The Life of Bon: Risky Writing: Not being afraid of your readers

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Risky Writing: Not being afraid of your readers

 

Lately I've been thinking a little about writing and the act of writing and what we write about and writing what scares us even though we are scared.

You with me?

These thoughts have been spurred on by this post that my blog crush, Taylor wrote.  (By the way, if you don't follow her, you need to.  She is 100% not your average blogger and her posts are like a breath of fresh air in the blogging world).

Now, I could have warned Taylor not to even touch politics on her blog.  I could have shouted from the hilltops that writing about politics or religion is pretty much asking to get run over by a bus full of mean blog commenters, but I didn't.  I let old Taylor find out by herself.

And did she ever!  Bloggers were a commenting, people were a ranting, and chicks were full on pulling out their pistols over the whole Romney/Obama debacle.

(VOCABULARY:  Debacle:  A complete collapse or failure.  Also one of my favorite words.  Try to use it in your regular speech and watch your life change before your very eyes.)

I was proud of Taylor when I read this.  I liked her post, and I liked the conversation that she had sparked.  Good writing should always spark conversation.

Taylor, however, seemed a bit alarmed.  People were demanding Taylor's head, and I guess Taylor has never written a confession about parking handicapped so she didn't know how mean blog commenters can be.  To win her readers back over, Taylor dedicated today's post to her "softer" side- trying desperately to convince internet meanies that she's not the crazy, sarcastic b%&#* that she pretends to be.

First off, I think people who post mean comments on blog are just straight up not good people.  What's the point?  If I don't like a book I don't take the time to write the author and tell him his book sucks.  I just don't read anything else he has written.  So why do blog commenters see it as their personal duty to notify any blogger the second they read something they don't like?

Secondly, I wanted to somehow sit down with Taylor in a coffee shop and tell her that what she was doing was spot on.  Of course I couldn't because I live in Utah and Taylor lives in Chicago and I don't drink coffee, but that's a whole different discussion, isn't it?  But what I wish I could somehow relate to old Tay Tay (Taylor, can I call you Tay Tay?!?) was that it was good if people disagreed and people said mean things.  Heck, it was even good if she lost followers over it. 

My theory is this:  You have to be willing to lose followers in order to really produce original, thought provoking writing.  You can't be afraid of the internet trolls, the mean commenters, the people who are going to disagree with everything you say.  You just have to realize that those people aren't who you're writing for and let them go find a nice blog where weekend recaps and Oh, so Pinteresting posts abound.

I guess Dan said it best in his post "How to lose 25,000 followers". He states, "Bloggers have to be willing to lose followers if they ever want to grow," and then he goes on, talking about how you can't live in constant fear of whether or not people will unfollow you because they don't like your content.

In May I sponsored a blogger who politey asked me three times to rewrite my post. My posts were too "controversial", "polarizing", and "inappropriate" for her blog. I had links to a post on birth control, a post about my students' threats to Justin Beiber, and of course, my favorite post describing my sophomore who confused whores with horse.  The blogger stated that she didn't want her blog to be a place where these "kinds of things are hashed out." While I, of course, respected that blogger's wishes, I was also surprised and a bit saddened that she didn't want anything on her blog that could spark the least bit of controversy. Where was the fun? Where was the spark? Where was the risk?

In June I cried over a blog post. I had written a post admitting that I had parked in a handicapped stall to run in to the grocery store for five minutes.  I thought it would spark conversation, get some people to comment.   

Oh, I got that alright.  And a little bit more.  My readers tore into me.  They were merciless.  Wanted me dead.  The comments were fast and furious.  Some were posted anonymously, calling me a liar, classless, and rude.  One commenter even compared me to "bean paste." The post had only been up an hour, and already I couldn't take the heat.

I moseyed on in to the bedroom, where Hubs was dinking around on facebook, and with tears in my eyes I said to him, "You need to read the comments on the post I just put up. I think I went too far." We clicked on over to my blog and read through the comments together.

Hubs said nothing.

"I'm going to take it down," I said with a hint of panic in my voice. "People are crucifying me!"

Hubs kept reading in silence. Then he said, "I don't think you should take this down."

"Why not?" I was scared. And vulnerable. And was literally on the verge of tears. People hated what I had written.

"I think it's good. I mean, I don't think it's good that you parked handicapped. But I think this reaction is good. People who are going to stop reading your blog over this would stop reading within time anyway. You can't be afraid to post stuff like this. You can't be afraid of your readers."

