The Life of Bon: You need to know some things

Thursday, September 06, 2012

You need to know some things

There's some things around here you oughta know.

#1:  Oughta is not a real word.  I know that because my blogger dashboard is underlining it in red which tells me it is misspelled.  It is also not spelled oughtta.  Which tells me that this word doesn't actually exist.  This makes me sad because I think oughta is a pretty kick butt word.

#2:  Each year I get $200 to spend on my classroom.  Every year I spend it on doughnuts and candy for the little munchkins.  You could argue that the money might be better spent, but I say when a bunch of 16 year olds hand in a 10 page research paper that they've been slaving over for a month, those tikes deserve a doughnut!

#3:  I painted my fingernails flaming bright red and then proceeded to take a nap on them.  Naturally, they're now jacked up.  I am considering repainting them.  I am also considering being lazy and just leaving them as they are.

#4:  I have not switched over to the "new" blogger dashboard.  You know, the one you probably switched over to months ago?  I like the old one because it is familiar to me.  I'm not one of those people who hate change, I just hate it when I think it is unnecessary.  This change I think is unnecessary.  Blogger is now telling me that they will be forcing me to switch over in a few days.  You can't force me, blogger!  I pay good money to run my blog through you.  Wait...

#5:  Word on the street is that it is actually much better to have your blog through wordpress.  But everytime I visit a wordpress blog and have to jump through two hula hoops and run through fire just to leave a dang comment I vow to never go the wordpress route.  What do you think- is it better in the long run?

#6:  Today I wore a suit jacket to school.  You can kind of see in this picture.  I thought it incredibly chic and modern but Hubs just made fun of me and asked if I was hoping my students would respect my authority more with that suit coat.  I told him they already respect my damn authority, thank you very much.

#7:  Hubs says he thinks my wildest fantasy involves me wearing a suit coat and bossing everyone in the world around.  Who does this guy think I am?!?

#8:  I had a dream about being stuck in a house and there were bad guys trying to get in.  It was me, my friend Vanessa, her child Allie, and my mom's toy poodle, Buddy.  Buddy was trying to protect us but then he got hyper and started jumping all over the place like he always does.  Vanessa kept telling me it was my job to take care of Allie but Allie was crying and pooping and taking off her clothes.  I woke up stressed to the max and dripping sweat.  My date to have a baby just got pushed back a year.  And while we're on the topic, don't you LOVE hearing about people's dreams?!?

According to my dreams, I am now this child's primary caretaker.

#9:  Did Emily really "text cheat" on Jef?  And if so, wtf Emily?!?  And if not, why would Jef's brother say such a thing?!?

#10:  I'm starting Othello with my senior classes.  They act too cool for school until I tell them old daddy Shakes was the king of sexual innuendo.  It isn't until we read the "black ram is tupping your white ewe" line that the kids really light up.  Maybe Shakespeare ain't all that bad?

#11:  I haven't watched any of the Honey Boo Boo madness yet.  Should I start?

#12:  When I have children I want a girl first so she can grow up to do all the work and babysit the other ruffians that will inevitably come along.  Is that a bad reason to choose the gender of a baby?

#13:  I also want a girl so I can name her this totally rad name that Hubs and I have picked out for a girl.  It's special in its significance and original but not one of those super crazy names that's spelled Qylci but pronounced Kelsey.  And yes.  That is how a student in my class spells her name.  All I know is she will have a long life of correction people's pronunciation.

#14:  My mom is taking her kids and their spouses on a cruise in October.  I'm so excited I almost can't stand it.  I'm also excited because the ship leaves out of Long Beach so I will get to visit my friend Akasha who lives in Southern California.  I'm also excited because food.  Yes.  Food.

Me and Akasha back in the Hawaii days.

#15:  Speaking of my mom, Hubs and I are still crashing her basement.  Life exploded out of nowhere.  All of a sudden it was back to school and then extra class and the New Mexico and then an occasional blog post.  And so looking for an apartment has been put on the backburner.  The Tivo and the Air Conditioner and my awesome mom don't exactly have us running out the door.  Why do we have to be adults?

#16:  I really wanted to get my first kiss when I was 16.  I didn't.  I got my first kiss when I was 18, and that's the truth although the sad truth if I'm being honest.  I blame it on the fact that I didn't hit puberty until I was 17.5.  Hubs didn't hit puberty until he was 20.  Our kids are screwed.  I apologize in advance, future children.

#17:  I really like my blog and I like the people who comment and say nice things and say funny things.  Sometimes I don't say it enough because I feel awkward, but I really really like the people who I interact with via blog world.  You basically make my life complete.  So thank you.  Thank you from an awkward girl who appreciates you reading and commenting but feels weird saying it.

