Thursday, September 13, 2012

How to trick your husband

I played a trick on old Hubs.  You better believe I did.

I used to have long brown hair. It took hours to make it look right, required the exact right amount of makeup to make my eye twinkle, and would fall limp if you so much as looked at it wrong. This was very fickle, sensitive hair! And very hard to cope with!

What was a brunette girl to do?!?

ANSWER:  I chopped it all off and dyed it blonde.


You might be wondering why I even had that long brown hair for so long if I hate short hair so much.

One word.

Hubs.

Hubs likes the long hair.
Understatement.
Hubs loves the long hair.
Understandment.
Hubs loooooooooooooooooooves the long hair.

He thinks it's sexy and beautiful when I wear it down and curled, each strand perfectly in place. I suppose it is beautiful that way- the problem is my long hair is only actually done about 2.7% of the time. The other 97.3% of the time it is up in a gross pony tail or stringy or it smells like rotting fish in an alley.

Hey, it's the truth.

It wasn't easy convincing Hubs to let me cut my hair. I had to beg him. Literally get on my hands and knees and plead with him. Late one afternoon last spring I went over to UVU take Hubs dinner and visit with him for a minute before his show started. I whined to him about my hair, how flat and lifeless it was and how I never felt pretty anymore and it was all his fault for making me keep the hair that I hated and why was this boy the cause of all my problems?!?

One hour later I received this text: "Baby...I love you so much. And I love your long hair. But I want you to feel beautiful cuz that's what you are. Show me some pics of email of this hair change you're thinking of."

You know what that is, don't you people?!?! It's a green light! A go! A hair cut permission!

But you can’t just go doing a 180 hairstyle on your Hubs. He’ll tell you that you abused the hair cut privilege. He’ll get his feelings hurt that you don’t care what he likes on you. He’ll feel like he’s losing control of his marriage and that he no longer has dominance over his poor subservient wife! Wow, isn’t marriage complicated?

And, so, the answer my friends, is that you have to do it in steps. Very tricky steps that if maeuvered masterfully will you the uber short/ uber low maintenance hair that you so desire.

WHAT ONCE WAS: THE LONG, BROWN HAIR



STEP ONE:
Cut hair. Go just a bit shorter than the shoulders. A Hubs might think it’s too short, but if it can still go in a pony, he can’t say much, now can he? Add highlights, but let the hair stay mostly brunette.



STEP TWO:
Dye your whole head of hair a blonde color that you find in a box and your local drugstore.  The cheaper the better. It’s okay if it goes a weird, ugly peach color. In fact, it is preferable if it goes a weird, ugly peach color.



STEP THREE:
“Fix” the peach hair color.  This is really all just a ploy- what you're doing is focusing on getting a reasonable hair color back so that your Hubs won't notice the hair you chopped in the process.  In fixing the peach hair color, add lots of blonde highlights.  Your Hubs will be so excited about having a platinum blonde wife that he'll never know that you cut off another four inches in the process!



And THAT my friends is how to trick your husband who loves long hair and get short  hair that takes literally four minutes to do in the morning.
Mousse.
Tossle.
Pomade.
Spray.
Mess it up some more.
Perfection.




Now, the question is, am I smart enough to figure out how to convince Hubs to let me keep the uber short hair?

52 comments:

  1. Your hair looks awesome!! Love it! I miss my blonde locks when I see a nice blonde like that!

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  3. i love it! you can really pull it off :)

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  4. Cute! I think I'll always think of you with this cut and color! It fits you so well! Definitely my favorite for you! Even with that advice, I know I could NEVER talk Geoff into letting me cut my hair. He would seriously cry! haha

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  5. I wish my hair took 4 minutes to style in the morning. I'm in the "gross pony tail or stringy or it smells like rotting fish in an alley" stage right now.

    It's insane how much time I actually spend on my hair from two shampoos, then conditioner, then leave-in conditioner to detangle my rat nest, then heat resistant spray for my straightener. Ahhh!! Like I said, insane! ;P

    You look great with short hair! xo

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  6. I love your hair. I suddenly want to cut mine. . .

    The one time I asked my husband for hair advice he said: Just don't get straight across bangs again. He never even saw me like that in person, just a picture. Guess it wasn't a very good one. . .

