The Life of Bon: Why I haven't seen The Artist

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Why I haven't seen The Artist

Tonight was the Oscars.  For those of you who didn't watch, it was pretty much Hugo and The Artist making out like bandits while every other nominated movie watched in humiliation.

I like to think that I keep up with movies, books and pop culture, and that I am aware of what is going on in the entertainment world.  I am with it, and I am relevant, thank you very much.  That's why I felt pretty lame as I watched The Artist win best actor, best director, and best picture for 2011.  Yes, I felt lame indeed.  You see, I have not seen The Artist
Oh, but it wasn't my fault that I didn't see The Artist.  No, no, not my fault at all.  My mom and I decided to go see it one Friday night when it finally came to Provo.  Oh, but stop.  Tragedy had struck that theatre the night we went to see The Artist.  All credit card machines were down.  No checks were accepted.  Only cash, please, at this oh-so-exclusive theatre. 
I don't carry cash.  Ever.  And so, with no cash, no checks, and no cards, I obviously could not pay for the movie.  Looks like it was time to mooch off mom.
My mom arrived at the theatre and I told her of our predicament.  Much to my chagrin, (and while we're on the subject, isn't chagrin the coolest word?) she was also not carrying cash. (The apple does not fall far from the tree, does it?)  We made the quick decision to go across the street to Costco to see if they would give us cash.   Their answer was "Yes, you can get cash from your card as long as you buy something."  So my mom bought weight loss drinks.  Then they said, "Oh we meant cash from your debit card, not a credit card." 
My mom didn't have a debit card.
Neither did I.
We were S.O.L.
"Let's run real quick and see if we can find an ATM!" My mom suggested.  Man, that girl was determined to see the movie!  "Mom... at this point the movie started twenty minutes ago....  I think it's time to give up." I broke the news to her gently.
Discouraged, dismayed, and some other dis-word I can't think of, we threw in the towel on our quest to silent movie bliss.  Instead, we headed on over to see Hubs' production of Secret Garden and figured we'd have to catch The Artist the next weekend. (And F.Y.I. Secret Garden was every bit as good as a best picture film, I assure you!) 
And because all good tragedies such as this one have to have a heartbreaking ending, I will now tell you that The Artist left town two days later.  Yes, my mom and I were officially and forever denied our desire to see French cinema at its finest.  But let the record show, we tried to see that movie.  WE TRIED. 
(The end in French.  Because I'm smart like that.)



  1. I guess it was just destiny for you not to see The Artist, so strange that they could make it so impossible to buy a movie ticket - isn't that how they make money?

    Hopefully you'll be able to rent it soon, I haven't seen it yet either so I'll also be waiting for it to come out on DVD :)


  2. I just don't get into awards shows. Never have. It seems like we pay so much attention to Hollywood that awards shows are just one more time where they talk about how awesome they are. Not to mention I never watch any of the movies. The hubs is a film buff and does want to see The Artist, so I'm sure we will rent it when it is available.

  3. I really want to see The Artist, I heard it was amazing when it was out..but after all the awards it really MUST be amazing!

  4. I've seen both and thought 'Hugo' was pretty weak compared to other children's films BUT I was totally won over by 'The Artist'- you need to see it (Half my degree was film so I consider myself a bit of a buff and I rarely say anybody must see a film but this really was charming).Rx

  5. Great post, made me smile! I haven't seen The Artist yet either.

  6. haha Bonnie. You're too funny. Try "fin" instead of l'extremite

  7. Anonymous4:23 PM

    Oh, that's heartbreaking! And you tried so hard too. :( Oh well, I'm sure it will be on Netflix soon. It really is a fun movie, so I hope you get to see it.

    Thanks so much for visiting my blog!