And so, I kept it up. Not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to make Hubs proud and convince him that I was a strong girl even though heavens knows I'm not.

The next day I put on a brave face and lectured my readers via blog post: BE KIND, PEOPLE! IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

And more people responded.

I had more hits to my blog in that two day period than any other time during the summer. I lost a few followers, but I gained many more.  And I had emails up the ying yang of people asking if they could sponsor me.

That wasn't the only time I was scared to post something I had written.

I was scared when I wrote about birth control laws in Utah.
I was scared when I wrote about farts. (Mostly scared of my mom, I admit.)
I was scared when I wrote about my religion. (Terrified is a better term.)
I was scared when I wrote about about gay marriage.
I was scared when I wrote about our culture's attitude toward breast feeding.

But guess what? ALL of these posts are in my top ten viewed posts of all time. They might have caused some readers to go, but they caused even more to come and stay.

Good writing does not succeed or fail based on its ability to please. Good writing suceeds or fails based on its ability to engage. And if I've got 66 people yelling at me for parking handicapped, well, by golly, I guess I engaged them.

Do you think bloggers should write about things that scare them or keep it to sweet and simple posts?  Do you take risks with your writing?  What are your favorite type of blog posts?

56 comments:

  1. This is brilliant. Amen to this, sista! :)

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    1. So am I!

      http://www.elegantweddinginvites.com

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  2. Thank you for this! It mad me so sad that Taylor felt she had to apologize for her post, I read it and loved it!!! Bloggers should take risks... It is our own little corner of the WWW and we should do with it what we please. Be candid. Otherwise, how interesting would blogs be!?

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  3. Mean people are just going to be mean. I have very few followers..like you can count them on your fingers and toes...and when I lost 2 after a joking post about a BYOB painting class I thought about throwing in the blogging towel. But you are right..candy covered blogs are not being true to ourselves. I may never have a large number of followers but I am happy just writing to myself. :) I love your blog.

    Also..whatever happened to the saying if you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything at all??

    Laura@MiceInTheKitchen

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  4. So funny that this is the first blog post I read just after posting a pretty charged post myself. :P I am definitely all about speaking my mind. My blog is meant to represent who I am, and I'm not going to change it to try and appeal to people that won't like me! The first time I posted about religion (I'm Muslim), I was really worried--but then I realized that that is some bullshit, and I shouldn't feel ashamed to state my faith on my own blog. If people have a problem with it, they're not the sort of people I want hanging around my stuff anyways! Tell the truth and let those who want to read it come. :)

    Also, I get so sick of all the nicey-nice vanilla stuff I see on blogs most of the time. Like, fashion is great and all, but there are other things going on in the world too and I think they are pretty damn deserving of attention. Just my two cents. :P

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  5. I'm so new to blogging, but I feel like its important to push your limits every now and then. I think mean comments are tactless and certainly uncalled for! That's just something I'll never understand!!

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  6. Sweet and simple posts are second only to sponsorship posts in my book. My book of the most annoying, pointless blog posts ever. If you blog, hopefully you have something to say. So say something!

    Kristin :)

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  7. I really enjoyed this!!

    I honestly don't understand why people would ever post mean comments on any sort of internet forum, whether it's a blog, or a sports page, or a news article. It actually makes me feel nauseated to read comments sometimes. I've tried to stop completely, but every once in a while it creeps in.

    I think the problem is that people feel anonymous when they post these things, and because all they're doing is clicking out a bunch of words, they don't really get to see the repercussions their words can have.

    I personally have never posted anything extremely polarizing, and my followers almost all are friends that know me personally. I've thought about posting personal, controversial things before, but the reason I don't isn't so much about the backlash I might get, but is more that I like to keep some things private. Which is strange since I also blog about my life, but you know what I mean.

    All discussion is good discussion, and if we can be strong enough to brush tha hatas off, then even the negative comments can be fodder for discussion. Otherwise, I wouldn't have just published a novella on your comments page.