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  7. Love the color and the cut, especially with your high cheekbones! I kept my hair short for years...it feels weird now that it's growing out...lol

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  8. Your hair looks awesome with that cut and color! Hope your hubby lets you keep it short :)

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  9. Looove the short blonde! It really brightens you up! I wish my hair would behave when it's short, but it only gets curlier and actually takes MORE work to do than when it's long. Love the look on you though, hope the hubs lets you keep it!

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  10. So cute!! What is it with men and long hair??? So silly you look hot!!

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  11. you look so good with short hair, like you look freaking hott! he will like it. i can tell.

    also, fun to see you tonight!

    K

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  12. I love it! :) Some people are just meant to have short hair. I'm pretty lucky because my husband likes shorter hair (and my hair looks like crap when it's long).

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  13. Your face and hair match perfectly. So complimentary!

    My hair actually reaches my badunkadunk now. (did I really just use that word?) It takes about 40 minutes to straighten, or .7529 seconds to gel the curls. Either way, that's too much time when I have a toddler to chase around.

    So, good for you for going for it! You look great.

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  14. Basically, you're a genius! My husband likes long hair in general....but i don't think he's ever seen me with long hair because every few months I start yelling, 'Ahhh! I hate my hair! I can't do anything with it!" and then I go chop it off again. Not quite as brilliant as your scheme, to be sure.

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  15. You are a genius woman! And it looks great on you to boot!

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  16. You look beautiful! <3 it!!!

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  17. I love that a haircut can make you look like a completely different person. I'm a natural auburn and I've always wanted to go blond but afraid to take the plunge. I'm reconsidering that instead of growing it out now, thx.

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  18. I love only 4 min to do my hair in the morning but in reality, even if I did cut my hair that short, it would still take forever because I have such thick curly hair! But I'll live vicariously through yours!! :) Looks great!

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  19. You can totally rock the short hair, I love it! I WISH I could style any haircut of mine in 4 minutes.. that alone is reason to keep short hair!

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  20. Wow! You look good with short blonde hair! Is it bad that I thought the peach-colored hair looked pretty?

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  21. this looks seriously awesome. did you show a picture to your hair dresser to get your final look? i LOVE the edgey-ness of it!

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  22. LOVE it. You look gorgeous. And can I just say how jealous I am that you can pull off both long/short and brown/blonde hair?! I officially hate you. ;)

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  23. bahahahahaha. This is epic! LOVE the new look!

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  24. hahah why is it that every man loves long hair?? It really seems that way. I love this story though. You can definitely pull it off! Your hair looks beautiful!


    sjdmiller.blogspot.com

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  25. Um your hair is totally and completely adorable. I might judge hubs a bit if he doesn't LOVE it. I had a pixie cut for years, boyfriend never saw me with long hair. Now, it's down to my shoulders and he loves it so much, that when the time comes to go pixie again I will have to come read this post again for notes.

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  26. Love it! Way to work to short locks!

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  27. You look FABULOUS! I'm taking notes because I SO want to cut mine short!! But again those darn husbands get in the way :)

    Kristine The Foley Fam {unedited} Blog

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  28. You can convince. And why do I think that? Because your hair looked BOMB last night. I seriously love it.

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  29. In fact, I really do hate you. Because for a couple months I have wanted to cut all of my hair off so, so bad. Like as short as your peach hair, which actually I like. The only thing is that 2 years ago I chopped off all my hair when it was as long at it is now and I liked it for about a month and then I wanted long hair again. I WANT TO DO IT SO BAD.

    Maybe I will. I'm determined to have ombre locks as my next hair adventure, as well as full-on, blunt bangs. I'll add it to the queue. You've convinced me and that makes me hate you. :)

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  30. I definitely prefer the short blond look on you. I would also never go through the trouble of hiding a drastic hair change or asking anyone, man, woman, or minotaur, what to do with any part of my anatomy.

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  31. Niiice!! The blonde is very becoming. I am a brunette :-/ My hair is about the lenght of your before picture. But I cannot carry off the blonde... nope.. East Indian.. no blonde with this skin.
    I am a new follower :-)
    Cheers, Gee

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  32. Your short hairs is sexy girl! I'm sure your hubs would agree

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  33. Anonymous3:53 PM

    I love your new hairstyle!
    But WHY would any grownup have to ask their husband for permition to cut their hair? Hello, this is your body!!
    I find this kind of odd...

