The Life of Bon: Teens are a little bundle of emotional death and other things parents should know.

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Teens are a little bundle of emotional death and other things parents should know.

All excerpts of student writing are used with the student's written consent.  All pictures of students are used with written consent from the student and guardian.

Recently I had my students write a "warm up" on what they think every parent needs to know about raising teenagers.  Here are just some of the freaking gold mine answers I go.  Teens for the win!

“ I think they need to know that they are a little bundle of emotional death! Most teens freaking suck! But then some are ahead of their generations and very wise, while others get high and flip their hair every two seconds! Ah! Teens…shipping them to boarding school is your best option."

“I feel like you are going to get a lot of interesting responses with this.  People are going to say stuff like 'Well, since my parents don’t get me everything I want I hate them and hope they die.  Also I have no job and don’t pay for my car or cell phone.' Then there will be one girl, there always is, who will blame her colossally b****y attitude on a combination of hormones and the way her parents supposedly treat her.  Then she will offer up the classic Marilyn Monroe quote, “If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best,” which isn’t anything except a license to be a huge b****." (Very observant kid- also hates his peers)

“Teens are just a handful!”

“Parents should know that all teens are hungry and they need something to eat when they come home from school and parents should ask the teens what do you like to eat and what do you want from me and I will do it for you.”  (Well, geez, wouldn't we all love that?)

"Parents usually say, "When I was your age..."  Well mom, dad that was 30 years ago so much has changed that you don't even know about.  My mom asks me to help her know how to turn on her computer.  Teenagers need more management than babies often do, but also require less attention than babies."  (WHAT?!?)

Yep.  I'm teaching Baby Einsteins over here and I love every second of it.

Well.  Maybe not every second.  But you get the gist.

P.S. If you're in the market for a new blog, may I recommend Zia's?  She's from Indonesia, used to call the U.S. home and is now living in Germany.  I love her international stories and experiences.  Also, this post entitled "I don't care if you blog for money" and the comments that followed were particularly interesting to me.  A great read if you've got a couple of minutes to spare.


  1. Hahaha funny post, I loved their opinions lol! And I'll definitely will be checking out those blogs, thanks! :)

    Leyla xx
    Leyla Writes...

  2. They still didn't tell you the good stuff! Because they don't want their parents to know about that! I have two teenagers one who tells me too much and one who tells me nothing. All I can day is that I am glad I am not a kid these days!!!

  3. This post is just what I needed to start my Thursday morning!! hahahaha Thanks for sharing!

  4. Anonymous7:40 AM

    Cracking up at this! "emotional death" that just about sums up my teen years! :)

  5. Oh teenagers. I like the one about needing more management but less attention. I kind of get it...

  6. Oh gosh, this SCARES me! My kids are four and five and this makes me wish time would stand still. Thank goodness kids come to us one day at a time, that's the only way we can survive it;)

  7. I feel like they could have gotten so much deeper. They meerly scratched the surface of what their parents need to know about raising a teenager.

  8. The food one... can we all have that please, though. These are too funny.

  9. Haha these are so hillarious! Every so often I think "maybe I would like to be a high school teacher" and then I come over here and let you fill that void for me.

  10. I love the crap kids say! I miss teaching English this year mostly because of things like this. My favorite ever was when my juniors had to write a reflection on Gatsby and the truth it speaks into our loves today and one boy started his paper, "Bill Gatsby was a man who started a computer company to make a woman love him." I laughed, I cried, I posted it on Twitter. Kids man.

  11. Hahah, these answers are classic!

  12. These are priceless!! Parents should know all teens are hungry. Got it.

  13. These are hilarious! I love teenagers' brains!

  14. This post reminded me of a time I had my 8th graders write about what being adolescents was like/ adolescence in general:

    And the one about them being hungry all the time? So true. Love it.

    Also reminds me of the advice I got from them while on maternity leave [my sub was AMAZING and she had them write a letter to Blythe about me, and write ME advice on parenting. I will cherish them always]:

    ^in case you want their parenting advice. ;)