The Life of Bon: The Job

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Job

What is the favorite part of my job as an English teacher to a bunch of teenage ruffians, you ask?

Is it reading responses to literature that go like this: "Why can't cows fly? I wish they could fly. It would be cool if cows could fly. I also wish pigs could fly. But if a pig could fly and it got hit by lightening, then would it be bacon? I wish cows could fly"?

Is it asking my students how they would spend $100 and having one 17 year old student yell back, "diapers for my kid!"?

Is it going to the cafeteria to buy lunch and the lunch lady asks me my student I.D. number and then I watch her turn red from embarrassment as I inform her for the 100th time that I am not a student?

Is it having my students tweet that I'm their favorite teacher?

Is it when my students say "F*** you!" in my classroom and I have to kick them out?

Is it when a girl is so excited/anxious to answer a question that she is literally standing on her desk jumping up and down with her hand in the air trying to get me to notice her?

Is it when my students offer me diet coke in exchange for good grades, and it is honestly a temptation for me?

Is it watching 16 year olds flirt with each other and say things like "Don't you think Jake is the cutest gosh darn thing in the whole world?" and then I stand awkwardly, not knowing how to respond?

Is it the last day of the quarter when all my grades are submitted and I can finally have a moment of peace without students haranguing me about their grade every second of every day?

Is it having our special friend wander into the class on his birthday and singing him happy birthday as he wears his birthday crown and hold his birthday cupcake?

Is it when students tell me they have my same pair of jeans from Forever 21?  (Casual Friday, of course!)

Is it making students act out To Kill a Mockingbird in class and they LOVE it?

Is it when a kid does something inappropriate and I chew them out and see the genuine fear in their eyes and realize that they actually respect my authority?

Is it pay day?

Is it when I tell a whole class of juniors that I'll be teaching seniors next year and they literally (LITERALLY!) cheer?

Is it when a student walks in the classroom and says to me first thing, "You look different without makeup" and I am wearing makeup?

Is it when I see 40 students are honestly on the edge of their seats wondering what is going to happen next in Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream?

Is it hearing the collective groan on a Monday morning when I say "Clear your desks for a test" and they holler back "We forgot!" and I yell back, "I warned you a million times- this is your fault, people!" and then watching them squirm?

Is it getting incredibly awkward and not knowing what to say when my students tell me they stalk my blog and my twitter account?

Is it reading Great Gatsby with my class and I being so absolutely enthralled with the book that I am completely shocked when the bell rings and class is over already?

Is it convincing an entire group of sophomore boys to have a sit up competition for a dollar?

Is it playing a word game and unexpectedly having to read the word "weenie" in front of 40 seventeen year olds and laughing uncontrollably?

Is it giving a student a big hug when they break down in tears because their friend died?

Is it gossiping with all the other teachers about the obnoxious students, the naughty teachers, or the crazy librarian?

Is it having students tell me they never liked reading until my class?

Is it having students be so upset by the unhappy outcome of the book that they tell me they want to throw it across the room because they were that invested in the story?


Is it knowing those poor young suckers have to do whatever I tell them, and that they are completely defenseless against my test-giving-paper-assigning powers?


I'll have to sleep on it.

Let you know tomorrow?

(P.S.  Only two more days to enter to win free earrings!  You'd be straight up crazy not to!)


  1. Super cute post- you make being a teacher sound like fun :) I'm sure it's definitely a good feeling knowing your students love you!

  2. It sounds like you have a passion for teaching and your students can tell! And it sounds like a fun classroom to be in!

  3. Awww I wish I had a teacher like you when I was still a student. You seem to really love what you. You are not only having fun teaching but you make learning a fun process for the students.

  4. Isn't teaching great!!

  5. Is that a snake?!

  6. seriously, i want to be a teacher now! you're so cute. & probably one of the best teachers ever.

  7. I love how excited you are about your job. :) Your students are lucky to have you!

  8. I love this. You are probably the coolest teacher ever! :)

  9. Love it! You sound like the coolest teacher ever!

  10. This makes me wish I'd gotten a teaching degree after all! Your students are really lucky to have someone who obviously loves their job teaching them!

  11. Ok, I LOVE you! I wish I was in your class. I am slightly jealous of all the things you can do with your older kids. I love elementary but there is a limit on what I can say and do. I accidentally said the word "stupid" today and my kids freak out and told me I said a bad word.... hahaha.

  12. This is awesome.