    -Jasmin

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  34. You look beautiful! I recently went off the deep end and pixie cut my hair. This is a great trick;) I love your blog I look forward to reading more!
    Alix
    1love2always.blogspot.com

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  35. It looks adorable! I don't think you'll have to convince him, the new look is beautiful. :)

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  36. I'm pretty sure that hair style was made for you. I would never in a million billion years be able to pull that off. also, I have the short hair hatin' hubs as well. so good luck to me. because guess what. I'm rocking a stringy, nasty, rotting-fish-in-an-alley pony tail as we speak. woe is me.
    also, I think your blog is fantastic. I think YOU are fantastic.
    what I'm saying is, I'll be sticking around for awhile.
    xx
    Whitney
    themiddleofthestreet.blogspot.com

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  37. Wow that looks awesome. My hubs is the same way and then I chopped it all off. He'll just get used to it. Explain how it will take less time to get ready and do your hair...trick him by claiming you need less products and it will take less time to blow dry.... at least thats what I did!

    Good luck!
    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I look forward to a fun blogging relationship with you!

    Clare
    Understated Classics

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  38. i would try to have sex with your hair it's so cute.

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  39. I LOVE your hair!!! I had long hair for the first 32 years of my life.....I wanted to try short hair out "just once." Well, it has been over a year now and it is still short. I positively LOVE it! My hubby does too! Sometimes I miss the long hair, but not enough to make me let it grow back (at least not anytime soon). It is very similar to your haircut! You look fantastic!

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  40. AHHH I love your hair cut- it is gorgeous!!

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  41. "Subtly" mention how much you love your new hair and how beautiful it makes you feel at random intervals. Act like he is the greatest thing since sliced bread for being supportive of the cut. Will work every time.

    www.theopinionatedgirl.com

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  42. wow, LOVE the hair!

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  43. LOVE LOVE LOVE it girl!

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  44. Wow your short hair looks amazing!!
    I have loooong brown hair also. Going in for a cut next week and thinking about doing more than just a trim. Hey... baby steps, right!? :)

    Awesome blog!

    xo, Mal
    www.pastelsandmascara.blogspot.com

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  45. OMG, you are so cute!

    I had the short blonde do, now it's long and brown... thanks to the picture of Tiffani Theissen's hair that I brought in for my hairdresser to copy... hahaha! I needed a change for fall! I always grow it out to cut it off!

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  46. Hi, I'm a long time reader, first time commenter! I love short hair! I just chopped all mine off to boy-cut status. I put up some pictures here:

    leleah.com/why-i-cut-my-hair-short

    great blog, by the way. You have such an honest, refreshing voice.

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  47. Omg I can not thank you enough for writing this and otherwise convincing me that this trickery is the right path, I'd suspected that it was ;-) my hair was waist length a little over a month ago... I've chopped off about 5 inches, its anout boob length now. I literally think about super short hair all day everyday... I just can not take allll this hair anymore. I asked the hubs last night and he, of course, is adamant about me not having short hair... and I always knew he was but every time he says no I begin dwelling on it and how badly injust wanna be free to make the decision and free from the hair! Hair trickery commencing NOW!

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  48. Sorry to be a downer after all the glowing praise everyone is piling on you for deceiving your husband, but that haircut and color really doesn't look that good on you. The brunette color with highlights was far more attractive. My boyfriend likes my hair, I am growing it out because my ex always controlled me to cut it short. It looked horrible and made me look heavier. I think if I tried to manipulate him to cut my hair short, I would be disrespecting our relationship, and I would not want him to manipulate me to get something he wanted. Like you tricked me so you could chop off all your hair, I'll trick you by spending our vacation money on a new motorcycle or just saying screw it, the relationship isn't worth the effort.

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  49. Sorry to be a downer after all the glowing praise everyone is piling on you for deceiving your husband, but that haircut and color really doesn't look that good on you. The brunette color with highlights was far more attractive. My boyfriend likes my hair, I am growing it out because my ex always controlled me to cut it short. It looked horrible and made me look heavier. I think if I tried to manipulate him to cut my hair short, I would be disrespecting our relationship, and I would not want him to manipulate me to get something he wanted. Like you tricked me so you could chop off all your hair, I'll trick you by spending our vacation money on a new motorcycle or just saying screw it, the relationship isn't worth the effort.

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