How to trick your husband

I played a trick on old Hubs.  You better believe I did.

I used to have long brown hair. It took hours to make it look right, required the exact right amount of makeup to make my eye twinkle, and would fall limp if you so much as looked at it wrong. This was very fickle, sensitive hair! And very hard to cope with!

What was a brunette girl to do?!?

ANSWER:  I chopped it all off and dyed it blonde.

You might be wondering why I even had that long brown hair for so long if I hate short hair so much.

One word.

Hubs.

Hubs likes the long hair.
Understatement.
Hubs loves the long hair.
Understandment.
Hubs loooooooooooooooooooves the long hair.

He thinks it's sexy and beautiful when I wear it down and curled, each strand perfectly in place. I suppose it is beautiful that way- the problem is my long hair is only actually done about 2.7% of the time. The other 97.3% of the time it is up in a gross pony tail or stringy or it smells like rotting fish in an alley.

Hey, it's the truth.

It wasn't easy convincing Hubs to let me cut my hair. I had to beg him. Literally get on my hands and knees and plead with him. Late one afternoon last spring I went over to UVU take Hubs dinner and visit with him for a minute before his show started. I whined to him about my hair, how flat and lifeless it was and how I never felt pretty anymore and it was all his fault for making me keep the hair that I hated and why was this boy the cause of all my problems?!?

One hour later I received this text: "Baby...I love you so much. And I love your long hair. But I want you to feel beautiful cuz that's what you are. Show me some pics of email of this hair change you're thinking of."

You know what that is, don't you people?!?! It's a green light! A go! A hair cut permission!

But you can’t just go doing a 180 hairstyle on your Hubs. He’ll tell you that you abused the hair cut privilege. He’ll get his feelings hurt that you don’t care what he likes on you. He’ll feel like he’s losing control of his marriage and that he no longer has dominance over his poor subservient wife! Wow, isn’t marriage complicated?

And, so, the answer my friends, is that you have to do it in steps. Very tricky steps that if maeuvered masterfully will you the uber short/ uber low maintenance hair that you so desire.

WHAT ONCE WAS: THE LONG, BROWN HAIR

STEP ONE:
Cut hair. Go just a bit shorter than the shoulders. A Hubs might think it’s too short, but if it can still go in a pony, he can’t say much, now can he? Add highlights, but let the hair stay mostly brunette.

STEP TWO:
Dye your whole head of hair a blonde color that you find in a box and your local drugstore.  The cheaper the better. It’s okay if it goes a weird, ugly peach color. In fact, it is preferable if it goes a weird, ugly peach color.

STEP THREE:
“Fix” the peach hair color.  This is really all just a ploy- what you're doing is focusing on getting a reasonable hair color back so that your Hubs won't notice the hair you chopped in the process.  In fixing the peach hair color, add lots of blonde highlights.  Your Hubs will be so excited about having a platinum blonde wife that he'll never know that you cut off another four inches in the process!

And THAT my friends is how to trick your husband who loves long hair and get short  hair that takes literally four minutes to do in the morning.
Mousse.
Tossle.
Pomade.
Spray.
Mess it up some more.
Perfection.

Now, the question is, am I smart enough to figure out how to convince Hubs to let me keep the uber short hair?