They make my life rich.
I feel like an apology is in order.
I'm not sure exactly who I am apologizing to. To the vast internet audience or to my mom or maybe to God but I feel like I need to apologize to someone for being spoiled and whiny and ungrateful. I've had the better part of five days to think about it and if I could unwrite Sunday's post I would but I can't, so this post will have to do.
On Sunday I wrote about jealousy. I wrote that I was jealous of a friend who has recently bought a house and gone and gotten herself pregnant. She is on her way to adulthood and steadiness and consistency and all the things you dream about. What a life! I was jealous that I don't yet own a home and haven't had kids and just generally don't feel like I'm in a place in my life to make those huge decisions that everyone else makes so easily.
That was my post I wrote on Sunday.
I was thinking about that post as I drove to work on Monday morning. I was driving to school in my little toyota corolla that has not given me one problem since the day I bought it. The car is paid off as of a year ago, thus I get to drive this bad boy every day free of charge. It's reliable as they come.
I was thinking about that post as I went to the grocery store Tuesday afternoon and bought whatever I felt like. The coconut almonds looked good so I picked them up, not thinking much that it was $3 down the drain. It's only $3 and that ain't too hard to spare. My grocery cart was full with food for the week.
I was thinking about that post when I checked my bank account on Wednesday and saw that I got paid. I have a full time, steady job that pays me well enough to provide for all my basic needs and then some. I never have to worry about going hungry or having a place to live or putting clothes on my back.
I was thinking about that post when I taught my class Thursday morning and we held witch trials for all the witches from The Crucible. We dressed up and guillotined the accused witches and we laughed and the kids were creative and funny and I realized for the one millionth time how much I freaking love my job.
I was thinking about that post tonight when I cuddled up with my sick husband and realized how immensely grateful I am to have a companion to share this life with.
I was thinking about that post when I took a hot bath and realized I don't have to tote warm water, but have it right there for me whenever I want it. I was thinking about that post when I called a friend that lives out of state but whom I can talk to whenever I want thanks to the modern conveniences of phones. I was thinking about that post when the weather turned cold today and I put on a sweater and turned up the heat and didn't suffer hardly two minutes of discomfort.
Turns out I don't have much to be upset about. I am abundantly blessed. Rich, even. I have everything I need in this life and then more and then more and then some more. There's no house but who in the world said that every 27 year old should feel entitled to owning a home?
I have enough.
I am enough.
There will always be enough.
(P.S. This article also helped shed some light and made me feel a bit sheepish. It's okay to not have it all at a young age, it takes time and work and all that other good stuff to get a place of stability in your life.)