Becoming a Man

It happened months ago for me.

The day I knew I was finally and truly a woman.  No longer some little kid pretending to bake cookies, no longer some wanna-be, but a real bonafide woman.

Hubs, however, has still been waiting to come into his manhood.  He was still dinking around, doing little boy things, laughing, joking, and NOT being a man.  And then... It happened.  This weekend.  We went up to my cabin and Hubs did man thing after man thing after man thing.  He built a fire, he rode a four wheeler, he caught a fish (all for the very first time!)  You better believe that Hubs toughened right up, threw that little boy out that window, and became a real bonafide man.

Isn't it nice when a bonafide woman finds herself a bonafide man?

Now please, let's all welcome Hubs to Manhood.  He's worked hard for this, people.

I was trying to take this picture while riding the 4 wheeler.
I swear I was not trying to make that face.
Just natural, I guess.

This has nothing to do with Hubs becoming a man, but admit it this baby is CUTE!
And she plays in rocks. 
Sounds like my kind of baby!

See Nick in the coke shirt?  He might just be the manliest man there is.
 He was Hubs' "become a man" master.

Can we get a round of applause for the new man around here?!?

For my dad

"Fathers, yours is an eternal calling from which you are never released... a father’s calling is eternal, and its importance transcends time. It is a calling for both time and eternity." -Ezra Taft Benson

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD! (Sunday)

and

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (Monday)

I miss you all the time. 

Love,
Bopper

I'm not ready for a baby, but...

I am ready for a ten year old!

I had an epiphany yesterday.  Like all good epiphanies, it came when I was flapping around in a disgustingly over crowded wave pool.  I was at the water park with my two besties.  Like we always do when at the water park, we tried our best to hit on the ten year olds.  Now, I'm no pedophile, but let me explain my deep and abiding love of ten year old boys.  You see, ten year old boys are the best because they're so fun, they're down for anything, and they'll always share their tube with you!  All you've got to do is make eyes with them and those boys will be obnoxiously flirting with you for as long as your little heart desires.  When you get bored you can just leave and those boys will forget any of it ever happened within three minutes.

I forgetting to take pictures at the water park.
Thus old pictures only remotely related will have to do.

Well, lately our style has been cramped a little bit because one bestie is weeks away from having her first little baby.  And it ain't easy to hide a huge old preggo stomach, even from oblivious ten year olds.  Lately they've been on to us.  Yesterday my pregnant friend was desparately trying to get those boys to share their giant three holed tube with three pretty girls, but they weren't having it.  I blamed it on her stomach.  She blamed it on my sassy attitude.  Whatever it was, we weren't successful.

Even ten year olds aren't stupid enough to miss this belly.

I started bemoaning the fact that I can no longer play with any ten year old I want.  Then I started thinking, what if I could have my own ten year old?  I could take care of him, feed him, buy him clothes, etc, if he would just hang out with me and do fun things with me all the time.  Heck, I'd even let the kid live with me, and heck, I'd even discipline him from time to time if he'd just give me all that sweet, innocent ten year old love.

Then I realized.

That's called a child.

I want a child.

Not a baby.  No, no, no.  Those babies are a lot of work and they're not very fun and they can't just go marauding the lazy river with you.  No no.  Want I want is a ten year old boy.

You see, I missed some kind of "maturing" stage in my life.  Everyone else seems to have gone through it but me.  I never mellowed out.  I love playing games, going to parks, pulling pranks, and pushing kids off tubes in the wave pool as much as the next ten year old.  I just never grew out of it.  I do believe I would be as happy as a lark in a meadow if my best friends were a group of ten year old boys.  No responsibility.  No drama.  No fights.  Just playing.

So... if you've got a cute ten year old boy that you're fed up... I'm in the market.  Just send him my way.  I'll play with him all summer long and then send him back to you just in time for school to start up again.

Books I Hate

Last week I did a post on my five favorite books, and what do you know, it was a huge hit!  I have heretofore (How's that for an awesome word?!) steered clear of writing about books because I was certain you would all think I am nothing but a big, fat book snob.  Turns out I was partially right.  You do all think I am a bit of a brat about literature... but you all LIKE it!  You like reading the opinions of a book snob!  So, I've decided to write more about books. Now, I ain't gonna go promising you weekly book reviews or anything like that because the minute I promise to do something is the minute I don't want to do it anymore.  Just know you will get random book posts whenever I feel so inclined.  Consider yourself lucky!

Last week we did my top five of all time.  This week I thought we'd go a little bit in reverse.  You know, the bottom of the reading totem pole.  As a rule, I always finish books.  I have finished absolute trainwrecks of books, believe you me.  HOWEVER, there are a few books that I just could not finish no matter how hard I tried.  There are also the ones that I will never finish because I never start them... you know, the books you have absolutely no desire to read.  And of course, there's the books I did finish but wish to all heaven I didn't because I will never get those hours of my life back and ain't that a crying shame?

So, without further ado, I present to you....

MY FIVE LEAST FAVORITE BOOKS

5.  Moby Dick.  Alright, here's a confession for you.  This is on the "I will never read" list.  I mean, the book's about a whale, for crying out loud.  I've never heard anyone say they like this book and it baffles me how it ever became a classic in the first place.  AND word on the street is that it's super long, and super thorough on the details.  AKA Slow and boring.  Is there anyone out there in the world that has read and liked this book?  If so, speak up now or forever hold your peace!

4.  The Time Traveler's Wife.  This one I actually started.  The funny thing is I saw the movie and really liked it so I figured I should give the old book a go.  It might have been the narrator's fault (I was listening to it on tape and boy, did he have an annoying voice!), but everything about the book completely creeped me out.  Like how he would talk and flirt with the little girl and tell her they were going to be married one day.  I get that the woman was his soon-to-be-wife and he knew it, but I just couldn't get over the weirdness of it.  And that the little girl hid him in a room, and that when he disappeared into a different point in time he never had any clothes.  All I kept thinking is, "Dang!  That man must spend a lot of money on clothes if they keep getting left on every corner."  I might've got halfway through before I realized that life is too short to read stuff like that.

