The Life of Bon: A story about being awkward.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

A story about being awkward.

Good news guys.

I'm not socially awkward anymore.

I first feared I was growing socially awkward last spring.  After attending a blogger meet up, I came home, flung myself on the couch and bemoaned in an overdramatic voice to Hubs, "I don't even know how to talk to people anymore!"

The blogger meet up had been my first ever- hosted by Elisabeth and Brooke in March.  While I had been blogging consistently for months at this point, I still felt like a liar in the term "blogger."  Wouldn't these people know I was a scam?  Wouldn't they suspect that I wasn't a real "blogger" at all?    (And while we're on that subejct, I still feel uncomfortable in the term "blogger."  Does anybody else?  I feel like I'm just a blogger wannabe and surely everybody is bound to catch on that I ain't the real deal.  Why is this?!?)

I had no idea how to act at that blogger meet up.  I had read a few of the blogs of the girls there, but I had no idea what was appropriate to say to someone you had only stalked online.  Several girls I didn't know at all- would they be offended if I openly admitted that I hadn't read their blogs?  I also wondered who had read my blog.  What information did these women already know about me?  Could they all see straight through my soul?  I've always taken comfort in the fact that I can remain unknown at get togethers if I choose, I could remain quiet and anonymous.  But suddenly I couldn't.  There was no where to run to.  Nothing to hide behind.  I was exposed.  Raw.  Vulnerable.

I coped with this in the only way a normal, scared "blogger" can be expected to.  I ate a lot of cupcakes.  When that got old, I decided to try talking to some people.  I wasn't sure what to say to other bloggers so I awkwardly walked around the room saying, "Hi.  I'm Bonnie.  What's your blog?  Okay.  I'll read it," as I jotted down various websites on a dirty napkin.  After I had successfully obtained the address to her blog, I would then walk away from the girl unannounced, having no idea how to keep the conversation going.

After about 30 minutes of this I texted Hubs, "This is weird.  I'm coming home."
He texted back, "Why is it weird?  You should stay."

How rude!  Insisting that I stay at something that was obviously out of my comfort bubble?!?  THE NERVE OF THE BOY!

So I stayed.  I walked around the room, pretending to be busy, pretending to have an agenda.  I ate another cupcake.  I filled my water glass.  I acted very busy throwing a napkin away.

Then, I saw a girl standing at the doorway who looked every bit as uncomfortable as I was.  I approached her, and not having anything in mind of what to say to her I blurted out, "This is weird, huh?"  She laughed and admitted, "Yah!  I'm just trying to make it look like I'm not a loser."  I considered telling her she had failed, since I had approached her specifically because she looked miserable, but I thought better of it.  There we were, a couple of weirdies trying mightily to make it look like we were enjoying ourselves, but failing miserably.

Can you find me?  I'm on the right side of the room about three rows up.  I'm the only girl with her mouth wide open and her hands clasped to her face.  I clearly did not know how to handle the situation.

Fast forward to six months later.  Last week Elisabeth informed me that she was yet again planning a little blogger get together- this one a bit smaller and more intimate than the first.  My natural reaction was to not go to it.  To stay home and cuddle with Hubs and watch Criminal Minds.  But I know the importance of getting out of my comfort zone, and I want to have relationships with these blogger friends of mine, uncomfortable as it might feel at first.  My teaching friends help me cope with teaching issues, my married friends help me cope with marriage issues, so naturally I need to have blogging friends to help me cope with blogging issues.  (Have YOU ever tried explaining the blogging world to someone who doesn't blog?  Yah, they don't get it.  You gotta have blogging friends.)

So, I threw on some colored tights and a striped dress because surely that is what the blogging world would be expecting me to wear, and headed on over to this blogger meet up.

Only this time I wasn't awkward.

Correction:  I wasn't as awkward as I was the last time.

I managed to enjoy the night and especially enjoyed fun conversations with Brooke, London, and Deidre.  I didn't say anything idiotic and I didn't even have to send a rescue text to Hubs!  One blogger commented she thought my legs were very sickly until she realized I had tights on and I chimed in, "Yep!  That's me!  The girl with jaundice!"  The night progressed in that fashion- I cracked some jokes, I met new friends, and I even downed a $5 pina colada in record time.

That, my friends, is something worth celebrating.  And so, I DECLARE A TOAST!  A TOAST TO NOT BEING AWKWARD IN GROUPS ANYMORE!

Here, Here!

How do you act in groups of people that you have never met?  
Any secrets to make me feel less "awkward"?


  1. we've been at like two blogger meet ups together and i haven't gotten to talk to you really. pathetic. got ot work on that.
    you're adorable.


  2. i always end up talking way way too loud and laughing like a maniac! People always give a sympathetic nod and back away...I know how you feel. You rocked those tights!!

  3. Girl you are not awkward at all! I was admiring how put-together and friendly you were the entire night. I mean it was kind of awkward that we shared the same water cup the whole night long, but hey. We're learning.


