You need to know some things

There's some things around here you oughta know.

#1:  Oughta is not a real word.  I know that because my blogger dashboard is underlining it in red which tells me it is misspelled.  It is also not spelled oughtta.  Which tells me that this word doesn't actually exist.  This makes me sad because I think oughta is a pretty kick butt word.

#2:  Each year I get $200 to spend on my classroom.  Every year I spend it on doughnuts and candy for the little munchkins.  You could argue that the money might be better spent, but I say when a bunch of 16 year olds hand in a 10 page research paper that they've been slaving over for a month, those tikes deserve a doughnut!

#3:  I painted my fingernails flaming bright red and then proceeded to take a nap on them.  Naturally, they're now jacked up.  I am considering repainting them.  I am also considering being lazy and just leaving them as they are.

#4:  I have not switched over to the "new" blogger dashboard.  You know, the one you probably switched over to months ago?  I like the old one because it is familiar to me.  I'm not one of those people who hate change, I just hate it when I think it is unnecessary.  This change I think is unnecessary.  Blogger is now telling me that they will be forcing me to switch over in a few days.  You can't force me, blogger!  I pay good money to run my blog through you.  Wait...

#5:  Word on the street is that it is actually much better to have your blog through wordpress.  But everytime I visit a wordpress blog and have to jump through two hula hoops and run through fire just to leave a dang comment I vow to never go the wordpress route.  What do you think- is it better in the long run?

#6:  Today I wore a suit jacket to school.  You can kind of see in this picture.  I thought it incredibly chic and modern but Hubs just made fun of me and asked if I was hoping my students would respect my authority more with that suit coat.  I told him they already respect my damn authority, thank you very much.

#7:  Hubs says he thinks my wildest fantasy involves me wearing a suit coat and bossing everyone in the world around.  Who does this guy think I am?!?

#8:  I had a dream about being stuck in a house and there were bad guys trying to get in.  It was me, my friend Vanessa, her child Allie, and my mom's toy poodle, Buddy.  Buddy was trying to protect us but then he got hyper and started jumping all over the place like he always does.  Vanessa kept telling me it was my job to take care of Allie but Allie was crying and pooping and taking off her clothes.  I woke up stressed to the max and dripping sweat.  My date to have a baby just got pushed back a year.  And while we're on the topic, don't you LOVE hearing about people's dreams?!?

According to my dreams, I am now this child's primary caretaker.

#9:  Did Emily really "text cheat" on Jef?  And if so, wtf Emily?!?  And if not, why would Jef's brother say such a thing?!?

#10:  I'm starting Othello with my senior classes.  They act too cool for school until I tell them old daddy Shakes was the king of sexual innuendo.  It isn't until we read the "black ram is tupping your white ewe" line that the kids really light up.  Maybe Shakespeare ain't all that bad?

#11:  I haven't watched any of the Honey Boo Boo madness yet.  Should I start?

#12:  When I have children I want a girl first so she can grow up to do all the work and babysit the other ruffians that will inevitably come along.  Is that a bad reason to choose the gender of a baby?

#13:  I also want a girl so I can name her this totally rad name that Hubs and I have picked out for a girl.  It's special in its significance and original but not one of those super crazy names that's spelled Qylci but pronounced Kelsey.  And yes.  That is how a student in my class spells her name.  All I know is she will have a long life of correction people's pronunciation.

#14:  My mom is taking her kids and their spouses on a cruise in October.  I'm so excited I almost can't stand it.  I'm also excited because the ship leaves out of Long Beach so I will get to visit my friend Akasha who lives in Southern California.  I'm also excited because food.  Yes.  Food.

Me and Akasha back in the Hawaii days.

#15:  Speaking of my mom, Hubs and I are still crashing her basement.  Life exploded out of nowhere.  All of a sudden it was back to school and then extra class and the New Mexico and then an occasional blog post.  And so looking for an apartment has been put on the backburner.  The Tivo and the Air Conditioner and my awesome mom don't exactly have us running out the door.  Why do we have to be adults?

#16:  I really wanted to get my first kiss when I was 16.  I didn't.  I got my first kiss when I was 18, and that's the truth although the sad truth if I'm being honest.  I blame it on the fact that I didn't hit puberty until I was 17.5.  Hubs didn't hit puberty until he was 20.  Our kids are screwed.  I apologize in advance, future children.

#17:  I really like my blog and I like the people who comment and say nice things and say funny things.  Sometimes I don't say it enough because I feel awkward, but I really really like the people who I interact with via blog world.  You basically make my life complete.  So thank you.  Thank you from an awkward girl who appreciates you reading and commenting but feels weird saying it.

#18:  I like you guys so much that I've considered doing a "comment of the week" where the best comment of the week and the blog of the commenter get highlighted.  It's just one of those ideas that floats around in my head along with Teen Mom theories and Weezer lyrics.  You understand, don't you?

#18:  Today I spelled villain on the board.  Only I spelled it villian.  A student corrected me.  I insisted I was right.  He insisted I was not.  I looked it up in the dictionary.  He was right.  Everything I thought I knew about my superior spelling skills has been shattered.

#19:  I was in a spelling bee every year from fourth to eighth grade.  I won twice.  In sixth grade I knew every single word on the list and got out on the word "pyramid."  I spelled it pryamid.  I bawled and bawled and bawled.  For some reason spelling words right meant a lot to nine year old Bonnie.  I think it was because my dad was so proud of us kids when we won and I wanted him to be proud of me.  Isn't that what all kids out of their parents when it comes down to it?

#20:  The school day starts 15 minutes earlier this year.  It used to start at 7:55, but now it starts at 7:40.  Yet it ends at the same time.  What's up with that?  I complain about it every day with my students.  We're all mad at the administration.

#21:  I delivered fascinating lectures on Shakespeare to my students yesterday and today.  Did you know daddy Shakes was 18 when he knocked up the 26 year old Anne Hathaway who he was then forced to marry?  If that doesn't scream 16th century scandal, I don't know what does any more people.

#22:  Have you signed up for this giveaway yet?  Eryka's jewelry is adorable and the entries are pretty low so your chances are uber high that you'll get picked. (Three winners!)  Giveaway ends Saturday at noon so get moving people!

#23:  Did you notice that there are two 18s?  I'm a mastermind!!!