3.  The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood.  I started the book, got about 100 pages in, and then had to put it in my very small pile of "started-but-not-finished" books.  I thought it would be a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants type of book, light and fun, but instead it was just heavy and kind of weird.  I don't mind heavy reading at all, but I think the book was trying to be light and carefree and then it just came off SO heavy.  You know when you have a conversation with someone who appears to be very happy, but then all of a sudden she's telling you a bunch of awful, terrible things about her life?  But she's smiling the whole time and acting like she's fine, but it's pretty obvious there's some serious issues there?  That's what I felt like was happening when I read this book.  The main character is totally abusive and she's one of the original "Ya yas"... she was just so unlikable that I couldn't stand to read about her.  Actually, that's how I felt about all the "ya yas"... not much to like about them as people.  It also bothered me how their friendship seemed to come above all else... above their relationships with their spouses, their kids, their parents, etc.  Not my cup of tea.

2.  The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.  I have started and not finished this book not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES.  I was supposed to read it in high school and didn't finish it.  Then, a couple of years later I decided surely my reading tolerance had improved and tried it again.  Didn't finish it.  Finally, my senior year of college I was supposed to read it for an American Literature class.  I got 30 pages from the end and then just stopped.  I had no desire to read the conclusion.  THIRTY PAGES LEFT AND THERE WASN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WANT TO FINISH.  There were times the book picked up and I enjoyed it, but most of it is just slow and it doesn't feel like it's ever building to anything.  The dialect is hard to read, there's a couple of weird kings, and then all this stuff happens to them that has absolutely nothing to do with the plot.  This is a standard book that all high school juniors are supposed to read, but I haven't taught it yet.  I just can't subject my innocent little seventeen year olds to this stuff.  Plus, I'm a firm believer that I shouldn't ever teach a book I don't personally love because the kids will all hate it, too.  What I don't get is why the freak isn't Tom Sawyer the great American classic?  That book is bomb and Tom is way cooler than Huck will ever be and I think we all know it.


And now, my very very least favorite book....

1.  I've gone off on Twilight before.  Now, before I go any further I just want you to know this.  Hubs loves Twilight.  He read all five (six?) of them in record time.   He just gobbled them up, couldn't get enough of them.  I love Hubs more than anyone in the world and I totally respect that he likes this book, I just don't have to like it too. So, if you happen to be one who loves Twilight don't be embarrassed, don't hate me, and please don't think I'm a book snob... just know that we can have different tastes in books and still be friends.

That being said... I could only stomach the first book... I'm surprised I even finished that one.  There's a lot of reasons I don't like Twilight, but the main one is Bella.  I have always been taught that all great stories, literature, and movies have in common a likable protagonist.  You have got to like the main guy.  End of story.  You have got to root for them, you have got to want them to succeed.  Now, your protagonist could be doing awful things (Oceans 11 for example, they're stealing millions of dollars) but you like the protagonist so dang much that gosh, you'll root for them no matter what evilness they're up to.  Twilight is the only book I have ever heard of to just absolutely throw that rule out the window and be incredibly, ridiculously successful.  I don't care if Bella becomes a vampire.  I don't care if she ends up with Jacob or Edward.  I don't care if she has millions of vampire babies who try to kill her because I DON'T LIKE BELLA.  I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER.  I would never be friends with her in real life, she has no redeeming qualities, and I literally felt her sucking the life out of me as I read the book.

There are other reasons why I don't like Twilight.  Poorly written, too many stock characters, too predictable, too many holes, etc, but I won't go into the details.  I would have been willing to look past all that had Bella been a little more Katniss or Hermione-esque.  You know, a girl I can cheer for.  That's all I'm asking for.

NOW... Spill your guts!  What are books you couldn't finish, books the masses love but you can't stomach, and books you would rather die than ever read?  

Love via an Eight year old

Good news people.

Sunday I was getting together with all the fam damily.  You know how it goes... dinner, dessert, drugs... Nope. Not drugs. I was going for three Ds.

ANYWAY... the point is this. It was a birthday celebration. Every month we celebrate everybody who is having a birthday that month. (You still with me people? This can get confusing when you've got seven siblings and fifteen nieces and nephews, believe me!)

ANYWAY... Please stop distracting me.  It's rude.  For birthdays in my fam damily everyone goes around and says why they love the birthday person.  You can imagine it makes you feel all good and warm and furry inside. Furry?  I think it's fuzzy.

ANYWAY... You know whose birthday it is this month don't you? MINE!  To celebrate, my 8 year old and 10 year old nephew so candidly told me why they loved me:

Davy, Age 8:

"I like Bonnie because she knows all the jokes."  That's right people.  ALL of them.  Now I like to think that my sense of humor is a little above an eight year old's understanding, but apparently he's been catching them all.  Touche, Davy. Touche.

Eli, Age 10:

"I like Bonnie, but lately she's been very unavailable.  Like ever since she got married.  I mean, she's always with Greg.  Which is cool too... I guess..."

Don't you wish you had nephews to make you feel furry inside?  And believe me, this isn't the first time my nephews have come up with some pretty stellar birthday tributes.

Lefty: Mad that I'm unavailable Rightie: Jealous that I know all the jokes

NOW... moving onward, I have got the most fantastic, original girl you are ever gonna meet in the blogging world.  I mean, COME ON, this chick wants to open up a yarn shop!  How's that for cool?!?  She's super crafty and super unique and I secretly wish I had half of her knitting talent.  So take it away Megan!

