The Life of Bon: Love is a Battlefield

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Love is a Battlefield

Hubs and I never get in arguments.  We were raised exactly the same way and have the exact same personality.  We never act grumpy, tired, selfish or impatient with each other.  Our marriage is perfect.  We have never had a disagreement on how we spend our time together, when we get together with family, who does what work around the house, where our money goes, or how we'll raise our kids. 

Nope.  Never.  Nunca.

What's that you say?  You think I'm lying?  I'm not!  It's the truth!  We never ever ever disagree!  We are as perfect for each other as th---

Ok fine.  I'm done with the facade.  We do disagree.  We do argue.  We do get mad at each other.  Sometimes I even start to cry (gasp!) and sometimes Hubs even says he needs a little time to himself (double gasp!)

It took me a few months of marriage to realize that every time we had an argument it did not mean that we were on the fast track toward divorce.  I guess too many horror stories and a late (ish) marriage gave me a tainted view on lasting love.  

What?  You don't want to watch a chick flick with me?  DIVORCE.
What?  You didn't unload the dishwasher like I asked you to?  DIVORCE.
What?  You forgot that it is my mom's birthday?  DIVORCE.

Thankfully, I have gotten to the point in marriage where it's not a major catastrophe every time I don't see eye to eye with Hubs, and we smooth out most of our arguments before the argument even begins.

Except for this weekend.  

Problem in a nutshell:  I am soooooooooo high energy.  All the time. Hubs is more chill, mellow. The past two weeks Hubs, the little actor of mine, has had a performance every night (Secret Garden, thanks for asking!) 

Let me set the scene for you:

Setting:  End of day, family apartment
Hubs: Dead tired, needs to relax, wants to chill and NOT entertain anyone anymore, not even his darling wife.
Bon: Crazy, hyper, needs attention, wants to get wild and stay up all night acting like teenagers.

Saturday Hubs had not one, but TWO performances.  And I entertained myself on my own for the majority of the day and night.  Naturally, when Hubs came home Saturday night, I was all over him like a wild chimpanzee with rabies.  Somehow, after spending all day long performing, Hubs didn't want to jump around chimpanzee style with me.  Nope, he didn't want to play games, he didn't want to kiss and cuddle, and he  didn't even want to fold the laundry I had left for him to do!

 A little disagreement.  
A fight, of sorts.  
I was upset that he couldn't understand I needed more attention and love and time.  He was upset that I couldn't understand that he needed his own time and to unwind and not be accosted by a wife acting like a monkey. (He's got a lot of nerve, doesn't he?!?)

I'll spare you any more details of the disagreement.  The point that I am getting to is this (I know what you're thinking, "There was a point to all this endless rambling about monkeys and chimpanzees?)  after a few hours apart, I came home to see the ENTIRE apartment spic and span clean, the curtain rod fixed, the laundry folded, the trash out, the bathroom counter scrubbed.  

And on the bed was this:

That's my teddy bear, FDR.  
That's my teddy bear, FDR, wearing lingerie.
One day I'll tell you the whole history of the mischievous FDR, but for now it sufficeth to say that Hubs was trying to seduce me via a stuffed animal.  

And it worked.

We hugged, we kissed, we apologized for each being stubborn and selfish, and the fight was over.  

Although it was just something small that happened over the weekend, it has led me to a lot of contemplation the past few days.  Experiences like these help me to realize how grateful I am for all for the relationships in my life- with Hubs, friends, family, my students (ahem, in a completely appropriate way, of course...)  Isn't it great to know that there are people who care enough about us to sacrifice and make time and clean the house and leave notes and call to check up on us?  I am convinced that the most important part of this life is the people that are in it with us.  And I guess I could be a little bit better about showing that...

And you know what the best part about fighting is, don't you?  
Making up.    
Boom chika wow wow! 

And now, for no other reason than that it's a Tuesday and no one likes Tuesdays I present to you:

This is my best friend's husband and child at a wildlife safari in San Antonio.  My friend titled the picture "Aspen's favorite animal just got demoted."  And THIS, my friends, is why I want to have children one day.


  1. I love how real you are. Hubby and I are not perfect either! I wish none of us had to put up a facade. I LOVE this picture of Geoff and Aspen!! HAHAHA...just made my day!

  2. Oh my word, that photo is incredible! Priceless I tell you, priceless. And her mom's tagline, even more priceless!

    Aside from the AMAZING photo, I really like this post, it's disturbingly similar to a typical Friday evening in my flat ha! Sometimes we all need a bit of space, but it's so hard to realize that when you're so excited to have a fun night. Something to work on for me :)


  3. You guys seem like a beautiful family. Stay blessed.

  4. I totally had something to say but that zebra's teeth scared the heck out of me! Seriously...what an amazing and clear picture! Your friend could totally enter that in some sort of contest!

    I think I was going to ooh and aah over how wonderful your Hubby is. What a guy!!! By the way, was he Dickon???

  5. OMGosh, this is EXACTLY my marriage, except the complete opposite....guess that wouldn't make it the same, huh?! I come home from rehearsals ready to relax and my darling husband is ready to literally tackle me. It's fun. Fun, fun, fun.

  6. It's good your mind doesn't automatically jump to "DIVORCE" anymore whenever a minor disagreement pops up, haha!

    That zebra picture is too funny - the look on the poor girl's face is just priceless.

  7. I've been married for 22 years and we fight and argue happens! However, we always make up and soon come to the realization that we'd be lost without each other. End.Of.Story. That picture cracks me up! :)

  8. We rarely argue BUT, I have learnt that sometimes you need to vent. Nobody is perfect and you need to tell each other those little things that annoy and generally we try to put it right. Communication is key, most of the time that's talking, but if it's sometimes in a moody tone, it's fine! Rx

  9. Relationships take work, but they're always worth it, aren't they?? And girl, thanks for the compliment on my blog the other day! I use a canon rebel t1i and absolutely love it.

  10. Lol, I stopped by to leave a comment or two and I read this post and literally laughed out loud! You are a funny lady :) The pic of the Zebra is hilarious (if not a little frightening as well...). Thanks for sharing about your fight with your husband. It's funny how we automatically go to DIVORCE when something goes a little wrong. I guess we all do it. Luckily, we love enough to push through :)

  11. Hey Bon! Your blog is genuine and I really appreciate that you write about things like this! I also really love the zebra photo! Oh man! perfect!

  12. That (last picture) has to be the best thing I have ever seen. Seriously. My husband and I laughed at it for a good 5 minutes.