8. I was at a bar the other day and observed a table of attractive English guys casually hitting on a table of attractive girls. Damn, they had it so easy. I've always had to rely on wit and humor to get phone numbers.

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  9. There`s nothing more sexier in women, than her sense for humor and her self-confidence!

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  10. Well I'm definitely not sexy. I'm too clumsy and awkward and too Self conscience. And plus my mother tells me I'm too up-tight! Lol.

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  11. You, my dear, are one of my new favorite blogs. You know, one of those blogs that you follow and ACTUALLY read when it pops up in your feed.

    I'm diggin' it! Keep up the awesome work!

    Samantha @ http://houseofvickers.blogspot.com/

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  12. I came to terms with the not sexy thing a while back...now I just do ridiculously unsexy things to make hubby laugh, because if I actually try to be sexy...it kinda doesn't work out.

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  13. I love your posts as you have ways of keeping the readers really entertained. And that's one of the reasons why you're sexy! :)

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  14. oh man, this makes me laugh. im super awkward which seems to take away from any shot at sexiness i have. but, something to remember, sexy fades with age and a sense of humor only gets better with age. (at least that's what i tell myself to make me feel better)

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  15. whatever, never give up hope! i'm hoping i learn to be sexy one day!!!

    cute blog!

    www.RaisingSteppeSisters.blogspot.com

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  16. hahahahahaha this is hilarious.

    The post plus that picture haha

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  17. DISAGREE. hahaha but love this.

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  18. Hilarious, and you are not alone. I am so unbelievably AWKWARD when I am trying to be "sexy".. LOL

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  19. I think you're sexy.
    Too soon?

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  20. That picture is awesome!!

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  21. I'm a massive dork! Unsexy. But hey I'm claiming to be sexy because I also am sexy. It's one of those depends on my mood things. I know I'm not actually sexy but if I feel sexy that's good enough for me! (because, can a 22 yr old who loves Harry potter and twilight really be sexy)
    Ironically my blog is sexyselfconfidentwoman.blogspot.com ;-)

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  22. I love you lol! I might steal this blog post idea for my own blog, can I please? I will for sure link you in it! (i get like 2 people reading my blog anyways lol)

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