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Hi there!  I'm Megan, the writer behind A String of Purls!  I'm super excited to be here on Bonnie's lovely blog guest-posting (I'm not sure if that's a word or not, but okay!), and would like to tell you a little bit about me and my blog!  I'm happy to call a little corner of the blogosphere home, for almost a year now.  I call it a 'life and knitting' blog, but it's really so much more than that.  I write about the adventures I go on (a carnivorous plant store, for example), the pictures I take (portraits of my sister, neighbor kids, and my dog.  Not to mention my outfits!), and sometimes post tutorials (how to build a lightbox, or how to make a decorative yarn vase).  And, of course, I talk about all of the knitting I do!  I'm going on ten years, so I'm a bit of a veteran, and completely obsessed!

Now that you know what I do on my blog, here's a few (random) things about me:

I'm 20 years old, and heading into my third year of college.

I'm a psych major and business admin minor, and someday I'm going to open my own yarn shop!

I might be the biggest House fan out there.

I always wished (and still do) that I'd turned out to be left-handed.

I have a super unhealthy obsession with Malabrigo and Madeline Tosh yarn.

Speaking of obsession... I could live in Forever 21, or on Modcloth.

Purple has been my favorite color since first grade, although blue-green is a close second.

I could stare at Paul Wesley all day, and not get bored.  Maybe even for a week.  I take that back.  Easily for a week.  (I have to admit, my heart broke when I found out that he's married)

That's basically me in a nutshell!  I hope you'll hop on over to my blog to get to know me, and I you!  xx

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Now listen here Megan, when you open up that yarn shop I want half the profits, you got it?!?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF...

It was ten o'clock at night...

You had to make a late grocery run for some bare essentials...

You had just bought a cold 1 liter Orange Fanta for $1.79 for your darling Hubs...

You had your receipt in hand...

You were strolling out of the supermarket...

And right as you were leaving you saw...

A warm 2 liter Orange Fanta on sale for $.88?



WOULD YOU...

Keep walking and curse your luck?

OR

Grab the 2 liter Fanta...

Turn around to Customer Service...

Wait five minutes for the lady to get to you...

When it's already late and you're already tired...

Return the 1 liter Fanta...

And buy the warm 2 liter Fanta for a whopping $.94 back?

I'm not going to tell you which one I would do if I were in such a strange, obviously purely hypothetical situation.

But I am so interested to know... what would you do?

Watch out, Reality TV!

Social media is weird.

All of a sudden (and by all of a sudden I do realize that this has been going on for years.  But still.)  I have the ability to stay in touch with/ reconnect with people from every single stage of my life.  Some with crazy, interesting lives that I can stalk and creep on behind the safety of my computer screen.  Some who I most sincerely want to forget who creep on me.  Ah, the circle of life is a beautiful thing, isn't it?

Recently I got a message on twitter from a guy that was in a movie with me at BYU Hawaii.  "Hi Bonnie! I enjoy reading your blog.  Looks like we've come a long way since those cheesy student films we made," says a man I haven't seen or heard for six years.

CHEESY?!?!  Excuse me, but that film was quality, my friend!  Sheesh, I hate it when people insult my work.

Anyway... the point is this guy who was in this "film" with me still does acting, theater, and so he is quite in the know.  Or maybe he's a bunch of bullcrap.  You never can tell these days. Anyway he seems to have some kind of inside scoop and said MTV is making a new reality TV show called "Young and Married" where they chronicle the lives of couples who are, get this, YOUNG and MARRIED!  (Props to whoever made up the title, I mean, that bad boy is CLEVER!)  He then said he instantly thought of me and Hubs, since I already chronicle our lives on this oh-so-exciting blog, and that he could get me more information if I wanted.

WELL I'LL BE!  COUNT ME IN!

I brought it up to Hubs while we were on the way to see a movie on Saturday night.  (We saw Bernie.  One of the weirdest, and yet most fascinating movies I've ever seen.)  Hubs hopped right on that reality TV train, which I personally think is a little hypocritical of him because HELLO, I am the one who has always been the reality TV fan and he has given me guff for it and now he wants to be a reality TV star?!?  People these days! I think I deserve an apology, don't you?!?

The conversation went like this:

Bon Bon: We should try to be on this TV show called Young and Married
Hubs:  Ahhhh yah!  We're gonna get famous!
B:  It'd probably be real hard to get cast though.  Real competitive, you know?
H:  But I bet we could get on because we're Mormon.  (Have you noticed that all Mormons think they can get on TV just because they are Mormon?  Apparently, we're no exception.)
B:  Would you really want to do it though?  Think how hard it would be.
H:  It wouldn't be hard.  It'd be awesome!
B:  You'd have a camera in your face all the time.  They'd record all of our fights and the whole world would see it.
H:  Yah, and then I'd just look right at the camera and say "I'm a Mormon!"
B:  That doesn't make any sense.
H:  You don't understand, Bon.  I could do it.  If you don't want to do it, I'll do it by myself.
B:  You can't do it by yourself, it's called YOUNG and MARRIED.
H:  Yah, and I am married!
B:  Yes.  TO ME!
H:  No.  I am married to myself.
B:  That doesn't make any sense.

At which point we had arrived at the movie theater.  Obviously, as evidenced through this conversation about being on a reality TV show, Hubs and I would be the perfect reality TV couple.  Right?  Right?

Come on, back me up here, people.

Reality TV Gold?

How I know my husband secretly loves The Bachelorette

I guess you could say Hubs and I have spent some time painting this week. You see, he got a gig painting old, crappy apartments across the street from where we live.  My gig of teaching young, bratty teenagers has recently come to a three month pause.  And so, because I have free time on my hands, and because I'm such a good little wifey-poo (too much?) I help him to get the jobs complete.  He gets the apartment painted quicker, we both have something to do, and then we have more time to go to the water park together.  SHOUT OUT TO THE WATER PARK!