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  8. Let me just say again how much I absolutely love your blog! I'm not big in the whole blogging world, but I get excited every time I see that you have a new post. You really are an amazing writer, and part of what makes you so great is that you say what's on your mind, regardless of whether it might spark controversy. Also, mean people suck :)

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  9. I kind of like you. :)

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  10. I have this post in my drafts dear Bon Bon! #greatminds :) I think it's AWESOME and BRAVE if people write about their life. Period. The good and the bad and even sometimes the diiiiirty! Because let's face it it's life and we are human and we can all learn something from each other even if it's something about ourselves. I COMPLETELY agree if you have nothing nice to say don't say it. People can agree to disagree respectfully. XOXOXO

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  11. I was in a similar situation last Nov. I blogged about a Pin on pinterest that I thought was "disgusting" and took some serious heat from my "followers" about how they thought I was being really judgmental and such blah blah (the pin was of a trash can in a car and I made the comment that I personally thought that anyone who had a mini trash can in their car was simply lazy and gross to be driving around with trash in their car!) I went through all the same things you did as did Taylor, thought oh my gosh, I should take this down or what?
    But again, the whole point of one's personal blog is saying how you feel, and whether or not ppl agree or disagree with you is to each their own, no? We live in such a judgmental world.
    I'm pretty political, and did not take offense to Taylor's post at all! :)
    The bad side to "losing" followers is that you can also have them kinda Form against you so to speak and talk bad..via twitter especially. Always have to be ready for the backlash I suppose.
    Anyway, great post--new to your blog!

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  12. Love this so much! This is definitely the kind of writer I want to be. I call it truth writing. And I appreciate it every time I see it- even if I don't agree. I'd love you to write something controversial on my blog....

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  13. Bon- I could hug you sometimes. I like the way you write. It's thought provoking. I never set out to really write much....but perhaps I should consider it more.... Thanks for always making me thinking or at the very least, smile.

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  14. So well put. I felt so bad for the beating Taylor took, but I completely agree with you. The scariest post for me to write was one about my divorce, but fortunately, I got nothing but praise for it and felt more comfortable to write other things that pushed some bloggers boundaries. That’s the great thing about having a space on the internet to call you own, it's yours, to do with as you please. You do great stuff with your space!

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  15. I really love this post.

    I haven't been following you too long, so I missed most of these 'controversial' posts. I just went and read them all though and totally applaud you for being so incredibly honest.

    It is seriously amazing to see someone write their views even though they know they will be flamed for it.

    I wish I could be more open on my blog and I hope in time I am able to gain the confidence to do so. I have less than 60 followers at the moment though, so I doubt being controversial at this early stage will do me much good!

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  16. I'm with you all the way on this! I just recently started following your blog and one of the reasons I started following is because your writing makes me think. I admire people who speak their minds, whether I agree with them or not. I think now a days we've forgotten how to politely agree to disagree.

    I don't know if you've heard of the Christian singer, Natalie Grant, well she's really passionate about ending human trafficking and was invited by Pres. Obama to hear a speech he was giving on the subject. She posted about this on her fb and twitter and people crucified her for it! Basically telling her they wouldn't listen to her music anymore as long as she supported anything having to do with Obama.

    It's just sad how hateful some people can be especially when you're trying so hard to do something good. But Natalie responded by saying that it was not going to deter her efforts in the fight against human trafficking.

    I think anytime we try to say something or do something important there's going to be opposition. But maybe that opposition is a good sign that what we're doing is making an impact. :)

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  17. You got me on a post about farting. Thumbs up :)

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  18. This was exactly what I needed this morning. Last night I received a comment calling me a bigot and ignorant over a post where I explained that I didn't LOVE my 2 years in Africa. It's one person and that person is clearly ignorant but it got under my skin. I started to think about writing a follow up - sort of like Taylor did - but perhaps I should let it stand as it is. It is afterall, MY blog.

    Thank you!

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  19. I believe that you should write whatever the heck you want to write. It's my blog, my space and if someone has a problem with it, they can get out of my space. I refuse to live my life in fear, whether it be online or not.

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  20. Bon, i love this post. and taylors. i know you'll probably get a billion and one comments and i know that you read all of them. i'm not a blogger who goes on the dark side so to speak, but i have thought about it once in a while. your blog and taylors are helping me decide to move on! it's my blog. i can say what i want. and i totally, totally agree with you. 100%. who gives a shit. its called opinions for a reason!!

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  21. I love this post. I hate that people can be so cruel in their comments, but I guess those people could find anything to disagree with, regardless of what you write. I have stopped following people who bored me because they didn't seem "real." You always seem real, and I seriously love all of your posts!

    P.S. I actually used the word debacle this morning and then spent the next 5 minutes thinking about the word itself. Then you use it in your post. How weird is that?!

