The Life of Bon: The sub did what?!?!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The sub did what?!?!

Whenever I've been gone from school I am anxious to get back to my students and hear how the sub was.  Teenagers' reactions to subs are usually along the following:
"Umm... that sub was mean! She didn't let me talk at all! She seriously HATED me!"
"Where did you find that sub? He was so old and decrepit I thought he would fall over."
"Oh my gosh, that sub was FAT!"
"Worst sub I've ever seen! She didn't know anything and she confused us all, and then she tried to teach us grammar, but she basically just untaught us everything you already taught us, so now you're going to have to teach us again."
"I don't think that sub could hear. And he left the room for half the class period."
"Please don't ever get that sub again. I did NOT like the way she dressed."

And now you know the types of things that are important to teenagers.

Unfortunately, their idea of a good sub isn't exactly helpful:
"Next time could you get us a hot, young sub? Those are our favorites."

Yah, alright guys, I'll try to keep that in mind next time.

Wednesday, back from my little vay-cay in Vegas, I was anxious to hear about the sub.

There were assorted murmurs of approval, "Yah, she was good".... "I liked her" ... "She's really nice"...  Chase, however, didn't join in.  Instead, he just sat in the back and giggled.  Now, I don't usually use the word giggle for a boy, because, well, hello, it just sounds weird on a man.  But I'll tell you, this boy was definitely giggling. High pitched, uncontrollable giggles.

Finally, he spoke up.
"Teacher, I have to tell you something!"
"What is it, Chase?" This was clearly important.
"The sub..." He paused, trying to control them crazy giggles.  The students around him were laughing, too.  "The sub...she..." more giggles....  "The sub walked by us and she... she... SHE FARTED!"  And with that last word, Chase was gone, lost to his unconquerable fit of the giggles.

The students around him confirmed it. "She did! We all heard her!"

Dubious, I conducted some interrogation.  "Are you sure it wasn't her shoe, or a desk or something?"
All kids shook their heads emphatically.
"No, it wasn't! We're certain!"
"How are you so sure?"
"She said 'Excuse me'!" One kid chimed in.

And then I had to join in with those kids, throwing my head back and having a long, hard laugh.

Because I don't care who you are.

That's funny.
Admit it. Just looking at my students you can tell they're awesome.


  1. Bahahaha! Oh my word that's great - poor thing, she was probably SO embarrassed! Students can be both sweet and hilarious and brutal all at the same time!


  2. That story just made my day! :)

  3. bahahahahahaha. I bet she was so embarrassed!

  4. Hahahahaha!! Poor lady!!

    When I went on my honeymoon I made sure to get a hot young sub. He was married, but my students still really liked him (mostly all girls) so if you need his sub number, let me know. :) (Jordan school district, right? I'm such a creeper)

  5. Ah! The poor lady! It would kind of be like reliving some terrible high school nightmare!

  6. oh dear...poor sub. They will never look at her the same way.

  7. Ahh thanks for becoming a follower! I am an official follower of you too. We are real life friends AND blogging friends now :)
    This post cracked me up by the way. You make me laugh.
    Oh, Just Livin' the Dream

    P.S. Button Swap/Preview posts?!

  8. Haha I don't think I could ever be a teacher, I would laugh at everything my kids said. That poor sub, how embarrassing!!!

  9. Aren't subs the best?! I teach 9th and 10th grade English too, and boy do my students hate it when I'm gone!