Sometimes we'll paint for three or four hours straight, or even more.  GASP!  Four hours of work, that's a crime!  You can imagine our arms get pretty tired and our clothes get pretty plastered.  When you're painting with one person for 4+ hours straight, you can run out of things to talk about.  So we often sit in silence- a comfortable, married, I know you better than any person in the world silence.  Every once in a while the quiet will be interrupted by a fleeting thought from one of us:

"What did you say was for dinner?"

"This apartment is seriously nasty."

"Oh, shoot, I never texted John back."

And this is how I discovered that Hubs secretly loves the Bachelorette.  He doesn't watch the show, but I tell him all about it, just so he can be caught up on pop culture, we all know how important that is, right?!?  I had told him the day before of my predictions, my picks, and all the ridiculous things that were said in this week's episode.  Here we were, 24 hours later, and Hubs interrupted my silent, private thoughts with this:

"So you really think the guy from Utah goes far, huh?"

TRANSLATION:  I AM THINKING ABOUT THE BACHELORETTE IN MY SPARE TIME AND WONDERING WHO THE FUTURE WINNER WILL BE.

TRANSLATION:  EVEN THOUGH I ACT TOO COOL FOR BACHELORETTE, I SECRETLY LOVE IT AND FIND IT INCREDIBLY INTERESTING.

A-ha!  We're onto you, Hubs!  You can't pretend anymore- you've been caught!  

My Top Five Fave Books... EVER!

I've been hesitant to write a post about books for a couple of reasons.  The first is that I'm kind of a book snob.  I find that the more I read, the less impressed I am by most literature.  The majority of books that the general population loves I find to be mediocre at best.  I have been afraid that if I posted about books I'd seem all hoitey-toitey and immediately drive my readers away, never to return to that book brat who thinks she knows everything just because she's taught English for a couple of years.

The second reason I've been hesitant is because... well... most people think books are boring.  I guess I've been surrounded by seventeen year olds for too long, but I keep thinking that everyone in the world besides me hates reading.  I guess I've just been afraid that the second I brought up books on the blog you'd all roll your eyes at me, secretly think I'm totally boring, and put your heads down on your desks.

But I'm afraid no more!  I've read a lot of books, dang it, so why don't I share that knowledge of books with the world?!?!?  And so, without further ado, here they are... my top five favorite books of all time!

5.  A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

How I sell it to my students:  The book's about a girl, Francie, growing up in New York, but she's dirt poor and she has all these crazy experiences.  She's madly in love with her dad, but he dies.  Then she has her first real love, and her first real heartbreak.  Also, she's got this crazy, scandalous aunt who gets married every year and calls all of her husbands "John" even though that's never their name.

Why I really love it:  This is the first book I remember really loving as young girl.  Any little girl can relate to Francie's story, no matter where or when they live.  Francie's emotions are so real- her heartbreak, her struggles, her passion. The book comes to life with details and has enough eccentric characters to keep you interested.

4.  The Help

How I sell it to my students:  The narrator is hilarious and full of sass and wit.  She's a white woman in the South who believes that the black maids, "the help",  aren't treated right.  So she tries to help them out, bu she's got all these really bratty friends who treat the help like crap.  Highlights include a bunch of toilets being left on a front lawn and someone eating a cake with poo in it.  Yes.  It really happens.  Also, the narrator falls for a totally hot guy, and who doesn't love a little romance?!?  Plus, they made a movie out of this.  DID SOMEONE SAY MOVIE?!?!

Why I really love it:  The pace of the book is fantastic, and even though it's 400+ pages, it never feels slow.  Skeeter is a perfect protagonist, courageous and lovable and just a little bit crazy.  Plus, it gives a look of life in the south that we don't see very much, and it's a great way to understand a lot of our nation's racial history. There are very few books that I literally lose sleep over- but this was one.  I stayed up until 4:30 am finishing it on a hot summer night and when I finally finished it I laid in bed, wide eyed, and replaying my favorite scenes over and over.

3.  Catcher in the Rye

How I sell it to my students:  First off, this book has TONS of cussing!  This kid has got a major attitude problem and he pretty much hates his life and every adult in the world.   He thinks everyone is a moron or a phoney. He gets kicked out of school, but he doesn't dare tell his parents, so he just hangs out in New York for a couple of days until Christmas break.  Although he acts like a major jerk, you can tell he's actually a real softie.  Oh and there's crazy stuff like prostitutes in the book.  Oh, and he cusses.  And cusses.  Cusses up a storm.  Oh, and did I mention there's a prostitute?!?

Why I really love it:  Holden Caulfield is one of the most "real" characters I have ever read about.  The first time I read the book I remember feeling so clearly that it was a real life, miserable, seventeen year old writing about his life.  And it is.  The book is clearly "immoral" (There's a famous story in my family where my grandpa marched down to the high school and complained that his daughter, my mom, should never have to read such filth ), but I believe that something can still be quality literature and still be worth reading even if it doesn't seem to be teaching good morals.  Holden really is a good kid, as evidenced by his constant worrying over his little sister and his references to his dead brother.  Above all, he's just a confused kid trying to figure out life and his place in it, and isn't that what we're all trying to do?

2.  To Kill a Mockingbird

How I sell it to my students:  It starts a little slow, but if you're patient with it you get to see this crazy court scene where a black guy is accused of raping a really poor white woman.  He totally didn't do it and everybody knows it but the town is so racist that they send him to jail anyway.  Then there's this crazy shut in, Boo Radley, who lives down the street and never comes out and the whole town gossips about why he's in the house.  Then there's this insane twist at the end- this book seriously has one of the best and most redeeming endings of any books I've ever read where someone tries to kill someone but someone else rescues someone else.  (Plus, the author herself is somewhat psycho.  She only wrote this one book, got way famous for it, and is now a total recluse and never comes out in public, much like Boo.)