#18:  I like you guys so much that I've considered doing a "comment of the week" where the best comment of the week and the blog of the commenter get highlighted.  It's just one of those ideas that floats around in my head along with Teen Mom theories and Weezer lyrics.  You understand, don't you?

#18:  Today I spelled villain on the board.  Only I spelled it villian.  A student corrected me.  I insisted I was right.  He insisted I was not.  I looked it up in the dictionary.  He was right.  Everything I thought I knew about my superior spelling skills has been shattered.

#19:  I was in a spelling bee every year from fourth to eighth grade.  I won twice.  In sixth grade I knew every single word on the list and got out on the word "pyramid."  I spelled it pryamid.  I bawled and bawled and bawled.  For some reason spelling words right meant a lot to nine year old Bonnie.  I think it was because my dad was so proud of us kids when we won and I wanted him to be proud of me.  Isn't that what all kids out of their parents when it comes down to it?

#20:  The school day starts 15 minutes earlier this year.  It used to start at 7:55, but now it starts at 7:40.  Yet it ends at the same time.  What's up with that?  I complain about it every day with my students.  We're all mad at the administration.

#21:  I delivered fascinating lectures on Shakespeare to my students yesterday and today.  Did you know daddy Shakes was 18 when he knocked up the 26 year old Anne Hathaway who he was then forced to marry?  If that doesn't scream 16th century scandal, I don't know what does any more people.

#22:  Have you signed up for this giveaway yet?  Eryka's jewelry is adorable and the entries are pretty low so your chances are uber high that you'll get picked. (Three winners!)  Giveaway ends Saturday at noon so get moving people!

#23:  Did you notice that there are two 18s?  I'm a mastermind!!!


  1. You need to watch honey boo boo. I would love to hear your commentary.
    I am a horrible speller. Especially writing in front of other people. Or I'll stare at a word and convince myself it's wrong.

  2. I hate when websites force me to change. It takes me way to long to remember the new system!
    I do like blogger much better than wordpress. I had to use wordpress for a technology class in college and it just wasn't as user friendly.

  3. Honey boo boo should be a no go. Seriously I cannot stand to watch a minute of it! Your students should love you for those doughnuts!! And Wordpress? Another no go. Not a huge fan. Way to complicated for me!

  4. We used to get $150 for a classroom budget, this year they cut it to $100, and we cannot buy treats with it. Every single Jolly Rancher I give out is paid for by me. Boo.

    I tried to watch Honey Boo Boo, I was bored.

    Our school day got moved up 15 earlier last year. Which meant we now had to be there at 7:15 instead of 7:30. That's so early.

    Have a great day!

  5. honey boo boo looks to weird for me, never seen it, probably never will.
    you would of been my favorite teacher if you brought me doughnuts, but really.
    super jealous you get to go on a vacation.
    also, i would name child something crazy, but my last name is wiemer, i dont want to be any crueler than i already am by giving birth them and being called a wiener their whole life.

    any ways, thats all, great my last sentence has an awkward word in it whoops.
    have a great weekend

    oh ya and 7:40, thats so random.


  6. You should DEFINITELY (did I spell that correctly?) do a comment of the week. Such a great idea!

  7. You are hilarious lol OMG~ I totally didn't realize there were 2 18's I was to busy being impressed with your cool looking blazer.. and in awe with the crazy Shakespeare innuendos I missed in high school.

    I haven't watched honey boo boo I suppose I should but then I might be like what, wait, what, wait...

    I think they should allow you to put pictures your comments because I have some great pictures to go along with this...

    You should totally do the whole comment of the week, because then people would be like OMG I have to be the commenter of the week have to think of something amazing to say!

  8. I'm ashamed to say I watched half an episode of Honey Boo Boo.

  9. Best way to spend $200 ever! haha. The kids appreciate that way more than pretty bulletin board crap!
    I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one that messes up my nail polish 5 minutes after I paint them. I can no longer paint them at night because I always ruin them during the night.
    Please do not switch to wordpress. I don't leave comments on wordpress blogs because I have to sign in and blah blah blah. I'm lazy.
    Honey Boo is trash entertainment. Semi amusing, but trash nonetheless.
    I wish my mom would take us on a cruise!

  10. Yes, watch Honey Boo is total trash but pure entertainment because this family is totally out there! Lemme know what you think if you watch it =)

  11. I love this post!! This should be a weekly thing. I think it would catch on, just like your Awesome Comment of the Week.