  4. Just thinking about going to a blogger meet up makes my skin crawl because I know I'll be painfully awkward. (Reminds me of a blind date on a much larger scale.) I am literally the worst at small talk and I have a feeling if I had read someone's blog all I would do is give off the stalker vibe. That, my friend, is the stuff nightmares are made of. Luckily, I live too far north and there is so much construction on I-15 so I may never be able to convince myself the drive is worth it!

  5. I am so super awkward in groups. Even ones where I know some of the people... I think its gotten worse since I got married... I used to be great in a crowd now I'm a disaster.

  6. haha this post makes me laugh! Wish i could have been there! Glad you went!

  7. i have purposefully avoided blogger meet ups because they are SO awkward! I'm not like a 'legit' blogger so i feel weird talking about my blog because it's nothing special. i wish i wasn't so scared of not knowing anyone at the blogger meet ups because they always sound so fun ha ha

  8. I'm a rambler at functions where I don't know people. I ramble about the weather, tv shows, music...

    but don't go there. It doesn't work. If you want to overcome an awkward situation, let someone start talking about themselves. People LOVE to talk about themselves. Suddenly you find yourself in a conversation where you don't have to contribute back and you still look totally normal sitting on the couch talking to someone! Win, win!

    Btw: I totally love the jaundice look on you.

  9. 1) I wanna go to a blogger meet up!!


    2) I'd probably be JUST like {or worse} you were the first time around lol.

    Great story! Thanks for sharing!

  10. Glad you went and had fun! #bonus I would love to go to one, but pretty sure my awkwardness could match yours anyday :) Let's be honest tho, I wouldn't mind being awkward with you :)

  11. I went to the blogger meet-up at The Chocolate and felt the same way!!! I felt awkward & lame. I really wished I had gone to this last one at Spark, looked like you all had a bunch of fun! :)

  12. I haven't been to a blogger meet up before. Mostly because I've only been serious about it since like, April. And all the girls I stalk over the internet live on different sides of the country. I am so going to the next one though.
    also, I'm awkward in 99% of situations I'm in. and when I get awkward, I get really jabbery and can't shut up.

  13. I went to the same meet-up and felt weird the whole time despite coming with people. I then felt like a loser when someone made fun of me high school style and then texted my husband saying I had to get the heck out of there.

    I carpooled so I didn't go home, but I'm glad I'm not the only one.

  14. I remember this! I'm standing wayyyyy in the back by the window :) I am so sad about missing the recent meetup at spark, though, I hope you had fun!

  15. haha I love this! I get just as awkward in big groups when I don't know anyone. Living abarod, by myself, has helped with that but once awkward, always awkward haha. So glad we've connected!!

  16. Ha! I love this! This is exactly how I would be if I ever get the chance to go to a meet up. Which sounds terrifying. I'm jealous though, I've been searching for meet ups in my area but apparently I'm the only "blogger" (I cringe at that too)in Wisconsin. LOVED your outfit!

  17. I'm super shy in person if I don't know you, so I would probably feel awkward going to a blog meet up, lol. But, I think I want to attend one, I live in Utah too, I just need to get the courage to move out of my comfort zone and socialize with other bloggers! I know I would make new friends out of it

  18. The reason I haven't been to blogger meet-ups? I'm more of an observer until I know the person/people. Even then, I don't just jump into conversations or approach people. So, I'd totally be awkward with you.

    I swear in hs I used to be way more extroverted. As a hs teacher? I can talk to the students and parents and other teachers and be fine. Just with peers. Weird.

    Your outfit? SO cute. I love the blonde on you! So pretty.


  19. Anonymous9:39 AM

    Let's be honest. You are not awkward. I am. I sit there and I am like... Should I laugh? Should I pretend like I got a phone call? Should I just blurt out something and then apologize saying I have turrets? Most of the time I feel like I should blame my life on turrets... Maybe next time. Also. I was EXTREMELY nervous to actually be talking to you in the flesh because I am obsessed with your blog. And Adam had to give me a "Bonnie is a normal human" pep talk before I left. Just sayin....

    Love, The Skinnys

  20. I love that you posted about this. I have been debating for the past few weeks about whether or not to go to a blogger meet up in my area. I am so nervous but finally signed up like 5 minutes before I read this! How perfect and it is tomorrow! haha Well now I know I am not the only one nervous about going and be very awkward :)

  21. First of all, you are so right that it's hard to talk about the world of blogging with someone who doesn't blog. Second of all, a blogger meet-up sounds so fun! I loved hearing about it from your point of view. Glad to follow along with you :)

  22. Lol omg!! That first picture, I'm literally crying!! Also I really want to go to a blogger meetup, but I think I'd do better with fewer people, also I've never heard of any happening near me. Laammmee. But I'm CERTAIN I'd be totally awkward. Not sure how but I seem to be getting more awkward with age. Awesome!!

    Glad you pushed yourself out of ur comfort zone and it ended up being good!!!

  23. Love the new profile picture! You're so stinkin adorable!!

  24. Your story sounds all too familiar to something I would do! You're flippin adorable! I'm defiantly jealous of your blogging, blogger meet up parties! Looks like fun!
    Thanks for following. Love your blog!


  25. That group picture has me dying lol!