Why I really love it:  Ah, where to start.  This book is pretty much the epitome of good literature to me.  The courtroom scene is awesome, of course, and no matter how many times I've read it (3 times in the last 3 years) I always cry in the last chapter.  The book teaches such a good lesson about people, and not judging, and letting people be more than you think they are.  There is such disappointment in the book, but also such joy and hope.  And the eight year old narrator, Scout, is absolutely hilarious.  I usually can't stand child narrators because I find them incredibly unbelievable, but Scout is so down to earth and so real to life you feel like she lives next door.  My favorite line "Pass the damn ham".  And of course, there's Atticus, the lawyer who fights for the black man.  Atticus is so humble, so unassuming, and tries so hard to teach his kids what's right.  He's one of my all time favorite book characters and I get all choked up everytime he gives his courtroom monologue.  One of the most quality books out there and if you haven't read it you are doing yourself a great disservice.

1.  The Great Gatsby

How I sell it to my students:  There's this psycho guy, Gatsby, who's been obsessed with this girl for years.  He dated her, but she wouldn't marry him because he didn't have any money.  Instead she married someone else and now Gatsby bought a house across the lake and just spies on her.  Well, he finally gets the nerve to talk to her again and they start this affair but it's ok because her husband is having an affair too.  Then all the shiz hits the fan when her husband finds out and he starts fighting with Gatsby in a hotel room, and then there's this big car accident and someone really important dies and then someone shoots someone and then someone else shoots themself and it's so dramatic and crazy!  Plus they all party and drink all night long and just live these super crazy lives and it's just so much drama, you're going to love it!  Oh, and there's a movie coming out at Christmas and Leonardo Dicaprio is going to play Gatsby oh la la! DID SOMEONE SAY MOVIE?

Why I really love it:  The Great Gatsby is one of the most brilliant plots ever.  Everything interweaves so perfectly and the timing is so crucial and just when you thought a character wasn't important they come in to show they are more important than you ever imagined.  The story in and of itself is crazy enough to make you absolutely love the book, and then on top of that Fitzgerald laces the whole scandalous story with eloquent, beautiful language.  Each sentence is like poetry and he uses words like languid, supercilious, and corpulent.  Every time I read the book I pick up something I didn't before because there are so many layers of beautiful text.  Call me crazy, but they don't make authors like Fitzgerald anymore.

Now, go enjoy one of these books, will you?

And please don't call me a book snob.

Oh, and do me a favor and tell me YOUR top five faves, will you?  I'm looking for some good reading this summer.

Random thoughts... but just for the record I think the word random is greatly overused in society.

I used to do this when I was in high school and I was so bored by my teachers.  I would just start writing and I would write and write and the rule is you have to write whatever is on your mind no matter what it is.  No editing.  No censoring.  No filtering.  No organizing.  I called it random thoughts.  I have paint on my fingernails.  Not nail polish- paint.  Like from painting walls.  It's because I've been helping Greg paint the apartments next door.  It's kind of fun and also kind of sucky just like a lot of things in life I guess.  I wore bright red lipstick to the grocery store today.  I do that to feel sassy and sexy because what's more boring than grocery shopping and what can spruce it up better than red lipstick?  The best thing is though I went to play tennis with Mandy later and I still had on my bright red lipstick.  Sometimes I feel like my grandma when I do that and I LOVE IT.  At the grocery store I had to buy water chestunuts.  WHAT THE?!?!  It's because I'm making this recipe of Vanessa's for lettuce wraps and they called for water chestnuts.  Who has even ever heard of those?   I also had to get sesame seed oil or some other weird crap like that.  I swear, how anybody becomes a good cook is beyond me- it all seems so complicated.  I like Emily on the bachelorette but I wish she didn't wear so makeup.  I think she's going to pick Arie although I hope Jef goes far because he's from Utah.  We can't figure out if Jef is Mormon or not.  We try to figure it every episode- is he drinking alcohol, is he wearing garments, is he cussing up a storm?  No conclusions yet although we stalked his facebook and saw a picture of him with an apostle.  Hmmmm.  I wish I had some chocolate peanut butter ice cream but unfortunately I ate the rest of it last night.  If only I could talk Greg into going to the store to buy me some.  I bet he'd do it if I were pregnant.  I swear, pregnant people get everything they want in life.  I can't wait to have that excuse and I'm going to use it to its fullest.  I wonder if my students miss me and all my jokes.  Who am I kidding?  Of course they do.  I don't really miss them.  I'm just loving summer.  These first few days have been so awesome and I feel all my stress just completely melting away.  I think Greg likes summer Bonnie much more than school Bonnie.  I like summer Bonnie more too.  She's just cool, you know?  You know who has a funny twitter account?  Bill Murray.  For example:  Have you ever thought about how difficult it must be for a giraffe to throw up?  HAHA!  Hilarious.  Sometimes they're too dirty for me, though, so I gotta censor them you know.  My lips are kind of chap.  Too much sun.  Greg lost his wedding ring when he went to California.  I'm still mad at him for that although he claims it wasn't his fault.  Well, we all claim things, don't we?!?  All I know is he ain't getting no expensive ring the second time around.  Next weekend we're going up with friends to my cabin.  HOLLER!  And the weekend after that we're going to St. George.  HOLLER!  And the weekend after that is my birthday.  DOUBLE HOLLER!  Also Greg auditioned for a zombie movie tonight and if that doesn't fit him to a tee, I don't know what does!  I think this is the first time I have ever referred to my husband as Greg on my blog.  Welp, readers, looks like that cat is out of the bag!  Hubs' real name is Greg and all this time you thought it was just Hubs!  Joke's on you, people!

Now tell me.  Was that not the most thought provoking thing you've ever read?

I blame it on summer time.  Lack of organization and inspiration and care and where was I going with that?

Tomorrow we'll take it to a more educated level, I promise.  Book talk, get excited.

NEWS! NEWS! NEWS!