    Just sayin'

  12. 7:40am?!?!??!What time do you finish?? We start at 8:40 and finish at 3:20!

  13. Oh my goodness, you make me laugh and I wish you'd taught me Shakespeare. Othello was too racy for my convent girls' school - we did A Midsummer Night's Dream on repeat and then mixed it up with The Taming of the Shrew.
    Happy days :-)

  14. Oh I was a spelling girl gal too, and I can totally relate to your sadness! My word was "omission." I spelled it omition. good guess?

    P.S. I took a Renaissance Lit class in college pretty much for the sexual innuendo. It was awesome!

  15. My daughter's school day is starting 15 minutes earlier too and I'm cranky about it! What is up with that? It's a nationwide thing. Hmph.

    I'm with you on wordpress. I hear it's better, but I can't always leave comments, so I judge it on that. The new blogger isn't bad. Although my daughter is still resisting the change too. You two should definitely talk.

    Oughta is not a word?

  16. I love reading your blog. It is always so much fun to read. Have a great weekend!

  17. Love the randomness of it all and I taught middle/high school English for a year and a half. It's my favorite subject ;)

  18. You know that show Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

    I wouldn't make it 5 minutes. And I teach 5th grade.

  19. When I was in school nothing was better than a morning 'doughnut party' from time to time - and your blazer is awesome.

  20. So agree..have the girl first. My oldest Hannah is 12 and can "babysit" the others now. SO GREAT!!

    Love the jacket!!

    You had me at Doughnut!

  21. Love this post!

    I'm usually the first to watch a trashy TV show...hello Jerseylicious and Real World/Road Rules Challenge (yes it still comes on and yes I still watch it with my husband). For some reason I haven't watch Honey Boo Boo Child yet but I think I might give it a shot!

    I lost in the first round of our spelling bee in 5th grade. The word was emu. It was so easy that I thought it was a trick so I spelled imu instead. Boo...

  22. LOL "old daddy shakes". And yes, watch Honey Boo Boo! I tell my husband that although he might not like the show, he won't regret it.

  23. We didn't do Shakespeare my junior year of high school because the teacher was in the Shakespeare Folger's Institute thing (yeah that's totally real and they have seminar's where they teach you how to teach Shakespeare to the type of kids who don't even realize that the movie O is based off of a Shakespeare play.) Anywhoozle we didn't do any Shakespeare my junior because the ONLY thing, and I do mean ONLY, we did my Senior year was Shakespeare (this was only for the Advanced English students who she knew were going to be back and do you know that half of them still didn't realize that the movie O was based off of a Shakespeare play /facepalm)


  24. I want to go on a cruise! I am so jealous!

  25. honey boo boo. yes watch it. its so entertaining. yet so stupid. yes, watch it!

  26. I refuse to switch to new blogger til they make me!

  27. I switched to WP a month ago. Love it!

  28. Thanks SO much for visiting my blog, following, and your sweet comment! I'm following yours now too! I did my blog design.... it took lots of playing around in photo editing sites before I finally figured out what I wanted to do! I'm so glad you like it! :)

  29. Geez girlfriend! You have a lot going on in this post!! I lol'd at the "villain" thing. Also--love me some Shakespeare and I'm pretty sure Othello is my fav, although we don't teach it to students. Far too scandalous!

  30. My high school started at 7. Seminary was at 545 off campus. I wish school started at 740 when I was 14-18!

  31. Cruise-time baby!!! SO fun! Love you and your randomness ;) XOXOXO

    Kristine from The Foley Fam {unedited} Blog

  32. First of all, I love you blog. Seriously makes me happy.
    Second, #18.2 is one of my worst fears as an English teacher. Especially since I teach 8th grade. They can't possibly know more than me, right?!?

  33. *your blog. And I say I teach English? Geez.

  34. You were nine years old in the sixth grade? Who are you?

  35. Holy cow, Bon, you must watch Honey Boo Boo. Now that you have me so excited about the blog post that will follow you can't let me down!!!!

  36. I've never seen the Honey Boo Boo thing. Not sure I want too...

    I think Wordpress stinks. Old Blogger is cool.

    doughnuts are a good classroom management investment.

    The whole cruise thing sounds amazing- I hope you have a wonderful time!

    We lived with my parents for four blissful months while we built a house. I wish we hadn't ever had to move out, but I don't think my parents share the sentiment.

  37. I had a good chuckle the entire time I was reading your list.
    Didn't even notice the Double #18 - sneaky!
    I love how you make Shakespeare sound awesome, perhaps I would have paid more attention back in my school days if I had had a cooler teacher!

    Take Care - Love from South Africa!