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  23. That is why I read your blog. In the words of Forrest Gump, "You never know what you're gonna get" Sometimes it makes me laugh and sometimes it makes me think. I may not always agree, but that doesn't mean I am going to be mean. But I do admit, I tend to stay away from controversial issues on my blog. Except for my love of God and raising my kids in Him. That I will never shy away from. (I know! I ended that sentence with a preposition. Just checking on your English teacher skills)

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  24. What kills me about blogging is how scared we are or how worried we are about what other people think. I get it a lot of people are trying to build a brand, so to speak, so sure be mindful.

    But MY blog is for me to write my feelings. If you don't like them don't read it. I will not get on the internet and yell and scream at people unless they are down right hateful. I just don't care enough to get involved in something that doesn't mean much to me.

    Political posts like Taylor's? Started out hilarious. She didn't attack anyone she didn't call them terrible names. She posted her views to me in a way that wasn't hateful like a lot of political posts.

    Be strong and speak your mind but be mindful of how you speak it.

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  25. word. never be afraid of your writing. if it scares you then it's probably your best work.
    my favorite blog posts are probably the inappropriate ones. I'm all about the laughing. but I always get a phone call from my mom saying, "whiiiit... our neighbors read this...." and then I call it a success.

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  26. Everytime I click on your blog I find something refreshing about your posts. Especially today, very thought provoking beginnig with the quote, which I loved. However when I clicked over to Taylor's controversial post on politics I couldn't even finish it. I don't find ignorance funny, or something to celebrate especially when it comes to something so serious as choosing a President. I'll take you at your word that she's a "breath of fresh air" in other areas.
    Keep up the great writing Bon!
    Leslie (aka Gwen Moss blog)

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  27. oh my goodness I totally know what you mean! I for one believe that if you are afraid to say whats on your heart because of the media or followers than it's not really your blog. It's your followers. I think it's your blog and because it's your blog you should write what you want! Simple as that. No matter the thoughts and beliefs of others. I am a Christian and a 100% Pro lifer. I write about Being Pro life and the importance of keeping our babies safe. I get hate anonymous comments all the time. Actually all my comments on my pro life posts are all hate comments lol. I used to delete the comments or not accept comments period. Because I was afraid of the refection. But then I decided "what the hay!" I'm not gonna write just to keep everyone in their happy place. They need to be aware. I however don't argue with them no matter how hateful and ignorant they appear. I just move on ;)

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  28. I felt the same way about Taylor's post. I also felt terrible that she felt the need to apologize. but anyway... I'm not a writer nor do I claim to be. I have blog mostly for our families to keep up with the little things that go on in our lives. But I could sit here and read others blogs all day. Yours is my new favorite. Hence I'm your newest follower. I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy your writing as I could never do what you do. Thank you!

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  29. Amen. 100%

    My favorite bloggers are the ones who write what most people are scared to write. And I don't think anyone should apologize for what they put on their blog!

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  30. I love this post! I don't really write about controversial things, but I have written many personal posts and I always worry that readers will get tired of them or not care. I have to remind myself that I am writing for me. but it is hard to not take things personally. I struggle with thinking I want to please people and write what I think people would like, but want to not worry about that anymore! I remember reading your handicap post and was so surprised by the comments. I'm not quite sure why people feel like they have to be so rude. and really go out of there way to be mean. thanks for writing this! you are a wise woman!!

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  31. Amen times a million. There will always be someone who doesn't like what you have to say. Even if its simple as "Today is sunny."

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  32. Time to be brutally honest.

    Most blogs are boring as fuck.

    If I want to see pins from pinterest... I'll log in to pinterest. But someone thought it was an oh so brilliant idea to do blog link ups with posts comprised solely of pins.

    (Not to say that I don't appreciate an appropriate image found via pinterest that relates to the body of a blog post, especially if someone is writing a DIY tutorial inspired by pinterest).

    I follow a few fashion blogs and a few beauty blogs because they give really really good reviews, tips, etc. But I'm SOOOO bored of regular bloggers who just post clothes or make up or whatever as filler posts.

    There's a reason I follow so few blogs.

    If there's a blog I like, I'll sometimes scroll down their sidebar with links to other blogs... But most of the time, the other ones are all cookie cutter.

    Sigh.

    I've been blogging since before blogging was cool. I've had my liverjournal for almost ten years now. Oh, yeah, I'm that much of a hipster. I guess I just have a higher standard for blog posts.

