The Life of Bon: The Wife of a Comedian

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Wife of a Comedian

Tonight is Hubs' comedy show.

That usually means that approximately three hours before the show I get a text that says,

"Bon, can you bring a clean pair of jeans to the show tonight?"

And I say yes.

Four minutes later, I get another text.

"Could you also bring a pillow... and hershey syrup?"

And I say yes, but this time a little less willingly, because I'm going to have to go buy the hershey syrup.

 Another two minutes pass before I invariably get another text.

"And also my cop outfit?  I need the short shorts, the tight black shirt, the aviators, the gym shoes and the whitey tighties.  I'll make it up to you I promise."

This is always followed immediately by a text that reads,

"Can you bring that stuff right now?"

Yes. My husband just requested whitey tighties.  Now.  A whitey tightie emergency, if you will.

That's the life of the wife of a comedian the day of a show.  It ain't easy, folksies, but someone has got to do it and that someone is me!

I know I posted this yesterday.
But just in case you are wondering about his "cop outfit."
This is it.

The first picture ever taken of Hubs and me. 
August 2010.
At this point we were just flirting.
Who would have ever thought it would turn into me delivering his whitey tigthies for him?

Always making me laugh.
This same night we went to a fair, held hands, and watched the fireworks.
Hubs said to me, "Let's not break up."
And I said, "You got it Mr!"

In other news, the overhead projector screen at school fell when I was trying to roll it up.  It came crashing into me with a hard thud.  Those sophomore girls screamed bloody murder, you'd of thought they'd seen a pack of ghosts emerging from the screen the way the yelled fit to beat Betsy.  Now I've got a nice scratch on my hand and a mean bruise on my knee. 

Needless to say, I demanded a new screen. 

The custodians are on it.

Did you know that I carpool to school?  It is both awesome and awful.  Today our conversation consisted of Jamie telling us about her two best friends, one who had had multiple affairs on her husband, and one who was in a marriage where the husband ignored her all day and was emotionally abusive.  Brad, the other carpool buddy, was strangely riled up about the man who ignored his wife and said that he is "scum" and hopes he "burns in hell."  I agreed it wasn't the best thing to do to a woman, but that if we were going to talk hell logistics here, surely the lady who had an affair would be burning much hotter.  Brad disagreed, seeming to think that men are held accountable to a higer level than women. 

And that was what we talked about for nearing on sixty minutes.

Oh, the lives we lead!

Now, if you don't mind, I've got a husband who is begging me to run his underwear over to him.  And you better believe I'm a good wife, so I'm peacing out.


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  1. Hahaha that is too good! Im a bit confused as too what the syrup is going too be used for though...
    Amy xo

  2. I love that he said, "Let's not break up."

  3. Omg, your hubs totally reminds me of my fiancee. Where would they be without us?? Lol love your blog, definitely following back :-) jenn

  4. Hahaha! This is so funny! I am LOVIN' your blog :)
    PS: thank you so much for the comment on my blog :)Totally made my day
    YOUR new follower
    Nikole :)

  5. His outfit reminds of Reno 911. It's always good to laugh. Taking life too seriously is lame.

  6. I love the very first picture of you and your husband. The hot pink in your hair just makes me happy :) xo

  7. Your husband sounds pretty hilarious! The fact that he wears that cop uniform... totally awesome.

  8. how funny! life seems like it is always a laugh and a party! xo

  9. LOL, I can ONLY imagine. I'm sure the show he did was hysterical. Hershey syrup??? lol. He's lucky he's got you, and that you're so willing to bring these random collections of things to him!

    xoxo, Amy

  10. this is hilarious! you should post some of his jokes on here, he sounds hysterical! y'all are so cute!

  11. YAY! Thanks for the comment and for following! I love having new blog friends and yours is so cute and funny!

    The Mrs.

  12. I love it. Reminds me of that kid's song, "Oh by the way" where the child is telling his mom all the things he needs to take to school that day (oj can, cotton balls, rubber bands, etc).