NEWS:  I fear the plants in my windowsill are dying.  At what point do I have to face the fact that they no longer belong among the living?  I have been trying desperately to resurrect them, but to no avail.  In my heart of heart I know they will not live, but I can't just throw them out.  You see, I'm all about symbolism.  And these plants symbolize my ability to take care of, to nurture, to give life to.  And now they're dying.  Which brings up the question, if I can't keep a couple of measly plants alive, how am I ever going to keep a baby alive?  Obviously lack of care for plants equals lack of care for offspring, right?!?!?  So are these dead plants a surefire sign that I am destined to become the world's worst mommy?

And no.  That was not an announcement of any kind. 

IN OTHER NEWS:  Today I was moving my furniture around in my front room.  This had absolutely nothing to do with being creative or crafty or cute.  It had everything to do with pure necessity.  You see, the furniture arrangement in our house is currently so that the couch is in front of the A/C.  Obviously this cannot be for the entirety of the summer, we will die in the sweltering heat.  DIE, I TELL YOU!  While I was moving the furniture around, pushing the entertainment center with my legs, (obviously, it's the only way to move heavy furniture, don't you know?!?) the xbox fell from the top of the entertainment center and landed smack down hard on my foot.  I cussed.  I cried.  And then I hopped around like an idiot.  It hurt.  And it still hurts. 

Looks like I'll have to lay at the pool all day tomorrow recooping.  Ah shoot.

IN OTHER NEWS:  I am eating peanut butter chocolate ice cream out of the carton.  Hubs hates it when I do this, but scooping it into a bowl is such an inconvience, isn't it?!?  Busy ladies like myself cannot be bothered with spoons and bowls, come on!  Plus, he's not home, so what he doesn't know can't hurt him, and isn't that such a great attitude to have in a marriage?

IN OTHER NEWS:  When Tony Parker speaks I go weak in the knees.  I can't help it.  I know he cheated on Eva Longoria, and I know he's a dirty player, flopping all over the place, but oh, that cute little French accent.  Who could resist?!?

IN OTHER NEWS:  I posted two pictures of plants and no pictures of people and that's how you know it's a slow news days on the blog.  But admit it... aren't my houseplants simply fascinating?

Look at all the people

Saturday marked my first official day of summer vacation and I spent most of the day slaving away, helping Hubs with a painting project.  Aren't I such a good wife?

About 4:00 I was totally beat and I realized with sudden abruptness that my summer plans of laying around and doing nothing weren't exactly panning out.  So I put my foot right down right then and there and said, "Listen up Hubs!  This is my first day of summer vay cay I can't just be working all day!  I'm a free woman, and now I need to be free, dang it!"  To which Hubs looked at me and said, "Ok.  That's fine. I have to go to a performance anyway."

Sometimes boys just won't let you be dramatic, you know?

And so I was off with my girlfriends to Seven Peaks, the local water park where we have season passes.  (Oh yah!  Doing summer in style!)  We went on a few of the big rides, but mostly we floated slowly around the lazy river with not a care in the world.  I tormented a ten year old boy who was a self proclaimed "Marauder" (To which I said:  "What the heck is a marauder?"  To which my friend said: "Aren't you an English teacher?" To which I felt like an idiot.) who spent much of his time swimming under us, around us, trying to flip us, etc.  You know the flirting antics of ten year old boys, don't you?  (FYI:  For those of you who don't know, to maraud means to roam or go around in quest of plunder or make a raid for booty.  There's no shame in not knowing, people.)

I couldn't help but notice all the people as we lazed around and around and around.  Some skinny some fat some black some white some old some young.  Some with scars and tattoos some with fake boobs and fake tans.  Some with sunglasses some suth sunburns some with diet cokes some with giant tubes.  I couldn't help but look at all these people and start to wonder:

When was your first kiss?
What are you most afraid of?
Have you ever experienced great loss?
Do you get along with your family?
What makes you laugh?
What do you believe in?
How do you treat other people?
What enemies have you made along the way?
What trials have you overcome?
What makes you cry?
What hurts your feelings?
What makes you happy?

And then you know what really blows my mind when I'm floating around on the lazy river making eyes with the ten year old marauder? 

The fact that God knows every one one of these people in the water park.  That he knows all of their fears, their strengths, their hopes, their dreams, their struggles.

Pretty amazing when you think about it.

School's out for Sssssssummer!

This is Chris Blackburn.  He refers to himself as the "Dinosaur King".
He comes in my classroom at least every day wondering if I have soda cans to recycle.
Often he quotes Avatar for a classroom of students bored of grammar lessons.
Boy, I'm gonna miss him.

No more classes
No more books
No more teachers students
Dirty looks

When the principal rings the bell
Flip him off and run like....

IT'S OFFICIAL!
Today was graduation, and with that I am a free woman for three months.

Summer Plans:
Sleep in
Stay up late
Swim
Go camping
Write
Play volleyball
Play tennis
Hang poolside
Get a tan
Read books that are purely entertaining and not at all educational
Paint my fingernails
Flirt with Hubs
Eat popsicles

Care to join?

P.S.  Check out my hip new sponsors on the left sidebar.  You know you want to.

From the mouth of teens

Well I'll be!

I done near forgot about our giveaway last week!  Remember darling Elissa with these prints? 

I never announced the winner for that adorable giveaway!  The plan was to get a winner by Saturday... but Saturday was smack in the middle of Memorial Day weekend and I wasn't thinking about no giveaway.  Then the week started and it was extra credit and grades and attendance and cleaning out cupboards and last day of school and graduation and I'm about to lose my freaking mind!

So there was no winner.

But now there is a winner.

Because I rememered.  And it's better late than never my friends!

The winner of the print is Kara who said" I really like the "love is all you need" print or the "you are my forever favorite" print!"  Well, Kara, darling, you are in LUCK my lady friend because that print is now yours!  Shoot me an email at lifeofbon@gmail.com with your address and your pick of prints and we'll get that sweet bippy on it's way to you.