    All of this is a roundabout way of saying that bloggers should blog about what excites them, what motivates them, what makes them feel alive. Blogging should be about telling a story, a TRUE story, to the world. Not just an endless stream of pretty pictures you found on the Internet. That's why we have pinterest & tumblr.

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  33. Amen to this whole post! What's the point of writing a blog if it's all just the same sappy "I love my life" crap. Haha! We're all bored of that. I love risky posts because they really make me think. I might not always agree but I would never write a nasty comment on a blog. At least your posts make people think! You should be proud sista!

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  34. I haven't been following you long, but the posts (including the handicapped space) I have read I have loved. It's YOUR blog and they are YOUR opinions. If someone doesn't like them, well they can just read other blogs. Also, I don't believe you should ever apologize for your opinions, no matter how hated they may be. You have the right to believe whatever you want and if I don't like it I'll keep my mouth shut (or politely tell you how I feel, not jump down your throat). Kudos to you for writing about all the hard things!

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  35. One of the MAIN reasons I know I'm going to be reading you forever and ever (assuming you will be blogging forever and ever) is because you write TRUTH. It's not always pretty, I may not always agree but you have the courage to write about it.

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  36. Great post! Thank you!

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  37. I think bloggers need to take risks. I don't read blogs just to hear all the good, nicey nice things in someone else's life. I want to get to know someone through their writing. And getting to know someone isn't just the sprinkles and rainbow posts.

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  38. I like it when bloggers are truthful and (brutally) honest. It's interesting and makes you think not just on the subject but where YOU (reader) stand.

    I don't do this on my blog, but only because I know I'd work myself up and end up calling opponents dumb-dumbs...and that's probably not good.

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  39. People who leave rude comments should just not comment. I think both you and Taylor are brilliant for writing what's on your mind. It's what makes blogging real. And real bloggers are the ones that I like :) Obviously, that means I'm a huge huge fan of yours

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  40. Completely agree. I love blog posts that are 100% honest and real and how the person feels. I love the controversy. I loved taylor's blog post and she was completely neutral in it but the fact that it was controversial made the people flip. I think she and you both need to keep up the awesome blogging!

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  41. You really do have to be brave if you want to be a good blogger....it's never quite fun though. There's days I leave the house and, because I don't have access to a computer the whole day, I wonder what kind of response I'm getting back home...and if it's the kind that will make me cry.
    But it's hard to know what to expect...the very first post I wrote that turned out to attract rude comments from people who were offended by it was a post about me wearing traditional Asian clothes. Who would have thought dresses could spark controversy?

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  42. I'm just going to make this comment short and sweet.

    This post was amazing.

    Thank you :)

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  43. Okay prepare for me needing to vent and get some feelings out or to "accidentally" delete this post from your email.

    I grew up in a family where you didn't talk religion, politics, money, etc...so it has always been very hard for me to address those controversial subjects. Heck we even kept our private lives private when anything wasn't going our way. Blogging has opened a whole new world to me of being able to be open about my life. I still haven't written about my wedding (because as great as it was there are some secrets there) but I have written about my sister's cancer.

    But the worst thing so far for me was that I was begged by a blogger to do a guest post about how God has shown me something. It was a hard post for me to write (because I am just learning to talk about those hard things) and I wrote it and gave it to her. She said it was great...but forgot to post it for 2 weeks in favor of link ups to gain more followers.

    When she finally posted it, people commented saying that I was the scum of the earth and ungodly. So she said she had to take it down (and followed it up by posting one of the most heinous posts I have ever seen in blogland)It hurt so much because I was proud of the post. I am hoping one day I have the bravery to post that post on my own blog, but I love how you are free from risks here on your blog and will continue to be an avid reader of your blog everyday.

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  44. This was nice to re-read. I needed it.

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  45. I love this, Bonnie. I've recently been thinking about my own blog and how it's meandered its little way into being more faith-based than it used to be, and thinking, Should I do this? What might it cost me? And then I think, What shouldn't it cost me? It should cost me my fear, my anxiety, my inner people pleaser, my comfort zone, my idea of safe. Every brick I labor to build this community should cost me, because I can't produce anything worth reading, anything worth engaging in and with, if I don't.

    And I love what Belle Vierge says, that bloggers should "blog about what excites them, what motivates them, what makes them feel alive. Blogging should be about telling a story, a TRUE story, to the world." I remember that, and then I remember why I blog about faith even though it alienates many.