NOW.

For a matter of the UTMOST importance.

It's that time of year... SURVEY time!  The last few days of school I give my students surveys asking them to evaluate the class- telling me what things they liked about the class and what things they thought I could improve on.  Last year's responses were pure gold and this year's were not far off.  

AND NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO...

From The Mouth of Babes Teens

unfiltered, unedited, unscripted

(and with an occasional commentary by yours truly)

Who would think these harmless boys could be such critics?!?

List the things you like about this teacher.  What things have gone well?

- She was funny-ish. (ISH?!?!  COME ON, PEOPLE!)

- I don't think I ever payed attention but Teacher is good at teaching us. (And yet you never paid attention?...)

- This teacher is funny and cracks a couple of jokes.  (A couple?!?  Come on!  I crack em every single day!)

-she doesn't yell all the time. 

-happy (most of the time ;))

-She tries to get to know the students insteaed of just teach and get over it.

-she's a young teacher and she's still fun.. like, she even has a twitter.  That just makes her a Bad A teacher!

-She's really nice and doesn't make me want to hurl myself off a cliff.

-Room is cozy

- My grades until 4th quarter

What could the teacher do differently to help students have a more positive experience?

-"five-ten minutes free time at the end of class. remember humans are like dogs you let them off the leash every now and then, then they'll do as you ask"  (I couldn't get over the elaborateness of this one.  If nothing else I taught them the power of figurative language, right?!?)

-No More ESSAYS!! they suck....

- less reading (Ummm... you do realize this is a reading and writing class, right?)

- stay on topic but getting off topic a little bit is what makes her great (totally contradicting itself)

- Nothing just keep bein' chill.  But maybe when kids are fixing their hair by using their phone..it'd be cool if you didn't take it away! ha.. (Want to know the full story?  Go here.)

-more movies

- elemenate animal farm. (Can't help but be ashamed of the spelling)

- The tests felt overly specific.  For example the Great Gatsby test had a question about how much a pearl bracelet cost.  WTF?!?!  Why would I care about the price of a pearl necklace?!?!

- More food!!!!

- do not Read Animal farm!!!!


Aren't you glad that you don't have seventeen year old critics?

Oh my Hair!

I guess you could say that when it comes to committing to my hair, I just can't do it.

I'm a hair-committment phobe, if you will.

I don't want to be locked down to any one cut, any one color, any one style.



Ever since high school I have changed my hair incessantly.

Every few months.

Cutting.

Chopping.

Dying.

Growing.

Waxing.

Curling.

Styling.

Frosting.

Straightening.

Blowdrying.

I changed my hair two months ago and am already bored of the new style.  Looking for a different do. To help me find the perfect hair, I looked over some old pictures.  And then I thought, "Hey!  Why  not let those nice people who read my blog help me decide?"

So that's what I'm doing.  Help me decide which hairstyle you like best, people.  And then know that I might ignore all your suggestions and do what I want anyway.

Who volunteers to follow me around with a camera?

Oh Memorial Day
How I Love Thee
Let Me Count the Ways...

Saturday morning Hubs and I headed down to Moab, the red rock city of Utah, where he was performing at the Moab Arts Festival.  Now, before you look at all these pictures, I think it might be about time in my blogging journey to give a little disclaimer.

My pictures suck compared to other bloggers' pictures. 

There you have it.  I've said it and I'm not ashamed of it.  There's a couple of reasons why my pics are no good, and since I know you're all at your desks wondering why, I will tell you.  But you owe me for this, YOU OWE ME.

#1: I straight up don't enjoy taking pictures.  At all.  I hate when I'm having such a great time, a picture perfect moment if you will, and I think "Oh, I have to take a picture of this."  Why can't I just enjoy the moment?  I hate getting other people to look at the camera, I hate asking strangers to take pictures for us, I hate organizing and uploading and editing pictures.
 
#2: The flash on my camera is broken.  My camera is also somewhat cheap.  The pics don't look that great.  You have to do a lot of fiddling and a lot of adjusting to get a picture to look somewhat decent on my camera.

#3:  Because of reason #2 and also because I have no picture taking skills in the world, my pictures rarely never look that good and then I'm just bugged.  Have you seen some bloggers' pictures?  They have the most beautiful pictures of them doing EVERYTHING... playing with their kids, pushing strollers, eating dinner.  A few weeks ago I read a post from a well known blogger who had bought fruit from a sidewalk stand.  On the post were several pictures of her examining the fruit, buying the fruit, carrying the fruit.  BUYING FRUIT FOR PETE'S SAKE!  All of the pictures were extremely well taken, with beautiful lighting, and vivid clarity.  What I want to know is this:  WHO THE HELL IS FOLLOWING HER AROUND TAKING PICTURES OF HER?  AND HOW DO I GET ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE?
(Sorry for the cuss word mom!  That's two days in a row I've cussed in my post.  I'll cut it out, I promise.)

And now, without further ado, a few crappily taken pictures of my weekend:

 I don't know about you, but I think he's about the gosh darn cutest girl there ever was. Just look at those flirty eyes!

I was sitting close to this red shirted man during Hubs' performance in Midsummer Night's Dream.  He was making this face throughout the entirety of the show.  Just absolutely delighted and pleased.  You can't ask for better audience members than that, can you?

It was Hubs' and my first camping trip together.  EVER!  This is the morning after... you can't beat a baseball cap when you know you look like crap. 

Hubs refused to be in the picture in the morning.  Some people don't have the confidence to show off their dirty faces and nasty clothes after 24 hours of being outdoors.  Lucky for me, I do.

This campsite took us over an hour to find.  When ten people try to find a campsite at 11pm on Saturday night on Memorial day weekend in the most popular camping town in Utah... well, they ain't gonna have a lot of luck.  I was about ready to kill someone, and we almost had to make the 3.5 hour trip to Provo right then and there, but then miracle of miracles, we found a spot.

Wondering why there's a ladder in the middle of our campsite? 
Aren't we all, aren't we all.

Other highlights of the weekend include a campfire that went late into the night with witty jokes and clever games, a quiet visit to my dad's grave with Hubs, barbeques with both sides of the family where we obliterated my nephew in a game of tetherball, watched a dog terrorize a baby, watched three kids terrorize a dog, and ate a lot of really yummy food. 

But, of course, there are no pictures of those things.  Because I was enjoying the moment too much, too lost in enjoyment and satisfaction to worry about snapping a picture of it all.  Because I didn't feel like getting up and looking for my camera, instead I felt like sitting back and feeling the sun on my cheeks.

IS THAT SUCH A CRIME?!?

Home... let me go home...

My home for 20 years.

I haven't been to my hometown of Price, Utah for almost a year.  My mom sold our house in Price and moved up to Provo less than a year after my dad's death.  When I visited home in the year after he died, it took me the entire 90 minute drive from Provo to Price to prepare myself mentally to be in my house, to be there without dad, to be "home" but not feel like it was still "home".

After my mom moved, it wasn't something I had to deal with anymore, and in a way I have mentally blocked out Price.  It's been two and a half years since my dad passed away, and while I don't totally understand the grieving process, I do understand that I am in some ways still going through it. 

This was evidenced this weekend when Hubs and I decided to take a camping trip down to Moab.  Going to Moab requires going through Price.  It wasn't until we were on the road that I started getting scared.  I realized I would have to go through Price, and that it could be difficult. 

And it was. 

Every street, every store, every landmark reminded me of my dad, of my family before he died, of my childhood, of what once was.  Passing through Price I described to Hubs, "that's the car wash where I hosed down my friends on the last day of school", "that's my elementary school", "that's my dad's old office building."  We even stopped at KFC for lunch and I remembered my 17th birthday, eating there with my parents and my little sister and how now it's just a joint that we stop at on our way home from camping.

Isn't it weird to revisit a place that held so much significance in your life?  To return to a place that was your home but that isn't any longer?  I felt the same way when I went back to visit Argentina two years after my mission.  To be on the same dirt roads, to go to the same little shops, to return to an earlier stage of life.  It makes me think of the place I am in now, and wonder if one day it will be weird for me to return, maybe with my kids in tow, to this apartment complex or to Copper Hills High and say "That's where your dad and I lived when we were first married" or "that's where I had my first real job."  It is crazy for me to think not only of the significance that people have in my life, but of places too.

On our way home from our camping extravaganza, I wanted to drive past my old house.  But I just couldn't bring myself to.  So we drove on through, on toward Provo, and I promised myself that next time I'll stop by the house.  I guess that I gain strength and work through my grief one step at a time.

And the next step?  Getting my damn feet taken care of.  These burning toes have got to go!

Men are from Mars...

You know the golden rule, right?  The whole "Treat others like you would like to be treated" thing...
Well I'll tell you right now, that when it comes to marriage, that is a straight up lie.
Hubs does NOT like to be treated like I do.  And I do NOT like to be treated like he does.  I was confused our first few months of marriage why he wasn't overjoyed when I would do things for HIM that would make ME completely happy.  What?  You're not totally stoked that I hung up cute curtains?  Why aren't you doing cartwheels because of the cool shirt I just bought you?  How did you not notice our new scented candle, ya jerk?!?!

It's taken a little while, but I think I've figured out a few of the areas where I should definitely not do to Hubs as I would have him do to me.

1.  I love myself a good tickle/ caress.  I like it when Hubs gently tickles my back, my arm, my leg.  Being the good wife I am, I figure, hey, if I like this then he's gotta like it to!  So I start tickling Hubs' arm, ever so gently.  His response is "Stop it- that tickles."  "What, you don't like it when I touch you ever so softly that you would think a ladybug was crawling all over you?  You must be CRAZY!" I defend myself. On the other hand, when I want a back massage, Hubs goes to town, pressing, chopping, pulling.  "Wow, a little softer can you?!?" I cry.  But he doesn't get it, he just keeps kneading and rubbing- exactly the way he would like it.

2. When I need to vent to Hubs, I like it when he just listens.  The other day I was going off complaining about school, carpool, early mornings, you know, the daily grind.  Hubs started immediately listing a bunch of solutions.  I was bugged.  "Hey Crazy boy!  Zip it!  I don't want you to FIX the problem, I just want you to LISTEN to the problem.  Don't you know anything!?!?"   In contrast, a few days ago we were cruising around in the car and Hubs was talking about a lot of the things that were stressing him out.  I listened just like I would want him to listen to me.  "Well, say something!  Don't just sit there and listen!  I want your advice!"  Hubs bursted. I was shocked.  He actually wanted me to reply?   I just thought he needed to vent.

3.  When we're having an argument I always assume the best thing I can do is get real close to Hubs and smother him with love and kisses and attention while we work it out.  It always makes me feel better to get lots of attention when I'm sad, so why wouldn't it help Hubs?  On the contrary, he prefers to be left alone, to mull it over, to have some space.  But when I'm upset and Hubs gives me space I'm completely offended.  HELLO!?!?  Doesn't he realize that I need to be coddled, loved, cared for?  I'm upset, is he blind?!?  Come to find out, Hubs always thought he was being polite by giving me space and time to myself.  And here I was, getting all hot and bothered by it.

Sometimes when I think about it I'm completely shocked that any two people have the audacity to think that they can get married and just merge two completely lives.  So many differences to work through, compromises to make, and lessons to learn from.  So... how about you?  How are you and your husband most different?  Anything you love that he just absolutely hates?

P.S.  Don't forget to sign up for this sweet giveaway that closes tomorrow.  The number of entries is low meaning you are most definitely going to win!

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