    I was actually going to end my comment with that second paragraph and then I remembered the time I posted a video about abortion. I wouldn't go so far as to call it "anti-abortion" because to me the prefix "anti" connotates a blind agenda, but this video was informative on what actually happens in the process of an abortion. And I had someone comment and say she'd lost respect for me and I had lost a follower. And really, I have to ask, is blogging about followers or is blogging about building something that's bigger than your follower count? Because if I had believed the first I'd have been crushed. But I believed in the second, so I didn't worry about it. Blogging has been so rewarding, so growing, so freeing for me, and I know that for me it's been because I have pushed myself to write and post about the hard things whether I thought anyone would agree with me or not.

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  46. The day I realized how much I loved to write, was the day I had adults ripping into me about what I had written. I was in ninth grade and I wrote a piece on Global Warming and how I believe it has been turned into political mumbo jumbo. People freaked, I had someone from treehugger.com write an article saying how terrible it was that I would write what I did.
    People were upset, I got more hits to the online journalism paper than anyone had ever gotten before total, in one night. My teacher asked if I wanted it removed, I kept it up.

    I made some people angry, but it's what I thought was true, and I stood by it. That was the day that I realized I loved to write. I realized that as a student in the 9th grade, what I had to say could have a huge impact on other people.

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  47. I definitely think its best to be who you are, be true to who you are and reflect that in your writing on your blog.

    No one will please everyone! Yes it hurts when there are hate comments and internet bullies. But sadly thats part of blogging. Accept sometimes hate will come your way, and embrace those who embrace you!

    Always be true to yourself. I always try to be... And I blog about my faith A LOT. Ive been fortunate and have not gotten many mean or hate comments. But I know it can and probably will happen one day.

    I think that knowing and preparing for it, helps.

    Also I think you rock. This is a wonderful post!!

    ~Maria-Isabel

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  48. Oh my gosh, Thank You!! I can't stand all these boring blogs. A blog is an online journal. You can write about whatever you damn well please. No one has any right to say other wise.

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  49. I love when you link to past posts, I have this compulsive need to click on every link.

    I totally agree with just being yourself on your blog. I say what I want regardless of if I lose readers or not, simply because it's MY space to write how I feel. The ONLY thing I try to censor is my potty mouth. If I'm passionate about what I'm writing about an f-bomb may make it through, but I try to substitute words as much as I can. I'm trying to work on the fact that I cuss like a sailor (hard when you live with two soldiers!) so I transfer that to my writing. I've posted quite a few posts that I knew may affect my tiny little 63 readers, and I DID lose a reader when I posted about my views on blogging trends, but I took it as a compliment honestly. I thought "Wow, I stated my views so well this person decided they no longer wanted to read anything I have to say, good riddance!" My favorite blogs are the ones that keep it real. The ones that SAY the f'd up things that go through all of our heads on occassions, and couldn't give two craps less if they offend someone. They're the people I continue to go back to time and time again.

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  50. I've been working on this since I started blogging - and in "real life" too, for that matter. It is scary to just say it - but it is so suffocating and dull not to. It's been a process for me. I've been shocked at the people who come up to me and tell me they appreciate my honesty (like, people from church!). I feel embarrassed at first, but then I feel motivated to keep on. And I'm quite "edited" compared to your writing. I admire you. I actually deleted my follower button because I am so sick of the "cliques" and just being motivated (controlled?) by the "how many followers do I have now?" feeling.

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  51. best i ever read..and bean paste..that's not mean, that is too funny..he wasn't very original

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  52. If we're afraid to spark conversation we'll shy away from some of the most crucial topics. Something close to my heart, personally, has been the debate of sexism in sports and work which is far too often met by either a hushy or downright annoyed/bored/mean 'don't talk about it' attitude. It's a mix of people being afraid of sparking a heated debate which they don't want to deal with as well as those just itching for a fight, and of course those with genuine opposing views.

    But if we only stick to safe topics both in writing and life who will be there to stick up for things that need to be heard. Glad to hear your hub thought you should keep the post up and never fear your readers, keep at it with the risky writing. Some will agree and some will disagree, sometimes right and wrong and big and small topics get muddled but there still needs to be the freedom to raise them. :)

    xo

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  53. Late to the party here (in several ways), but if it helps, I'm Asian and bean-paste-based desserts are some of my favorites. You should take it as a compliment. I also really love your blog (evidenced by the fact that I've spent the past week going through the archives). Keep doing what you're doing!

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